to wonder what new wedding hell this is?

[VictorMeldrewsSocks]

My friend is getting married in April. She's gone back to her home country to do it. I have my 'save the date' card and have been waiting for the official invite to book the flights and hotel.

The invite arrived today. I've been invited to the wedding ceremony at 1.00 but not the formal reception afterwards. I am then invited to the evening do from 7.00 until 11.00 despite it going on to 1.00 am. Bearing in mind the flights alone will cost me over £800, aibu unreasonable to think it's a bit inconsiderate to not invite me to the whole thing. Especially as I'll be on my own stuck in a foreign town, knowing nobody and not speaking the language for the rest of the time.

But that's a side aibu. The new hell I'm wondering about is that the invite does not give any details of where the recption is taking place. The couple want to keep this secret until the day of the wedding. AIBaMiserableBastard in thinking that I'm not flying halfway round the world without first knowing whether or not it's spam sandwiches round her granny's house?

Umm, I think I would be declining the invite!

I literally hate weddings, so to add in the bullshit suprise reception would piss me off even more.

I think if they are expecting you to fly to another country, they can't expect you to hang about for hours between the ceremony and the evening, so rude!

I definitely wouldn't go, but then I don't need much of an excuse to turn down a wedding invite

New wedding hell it is.

Reply "hell, no!"

She's got a cheek expecting you to fly to another country and not inviting you to the whole day. As for the secret reception - what a crock of shite.

Don't bother going!

It sounds like hell on earth.

Invited to see them get married but not invited to eat and drink at the reception then invited to some of the evening party but not all of it, what's that all about?

I wouldn't bother in all honesty.

I wouldn't want to pay that much to find I wasn't invited to the whole event!

I'd decline.

WTF! Half invites to weddings are bad at the best of times, but abroad? She is taking the piss in a major fashion. It certainly sounds like a good way to reduce your guest list though, although it will also reduce your friendship circle at the same time. As I certinaly could not look at someone the same after pulling that shit.

So are they going to ask you to leave st 11?

I think that wins Bridezilla threads of 2016 so far. if you spoke to her would see the ridiculousness of this "invitation"? Or not?

No, no and NO again.
Spend the £800 on a holiday you really want.

It'd be a no from me too.

Sounds like a load of expensive bollocks to me.

Just say no. YANBU.

Definitely book a nice holiday instead for yourself!

Back when I still had all my own teeth there was proper wedding etiquette. I even invited my siblings to mine and don't even like them.

How rude of her. It'd be a big fat NO from me!

'Thank you for your invitation but unfortunately I am unable to attend. Please invite someone else in my place and have a lovely day.' That's all you need to say.

I've been invited to three weddings abroad in the past 20 years, where the bride has gone back home to get married. Two of them I was able to attend. On both occasions (and also for the third, which other friends went to), guests from overseas were made welcome by the whole family, invited to say with them or arrangements were made for the guests to stay together in nearby hotels and the festivities went on for longer than just the one day.

YANaMB if you don't go.

Like a pp, it doesn't take much to put me off attending a weddding, but there are ample reasons to turn this one down! Ample!

That's ridiculous! Book yourself a holiday instead and send them a goat :)

I always feel that, with weddings, the bride and groom can organise what they like. Equally I think it is fine for guests to say "Thanks but no thanks" - which is exactly what I'd be saying on this occasion.

Are you joking? That is redic.

So she's saying "spend £800 on flights to come to PART of my wedding!"

Nope.

I have no intention of going now. I'd been putting off replacing my car which is on it's last legs so I could go. But that was when I thought it would be a full invite.

Bollocks to that!