I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]

[ruthie667]

Not sure whether to take this as a compliment and laugh it off ... or never let him have friends over again lol!!!

[nooka]

Nodowntime are you really suggesting that those of us who are bringing up our sons with the idea that women should be treated with respect are going to end up with boys who think they are girls?

Or do you think that 'real' men should be oafish and offensive, and 'real' women should love it?

If so I'll gladly opt to be not real at all (and happily bring my dd up to not find 'nice tits' a great chat up line, and my ds to be at least a little more sophisticated)

[differentnameforthis]

I do think this country and some of the modern Western world has far less of a problem with objectification of women than with men who lost biological clear vision of what it is to be a man, and who are gender confused. Really? You think that objectifying women is less of a problem than men who don't know who they are? Tell me, is that women's fault, because we refuse to be objectified?

[differentnameforthis]

Disappointing when the people you want to argue with aren't capable of putting together a coherent sentence, innit.

Just because you are unable to read a post without making a sarcastic remark, doesn't mean that post is incoherent.

[differentnameforthis]

I love all this insistence that "they will grow out of it" when clearly, lots of adult woman on this clearly haven't grown out of it...

the sheer amount of patronising hissing and downright horribleness from fellow women who feel being all offended gives them the right to be rude and mean. And you don't think that being told you are boring is rude & mean & patronising & horrible?? Mostly, those who have disagreed with it have been polite, if not firm in their disapproval, those who think it is "funny etc" have been the rudest, imo!

Bertrand, lighten up!
Boring Bertrand cant take the excitement anymore
There's a but [sic] of pearl clutching here
I have learned never be smug (insinuating that those who said their son's would not do this are smug)
I think it's probably cultural differences, all this protestantism, a whiff of Cromwell on the thread
God some people are humourless!!
though I can see thankfully there's plenty of posters who have common sense and sense of humour still intact. Insinuation that if you don't find this funny, you are humourless & lack common sense.
The vipers might choke on their righteous venom on hearing this, worth a shot.

Well done for proving my point.

Just a few posts where those who have different opinions have been refereed to rather rudely/horribly with posters being mean & rude...

did really no one say that no further measured discussion was possible without a picture of said boobs? So your dh insinuated that op should take a picture of her breasts to "settle the discussion" and you think "they grow out of it"?

[BertrandRussell]

Oh, no! Now we're ganging up, bullying and forming a clique.............

[Sallystyle]

You caught me Bert

[Bexster93]

haha

[BertrandRussell]

Don't lie, U2 - you haven't got a husband!

[Sallystyle]

How is a potential future partner(not talking about the boy any more) to show any delight or admiration of your body, when it is likely to be perceived as objectification, or the fact that someone thinks you have nice physique obviously in some heads translates into they don't appreciate anything else about you.



You don't really understand this issue do you? Fair enough if you don't agree, but I don't think you actually have any grasp on what objectifying is or what anyone else is actually talking about.

BTW my husband agrees with me

[BertrandRussell]

"How is a potential future partner(not talking about the boy any more) to show any delight or admiration of your body, when it is likely to be perceived as objectification, or the fact that someone thinks you have nice physique obviously in some heads translates into they don't appreciate anything else about you."

That's not what objectification means. But hey ho, why let the truth get in the way of a good rant. As you say, your husband agrees with you. You must be right then! . As I am sure you know, we feminists are all too ugly and hairy to be shaggable. We're only on this thread because we wish people would say we had nice tits- we're jealous, you see,

[Nodowntime]

The boy didn't abuse the OP, but she did get abused on this thread in my opinion, the sheer amount of patronising hissing and downright horribleness from fellow women who feel being all offended gives them the right to be rude and mean.
Makes me lose my faith in womankind a little, though I can see thankfully there's plenty of posters who have common sense and sense of humour still intact.

Can't be bothered to acknowledge aggressive posts, life is too short. Is there no 'ignore poster' option on this forum?

I do think this country and some of the modern Western world has far less of a problem with objectification of women than with men who lost biological clear vision of what it is to be a man, and who are gender confused.

How is a potential future partner(not talking about the boy any more) to show any delight or admiration of your body, when it is likely to be perceived as objectification, or the fact that someone thinks you have nice physique obviously in some heads translates into they don't appreciate anything else about you.

Anyway, wasting my time here probably, better PM the OP to tell her to take that picture down.

Btw, OP, my husband also found it funny, I told him today. Actually the first thing he said- did really no one say that no further measured discussion was possible without a picture of said boobs? And urged me to post it, to which I replied that if I did, I'd be eaten alive, but now I don't care, might as well throw it out here. The vipers might choke on their righteous venom on hearing this, worth a shot.

[batshitlady]

I'd laugh as well if I got a note like this - then I'd toss it in the bin, whilst shaking my head in despair.

Then I'd get onto the school and pressure them to sit all these boys down and give them a good talking to about how offended I am. This will doubtless arrest the competitive male ego and stop then getting together from doing idiotic, vulgar things like this...No doubt they'll all stop looking at porn and wanking too?

No doubt they'll all grow up to be lecherous, disrespectful, knicker sniffing misogynists if nothing's done?

[Sallystyle]

Did the nervous patrolling committee scare away all the sexually healthy people with sense of humour off this thread?

Are you for real? So people who don't think this is funny aren't sexually healthy?

