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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]

275 replies

ruthie667 · 26/01/2016 23:50

Not sure whether to take this as a compliment and laugh it off ... or never let him have friends over again lol!!!

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]
OP posts:
TJEckleburg · 27/01/2016 15:30

And there isn't even anything wrong with older women being flattered at younger boys finding them attractive - a friend's son's mate tried desperately to chat me up recently, in a really quite sweet way, and I'd be lying if I didn't get a bit of an ego boost from it (and the fact they thought I was significantly younger than I am). But I wouldnt be flattered at anyone saying "nice tits" to me, (well except some of my straight female friends) because whilst my tits are lovely, I don't give a fig for the opinions of someone who sees them as the nicest or main noticeable thing about me.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 27/01/2016 15:30

When my dd was 14-17 and had parties here, the boys did used to draw penises on our kitchen blackboard, particularly when alcohol was involved. Once one of them bit the biscuits on the Christmas tree into phallic shapes, which was especially annoying.

It does seem as though boys go through a phase of finding penises very amusing, but I would not be charmed, amused, or flattered by this note: I would feel very uncomfortable, and I think I'd be having a chat with DS about why that kind of thing is so unpleasant.

It does happen, and is 'normal' in the sense that so many of them seem to go through this phase - but that doesn't make it fine or funny, IMO.

MsMims · 27/01/2016 15:51

Teenage boys reducing women down to simply 'nice tits'. I don't think it's funny or flattering, it's just grim.

caitlinohara · 27/01/2016 15:58

"obviously part of this sniggering session"? Sorry to harp on about this, but where does it say that? Did I miss something?

Owllady · 27/01/2016 16:00

I think the second most shocking thing about this thread is that your teenage son wears a coat

Floggingmolly · 27/01/2016 16:08

Well it doesn't tbf, caitlin, sorry. I'm just trying to make sense of how it ended up in op's ds's pocket Confused

green18 · 27/01/2016 16:19

HAHHAHA! Blush I bet your son is mortified!!!!

green18 · 27/01/2016 16:21

Lol owllady I take it that the note was put in your son's pocket by hos friends and he didn't know???

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 16:28

No I don't think this note is "fine" but I find the idea of demonising teenage boys problematic.

Many teenagers will engage in this sort of twatery but that doesn't mean it will continue into adulthood. Normal, well adjusted teenage boys and girls will do stuff like this. They should not be thought of a sinister future adults.

Telling them to knock it off might be a good idea but casting aspersions on the adults they may become is sinister in itself.

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/01/2016 16:29

Show it to their mums .Would love to see their faces then.

Goingtobeawesome · 27/01/2016 16:30

Furiosa - it means what I said. I'd be checking his DNA as it wouldn't be my child. He respects women and would never do anything like this.

I'm not naive. I know my child and his mates. All very decent boys.

Really offensive and plain wrong to say this is what "all" teenage boys are like.

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/01/2016 16:33

No not all teenage boys but sometimes in a group with one in particular egging them on. I 'd tell my son off if it was brought to my attention and I'm sure he'd be very embarrassed and wouldn't do it again but it's not the end of the world.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 16:33

You've really want a DNA test on your son if he wrote that note?!

You'd think it was evidence of being switched at birth?

MrsUltra · 27/01/2016 16:35

Yes obviously a complete wind-up as no teenager ever wears a coat Grin

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 16:36

Oh and if that note turned up in my son's pocket I'd demand to know who wrote it and I'd show it to his mother.

And if my son wrote that I'd make him apologise.

Goingtobeawesome · 27/01/2016 16:40

Furiosa GrinHmm.I think you've missed my point completely.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 16:43

Opps! Blush

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 16:52

I see you've changed your stance completey then furiosaHmm

No one is "demonising teenage boys" we are making the point that this behaviour shouldn't be tolerated and isn't funny, and it would do the boy a service to be pulling him on this and showing him women should be respected not objectified.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/01/2016 16:53

ROTFL Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 27/01/2016 16:55

Oh god, I thought your ds friends had written it about you. Yes in a frame on the mantle piece, ask ds if he has seen anything different about the mantle piece lately.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/01/2016 16:56

I would really give him a right bollocking.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 27/01/2016 17:00

Who is the OP Latindancing or Ruthie? I'm confused?

I'd definitely just ignore, OP. It's clearly a wind up between mates, designed to be highly inappropriate as all the best wind ups during teenage years are.

Andylion · 27/01/2016 17:02

*How would people feel if the name on the note was their teenage daughter's? Is that still funny? Or is it only funny when it's a MILF?(

My thought, exactly.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 27/01/2016 17:05

Should clarify - the reason I say ignore is that it's clearly not your son's fault and letting his mate know that not only do you go through your son's pockets but you've seen the note too could cause all kinds of hassle. Especially if he's a young teen.

I'd feel pretty uncomfortable about hosting the friend next time though. How old is he?

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 17:11

Oh for goodness sake I haven't changed my stance.

I think it's funny. I don't think it's a sign of a future women botherer. I wouldn't sit back and laugh along with them though. I'm still a parent. I just wouldn't hold it over their heads in anyway as it's very reminiscent of the sort of tasteless shit me and my friends would get up to.