to wonder what new wedding hell this is?

[VictorMeldrewsSocks]

My friend is getting married in April. She's gone back to her home country to do it. I have my 'save the date' card and have been waiting for the official invite to book the flights and hotel.

The invite arrived today. I've been invited to the wedding ceremony at 1.00 but not the formal reception afterwards. I am then invited to the evening do from 7.00 until 11.00 despite it going on to 1.00 am. Bearing in mind the flights alone will cost me over £800, aibu unreasonable to think it's a bit inconsiderate to not invite me to the whole thing. Especially as I'll be on my own stuck in a foreign town, knowing nobody and not speaking the language for the rest of the time.

But that's a side aibu. The new hell I'm wondering about is that the invite does not give any details of where the recption is taking place. The couple want to keep this secret until the day of the wedding. AIBaMiserableBastard in thinking that I'm not flying halfway round the world without first knowing whether or not it's spam sandwiches round her granny's house?

[kali110]

What???

[Stillunexpected]

I have been thinking about this and it's just so "odd". Even if your friend had a wonderful childhood in this house, going back on her wedding day to what is essentially a completely different house is just going to be so strange. Nothing will be familiar and it could even be upsetting if the new owners have removed some features or replaced something which has happy memories for her. She is going to be in her wedding dress, sitting on a stranger's sofa, looking at their family photos in frames and doing - what? The average three-bed semi doesn't have much space for a band or a bar. How many guests are going to be crammed in here? And will no-one think of the toilet arrangements - the queue outside the bathroom is where people are going to spend most of their evening surely?!

[Wardy1993]

What a nasty piece of work. Don't bother... Spend the money on your motor and send her a card with a picture of you on the garage forecourt makes me glad I never had to go through this... Eloping to Vegas is best thing we ever did!!!

[Kryptonite]

Not read all the replies, but no way! She's having a laugh.
I'm usually all for saying "it's their wedding, they can invite who they like", but they can't seriously expect you to fly to another country, invite you to just the bit where they get married but not the reception afterwards!
So not only will you have to hang around for hours until the evening do, you have to leave at 11pm whilst the party is still in full swing?!
That's majorly ridiculous!
How's she going to police that one without being a major arse?!
"Come on, Victor, time's up, finish your wine, time for you to go now".... whilst everyone else is dancing to Abba or whatever and drinking merrily?!
Major piss taking. No way would I be forking out for flights.

[Kryptonite]

Just realised I said major about 95 times in that post.
You get my drift, lol

[stiffstink]

The groom is crackers. I feel sorry for the bride and the guests. Toilet nightmares, seating nightmares, food/refreshment nightmares.

And presumably the bride doesn't know about the capacity restrictions for the second secret venue, so does she actually know people travelling from overseas are being sent on their way at 11pm?

[FishWithABicycle]

Wow I'm glad I read through the whole thread. What an insane idea for the reception!

Glad you've got a spy in the inner circle who can give you the info so we don't need to crowdfund your flights. Please do make sure you get and post a full report after the event.

[EthelMercaptan]

That's crazy.

I am as nostalgic as anything and had an idyllic childhood in a house that I adored living in. I've even fantasised about rolling up and making the owners an offer they couldn't refuse if I won the lottery (although I think dh would have something to say about that!)

But if I was getting married and was told the reception venue was a secret, when we pulled up outside and the groom said, "Surprise!!" I don't know how I'd restrain myself from punching him in the balls.

[beeny]

Thats a really rude invite

[MaisyMooMoo]

I'd feel a little awkward getting up to leave before others, a slight walk of shame. They all look on thinking 'aww, look at her, not as popular as we are'

[Fluffy24]

I wouldn't go. But if you wanted to go and report back about the surprise reception...

[Lweji]

Maybe someone should tell the bride?