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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]

275 replies

ruthie667 · 26/01/2016 23:50

Not sure whether to take this as a compliment and laugh it off ... or never let him have friends over again lol!!!

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]
OP posts:
Sallystyle · 27/01/2016 20:58

If my husband looked at me and said 'nice tits' I would think he had lost his mind. He wouldn't speak like that.

Now, he might tell me I look lovely, and say he likes my boobs, but 'nice tits U2'? Nah. Although he might not be so polite during sex but that is a different situation.

I am also very offended by builders wolf whistling at me. I am not put on this earth for men to comment on. I don't go around whistling at men because I'm not a prick.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 27/01/2016 21:01

Terrified it's not connected to school though, it happened at home I think. Why should school be involved?

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 21:13

You see nodowntime you nailed it yourself with the comment "mostly in a sexual situation". Why would anyone want to hear comments appropriate to a sexual situation from either strangers or teenage boys? I don't think they do. I don't go around saying "nice cock" or "lovely bollocks" to random men, because as u2 says, I'm not a prick!

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 21:13

Oh dear the word "nailed" wasn't a great choice there was it Blush

Kellz92 · 27/01/2016 21:20

I must have a weird sense of humour because I found it funny. Not the drawing, not the writing, but the fact she found it. I only left school 5/6 years ago, and all the boys in my class always went on about their friends mums.

ItchyArmpits · 27/01/2016 21:26

I am really horrified at how upset some posters are here.
As a former teacher in sec schools, what is drawn or written on the desks was 100 times worse!

This is just normal teenage boy behaviour.

As a current teacher in secondary schools, this is not normal behaviour.

I cannot understand how anyone can think this is funny. It is sexual harassment, FFS. The fact that the OP finds her harassers unthreatening does not make it harmless. And if she condones the behaviour by laughing about it, then they will continue. And the next person whose tits they admire might be younger than they are.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/dec/02/sexual-harassment-party-daily-life-british-girls-girlguiding-uk

Allthatnonsense · 27/01/2016 21:30

This is appalling.

They'll be grabbing girls chests next.

I do wish that people would teach their sons how to respect women.

Ambroxide · 27/01/2016 21:52

all the boys in my class always went on about their friends mums

Really? That is just horrid. How weird and inappropriate.

UmbongoUnchained · 27/01/2016 22:07

I was a teenager not so long ago and "your mum" jokes are very popular among boys and girls. It's just a way of winding each other up they all do it.

PollyPerky · 27/01/2016 22:23

As a current teacher in secondary schools, this is not normal behaviour
.
Itchy- you really do need to get out more.

Are you saying that boys having sexual fantasies about older women is abnormal?

Or that sending a silly note to a mate saying his mum has nice breasts is really abnormal? It was a joke , a wind-up, and to get all upset over it is just ridiculous.

These are 14 year old boys. This is what they do.

Do you actually work in a co-ed senior school? You must go around with your eyes and ears shut if this kind of thing horrifies you.

Wineandchovolateneededasap · 27/01/2016 22:28

Wow I'm not sure it's sexual harassment I feel thats a bit OTT. The note wasn't hand posted to her it was in her sons jacket clearly "your mum" banter, don't think it's anything to worry about wasn't intended for mums viewing.

Latindancingofficewitch · 27/01/2016 22:55

Wow didn't expect this to get so much attention. If you actually read what I said I said I don't know whether to be flattered, or not let him have friends round. I never actually said I was flattered ffs. I was trying to make light of it and tbh after some of the comments wish I'd never posted now. It's not like I'm some perv getting a thrill over teen boys ogling my tits. My son doesn't know who did it and didn't know it was there. Why should I have a word with him?? He gets his x box removed for not making his bed and leaving clothes hangers on the floor ... punishing him for a random school friend being a twat is a bit harsh and as for the DNA comment Hmm

Latindancingofficewitch · 27/01/2016 23:11

Troll indeed!!! No, just work too much and didn't see how many people had replied.

Ambroxide · 27/01/2016 23:15

So, erm, what, you changed your name for this? Really? You thought it was OK and needed to change your name? I don't get it.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 23:34

Boring conversation anyway

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]
Johnny5isAlive · 28/01/2016 00:26

ambroxide I suspect the OP just has multiple user names, like loads of posters do. Not that she name changed specifically for this post

Hihohoho1 · 28/01/2016 00:30

itchy

Really where on early do you work? With the Armish?

This is absolutely typical teenage boy/girl behaviour and those teens would be very embaressed if caught out by am adult.

allthatnonsence

Good name. Don't be so ridiculous. Do you actually have teenage boys? Do you know any? My teens and their various friends may well have don't this. Not all in their 20s and have great jobs/partners and in some cases they are dads. All fantastic adults.

Here have a grip!

SalemSaberhagen · 28/01/2016 01:15

Hiho the note was written on the washing label. It was meant to be seen by OP.

Kellz92 · 28/01/2016 13:55

Ambroxide Didnt say it wasnt horrid, but thats just what im used to from when i was at school. I dont see why they did it. I wouldnt say anything about my friends parents, but like i said its just what im used to

Kellz92 · 28/01/2016 13:57

Ah , just seen it was written on the washing label, thats different if they intended on her seeing it. I thought it was on paper and wasnt supposed to be seen by the OP. thats why i thought it was funny, because they got caught

captainfarrell · 28/01/2016 14:48

Oh for heaven's sake lighten up people! Whats new? Teenage boys are randy and full of hormones, some can't contain their immature feelings and do silly things. Sex is part of life, a healthy attraction to others of the opposite or same sex is normal. I would have laughed, it doesn't need to be over thought. It doesn't need a thread about the objectification of women.

Blueprintorange · 28/01/2016 17:07

So st what age does it become objectification? 16? 17? 18?

This kind of behaviour needs nipping in the bud before grown men think it's ok or objectify women.

Blueprintorange · 28/01/2016 17:07

*to

batshitlady · 28/01/2016 17:08

Yes sit him down and tell him everything sykadelic wrote. He can tell his mates that and that should stop it.

PageStillNotFound404 · 29/01/2016 05:44

All this "it's normal" stuff...yes, that's exactly the fucking problem!

Yes, it's normal for teenagers to have too many hormones sloshing around to handle. Yes, it's normal for teenagers to find cock drawings funny and to snigger over them. All fine, no one is saying otherwise.

Unfortunately it's also depressingly "normal" for women and girls to have to fend off, put up with or learn to deal with unsolicited sexual comments like "nice tits luv". Where did this teenage boy learn that this was an "appropriate" (in quotes, for those who don't get it, to indicate that I don't think it actually is appropriate) thing to say about a woman that he may or may not find sexually attractive? From the everyday objectifying sexism that's all around us.

Yes, it's "normal". And that depresses the fuck out of me.