to wonder what new wedding hell this is?

[VictorMeldrewsSocks]

My friend is getting married in April. She's gone back to her home country to do it. I have my 'save the date' card and have been waiting for the official invite to book the flights and hotel.

The invite arrived today. I've been invited to the wedding ceremony at 1.00 but not the formal reception afterwards. I am then invited to the evening do from 7.00 until 11.00 despite it going on to 1.00 am. Bearing in mind the flights alone will cost me over £800, aibu unreasonable to think it's a bit inconsiderate to not invite me to the whole thing. Especially as I'll be on my own stuck in a foreign town, knowing nobody and not speaking the language for the rest of the time.

But that's a side aibu. The new hell I'm wondering about is that the invite does not give any details of where the recption is taking place. The couple want to keep this secret until the day of the wedding. AIBaMiserableBastard in thinking that I'm not flying halfway round the world without first knowing whether or not it's spam sandwiches round her granny's house?

Bloody hell, there are just no words for this!

It's very rude to exclude you from part of the wedding day when you are travelling overseas.
I have a friend getting married abroad this year and they are also keeping the venue a secret. I guess they want everyone to stay at the (expensive) venue rather than looking at other options but I find it quite annoying.

Gosh I wouldn't go. But she will no doubt be deeply offended the day won't be the same without you there blah blah (so why not invite me to the whole thing....)

I have an (ex) bridezilla friend. She refused to tell me anything about the wedding as wanted it to be a surprise like I gave a shit and then went crazy as I wasn't acting interested enough

Weddings bring out the bonkers in some people

We're going to a wedding abroad this summer which is costing us about £1000 and we can't get out of it as DP is one of the best men

I think it's a cheek to ask people to be part of your wedding party and then cough up the family holiday budget for the "honour".

I am really nosy about interested to know how the invitation was worded, OP? Did it actually say that you have to leave the evening reception at 11pm, and how do you know that it will continue until 1.00 am? How on earth would they word this without sounding appallingly rude? Well, there is no polite way to say it really, is there?, what a bridezilla! I agree with pps, don't bother to go (and don't send a gift either!)

Why don't you reply "Maybe."?

Or:
Such a shame, I was only free from 2 to 7 pm.

Our wedding was tiny (only DH family there as i have none) but the first thing on the list was EVERYONE COMES TO EVERYTHING!!!!

It would be a No from me just down to the cost of flights . Sod everything else!

I agree with ADishBestEatenCold.

What kind of wanker invites you to a wedding abroad for the ceremony but not the formal reception. Seriously.

People seem to think they have morphed into event planners who are capable of putting on breath taking 'one off' events once they are engaged. Most are utterly deluded and forget that after the actual marriage, the most important thing is that everyone feels welcome and has a nice time.

No one gives a fuck if you have an ice sculpture or those giant LOVE things on the chequerboard dance floor in yet another freezing cold marquee. Or if you plan to get married in a sandals resort in Mexico. It doesn't excite or impress the guests and more than a bit of buffet and a cheesy DJ in the village hall.

*any

I think I know the bride you are on about :O

We've been invited to a family wedding this summer. In a hot country, middle of summer, not majorly touristy so no cheap accommodation.

We thought about sucking it up and just turning it in to a family holiday. Although normally we wouldn't go in the summer holidays.
Did some slight research when the save the date cards came, then the invite arrived and it's a no child wedding.
We will have a very small (hopefully breast fed) child and a toddler.

Safe to say we've decided to save our money and book a cheaper family holiday in October as planned

Hell no. You're shelling out for flights and they're too tight to invite you to the meal? I am

I got married in the country I live in. A few folks made the effort in time and money to attend and we were really conscious of making sure they had a good time, and not left hanging
The only people who didn't attend the whole thing were my office colleagues- the ceremony was quite close to work so I told them if they fancied pitching up for the after-ceremony fizz they were welcome.

Whatever you decide to do, please can you come back and start a new thread to tell what the amazing reception idea was?

TIA!

Agree completely basin

Our aim was a simple give minute ceremony, then just food+booze+nice people=good time.

It was simple, lovely venue, no waiting around, no faff, low stress and people still tell us it was the best wedding they've been to in ages.

I have a spy on the inside. One of the groom's cousins is a very close friend of mine. She thought I'd got it wrong so we compared invites. Hers is a proper wedding invite and includes the meal and 1.00 am end, but no location. Mine is more like a paper party invite.

It's quite interesting that 2 people have picked up on the country (we're not living in the UK before you ask about the cost of the flights).

I would say, in that case, that it's a token invitation that you are not expected to accept, but the bride didn't want you to feel completely excluded. Backfired a bit, though!

Not being asked to the meal in the afternoon is bad enough, especially when they know you will be shelling out on flights and hotel. But the being turfed out of the evening do at 11, when others will be allowed to stay on til 1.00 am, (which will be very obvious) that is quite incredible!

I went to an overseas wedding. The brides parents hired a house for all the friends to stay in. We were invited to everything and ferried about by extended family.
Now that was how to make your guests welcome!!

Bloody hell, it gets worse. So it's a pretend invite then. In which case I might have to dust off my easter bonnet, complete with fluffy chicks, and go and act like a complete tit.

Did she ask for cash, Victor?! Or 'contributions' to the honeymoon as a gift in your pretend invite?