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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit my job and try for a baby

157 replies

otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:45

Insane, or perfectly logical?

If you knew you wanted a baby and then your situation at work became untenable - what would you do?

OP posts:
MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 17:47

well how does your husband/partner feel? Does he want a child? Does he want to support you both?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 14/01/2016 17:48

It depends how untenable untenable is, what's causing the untenability and what your financial situation is. Confused

What if you don't get pregnant straight away? Can you afford to be unemployed indefinitely?

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:48

I don't have a partner, so it is purely my decision, which is a good thing in a way, but obviously means it's a very big decision also.

OP posts:
NeedsAMousekatool · 14/01/2016 17:49

Don't be daft. Try for a baby by all means. Job hunt in the mean time. It could take you years and years to get pregnant.

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:49

I do have a second job I would be able to 'live off' (although at a rather scraping level)

OP posts:
NeedsAMousekatool · 14/01/2016 17:50

Just saw your update. Are you independently wealthy? If not how do you plan to support yourself and your child?

figureofspeech · 14/01/2016 17:50

How would you survive financially if you quit work while trying for a baby. It could take years or a few months, it took me 8 years, so what would you do in that time? Best to stay in your role, take the maternity pay & then quit .

3point14159265359 · 14/01/2016 17:50

How are you going to be trying for a baby? And how are you going to pay for it? And how are you going to support yourself and baby? And did you want a child before your work situation became untenable or is it just to give you an excuse to quit?

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:51

If I quit whilst pregnant, I wouldn't be entitled to enhanced maternity pay (or rather would need to pay it back) - just SMP which I would be entitled to via my second job, although I realise it's not a lot of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:51

Yes, I certainly did want a child before the untenable work situation. That was always the plan, but now I am wondering if I should give up the work and take life in a different direction for a while.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 14/01/2016 17:53

Do you earn enough in your second job to support you and a child? Could you afford childcare? They're the questions I would be asking.

MoMoTy · 14/01/2016 17:54

It comes down to how would you support yourself and the child, and for the long term?

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:56

Childcare would definitely be the tricky one to address. Although I could support myself and a child it might be very difficult to do so with childcare costs.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 14/01/2016 17:57

Then if I was in your situation I would look for a job where you could afford childcare and to live and then ttc.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 14/01/2016 17:59

Is the second job the one you can't give up for 19 months as per your other post due to your CV issues? If it isn't then quitting now won't help at all.

If your other job can't cover the costs for yourself, a child and associated childcare then how do you propose to find the difference in money you need?

Are you savings enough to cover you until you get pregnant, the costs of the fertility treatment and maternity leave plus leave some for a rainy day which is essential when it's not just yourself to consider.

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 17:59

If it was that simple, I'd do it :)

OP posts:
Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 18:02

No, it's job no 1 I felt I needed to stay in for CV reasons.

Here is how it looks to me - job no 1 is well paid but awful, and there's a new development I won't explain on here, if you don't mind.

Job no 2 is badly paid but can be done part time and is close to home and only a couple of hours at a time.

As such childcare may be possible but would be difficult.

Fertility treatment is accounted for already.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 14/01/2016 18:02

Keep working. Look for new job. Save as much as you can (good practise for the adjustment in income when on maternity leave.) and see how you feel when you do actually have a baby. It may take years and you may feel very differently when it is here. Work can be a sanctuary for many parents of small DC.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 18:02

Doesn't sound like you can afford it

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 18:04

I think I probably haven't explained very well - it looks like I have to quit my job.

With this in mind, would I be unreasonable to TTC anyway.

OP posts:
figureofspeech · 14/01/2016 18:05

Couldn't ou get pregnant, take paid maternity pay, return to work for 3-6 months and quit once you find another job. Use the last Half of your maternity leave to job hunt. Could you start to job hunt now for a better job?

Just for your information, I paid my childminder £45 daily per child. Worth investigating childcare costs before you become pregnant. Like I said above it could take you a while to get pregnant.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 14/01/2016 18:06

Then without significant savings it doesn't sound like you can afford to simply quit let alone have a child. You can't cover an adult and childs living expenses on a part time job that's just a couple of hours a day.

Maybe it's time to look at your career and find something you can settle in. A patchy CV will put future employers off. You need to work out what's going wrong that you need to keep moving jobs.

Original poster
otterlylovely · 14/01/2016 18:07

I don't keep moving jobs, Autumn

OP posts:
figureofspeech · 14/01/2016 18:09

Ah just saw your update. It's no fun being poor and a parent but it's up to you. Just have a look on the credit crunch threads, some people there are really struggling to feed their families.

RudeElf · 14/01/2016 18:09

Are you being fired or made redundant?

I still say look for new job whilst TTC.

Your Pre-DC years are likely to be your highest earning potential years. I think if you have the ability to earn you should, and save save save for those years where your bills will be high and your earning potential low.