And you don't need to nip it in the bud, or call the school!! (what else? to call the police maybe?). Next thing you'd start punishing toddlers for having an erection.

This is probably the stupidest thing I've read on MN.



Now I understand why quite a few English men are either sexually repressed, or have a completely fake persona when round their parents, esp. mothers, and a whole crazy other life, which their parents would never know about it.

Huh?

Actually, your whole post is one of the most stupidest I've ever read on MN.

My neighbour thought it was ok to send me drawing pictures of his cock, with messages about my body and how I make him want to ejaculate in his pants when he looks at me. I was 13, he was 15 ish. I guess he was just being a hormonal boy though and thought it was funny while I was petrified and felt violated. He didn't grow out of it though, it started of with just cock drawings, it soon became much worse. If someone had told him how objectifying it was at the start it wouldn't have escalated, who knows.

This isn't just a feminist issue, it's a respect issue. It is disrespectful to draw a jizzing cock with 'nice tits' knowing the mum would read it at some point.

That is not normal behaviour in my eyes. Drawing cocks on notebooks? Maybe. Drawing a cock on your friends washing label with the message 'nice tits' knowing she would see it is not normal. It doesn't mean he won't grow up and grow out of it but yes, it needs nipping in the bud.

[BertrandRussell]

Can you hear that whooshing noise? It's the point zooming past your left ear...........

[Nodowntime]

What batshitlady said.

And you don't need to nip it in the bud, or call the school!! (what else? to call the police maybe?). Next thing you'd start punishing toddlers for having an erection.
I know lots of teenage boys, who I imagine got up to this puerile sort of thing at 14ish, and nobody had to personally give them an earful or a lecture about the objectification of women, they have eyes and ears and at the point of doing it they know it's naughty and silly! That's why he didn't sign his name...he couldn't contain his crush (lol. and I'm not gonna be apologetic about giggling over it) but it's not like he wanted to be found out. It's not something he will be proud of if it's discovered when he is older, but

Getting horrified by is a massive overreaction.

Now I understand why quite a few English men are either sexually repressed, or have a completely fake persona when round their parents, esp. mothers, and a whole crazy other life, which their parents would never know about it.
And why Shades of Grey is so popular (haven't read it, but know the premise of it)

Did the nervous patrolling committee scare away all the sexually healthy people with sense of humour off this thread? :(

People went quiet because they are scared of being accused of being anti-feminists. I have more daughters than sons and think of myself as feminist, but I can see how feminism can get a bad name with all the standers on high ground here pouncing on the OP ready to tear her to pieces for being 'coy' or daring to find the note funny. :(

[caitlinohara]

batshitlady Do you think teenage boys just miraculously mature then? Without anyone modelling acceptable behaviour or calling them out when they behave like idiots? Do you not think that adults (men and women) have a role to play in this, or shall we all just giggle at their antics and leave it up to them to deduce what's ok and what isn't and then get pissed off with them when as adult men they are still confused?

[BertrandRussell]

"So you believe it's reasonable to hold adolescent boys to the same standard we have for adults?"

Nope. But I do think it's reasonable to hold women on here to the same standards that I have for adults......

[TheRightThingToDo]

Yeah, all the boys in my secondary school went on about their friends Mums.
It was a standing joke for about 3 years.

Weird teenage boys but they are all normal 30 odd year olds with nice families and good jobs.

Teenage boys are 'orrible - makes me chortle though

[batshitlady]

I'm explaining how I see them .. So you believe it's reasonable to hold adolescent boys to the same standard we have for adults?

Ok then, let's fight the good fight and iron this behaviour out of them. Re-education summer camps might be an idea?

[BertrandRussell]

Thank you, differentname! I will add "boring" to the list of minimising language. Along with "can't you take a joke" and all the rest. So much easier to do that than to actually think!!

[BertrandRussell]

"Plus they're, generally speaking, ignorant, insensitive and unsubtle. They urge each other on to do silly, boorish things and no one wants to be 'gay' and/or a 'pussy' and not comply." Poor little men- they just can't help it, can they?

[differentnameforthis]

Boring Bertrand cant take the excitement anymore. Why is anyone who doesn't like something like this boring? Bertrand is entitled to her views (which I agree with) and doesn't deserve to be called boring just because you think differently to her.

They are teenagers. They will mature. Like some of the posters ion this thread, you mean?

As a teenage girl I got some notes with "compliments" like that, if it was from someone I didn't like, it was unwanted attention (ignored it), but if it was from someone I fancied myself it would have been flattering, what's wrong with that?confused Well I for one am raising my daughter to higher ideals than "nice tits" and hope that she will set her sights on someone who likes her for her talents/personality rather than her body!

[batshitlady]

Because that's what teenage boys do when they're together, along with a lot of other stuff that you and I would probably find objectionable.

Plus they're, generally speaking, ignorant, insensitive and unsubtle. They urge each other on to do silly, boorish things and no one wants to be 'gay' and/or a 'pussy' and not comply. They have wet dreams most nights and an erection every 30 seconds, and (in the main) no outlet for it. Puerile, behaviour like this doesn't necessarily feed disrespect, fear and loathing of women. They're just the manifestation of a phase that most of them go through. Yes it's quite ugly, but no one is going to end up more embarrassed about it than they are. I really don't think it's worth getting our drawers in a knot over -- really!