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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed Xmas plans scuppered as DS ill

211 replies

Breadwidow · 23/12/2015 14:18

We were due to travel up to my parents for a Big family Christmas at my parents tomorrow, with my sisters Family who live locally joining us on the. DS has temp and cold symptoms. DH thinks we should probably stay at home unless he makes miraculous recovery by tomorrow (unlikely seeing as these things usually last a week or so with him). I know this is the best move, since we are travelling by train (no car) and my parents will be noisy and from excitement - not Great for sick nearly 4 year old. I'm just a bit annoyed DH cannot relate to the fact I'm disappointed - I was so looking forward to spending Christmas with my family plus we've sent all our presents there so DS will have nothing to open on Christmas day if we stay at home. Aren't I allowed to be a bit disappointed. I'm also Quite annoyed with DH or taking the kids out all day on mon and tues when DS is up in the night unwell on Sun/mon night. He did seem much better by mon morning but yesterday he was lethargic & DH Still took him to me up with a friend while I was working. Grrr, so Xmas is gonna be a damp squib. Gutted

OP posts:
Griphook · 23/12/2015 21:06

I have to say I don't understand why your dh took him to the museum! If he's so poorly Christmas needs to be changed.
I think if I was in your situation I would suggest that if dh felt ds was poorly enough that it warranted changing plans then he takes him to the walk in centre first thing, if he doesn't want to or refuses I would kind of think he was using his 'I care so much' attitude as an excuse to not want to spend time with your m and d.
I would then go on my own

Original poster
Breadwidow · 23/12/2015 21:12

I think that would make for one worried me and a bad Xmas. He's been sleeping soundly since 7, good sign? No coughing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Breadwidow · 23/12/2015 21:24

Also, DH took DS to GP today. She listened to his chest - that's all fine. Said it was upper respiratory only, prescribed anti biotics but admitted it could be viral so DH thinks (and I agree on this one) we don't give him any unless he's still ill next week.

OP posts:
WicksEnd · 23/12/2015 21:52

Give him some calpol nice and early tomorrow morning,( before DH is even up) he'll be fine, its a cold!
The cynical side of me says DH took him to the GP to get antibiotics so he had reason not to go.
Who takes their dc to a GP for a cold they've had for two days? Confused

Original poster
Breadwidow · 23/12/2015 21:58

Ha ha brilliant. DH has a v depressed attitude to it. I hust went to check on DS b4 hitting sack and DH asked how his temp was. I said normal, and he said oh that will go up again once the calpol has worn off. He may be getting better!!!! DH Is often up b4 me, will try to get up earlier. Hope DS doesn't spill beans re calpol if I do it!!

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 24/12/2015 08:15

How I'd your ds this morning?

LaContessaDiPlump · 24/12/2015 08:17

Your DH didn't want to go anyway. This is an excuse.

Original poster
Breadwidow · 24/12/2015 08:22

Not looking good - DS up in night, temp up again, coughing lots. DH looked after him as I had DD who still wakes in the night (not ill, just boob hungry poss teething toddler) and they are now both still asleep

OP posts:
Hulababy · 24/12/2015 08:27

I would want to go if possible especially as all the presents are there.
I wouldn't want my child to wake up to none of his Christmas gifts.

You know your own child; is group to the trip?

soulrebel63 · 24/12/2015 08:35

It sounds like your husband has his priorities right. Your son comes first.

Kacie123 · 24/12/2015 08:38

Hmm ... TBH given that you've all had a restless night it will probably just cause endless arguments and unnecessary stress to go now. And if he did somehow take a turn for the worse, you'd probably feel very guilty too.

Disappointing though it is at this stage, I'd wait at home and delay Christmas by one day till your folks arrive - you'll have a good rest, and probably have a better day of it all afterwards?

It still looks to me there are other issues you should tackle with DH and family, but perhaps that's another whole nightmare! Thanks

diddl · 24/12/2015 08:38

Do your tickets have a particular time on?

If not perhaps you could travel later than intended so that he would at least wake up where his presents are?

Coughing can be exhausting, I don't think yourhusband overrreacted by going to the GP.

Obviously your opinion on whether or not your son is well enough to travel is just as valid as your husband's.

It sounds as though he wants him to be completely well to travel whereas you are just hoping for well enough.

Neither is wrong.

If it was your husband's family that you were going to he might be OK with forgoing it whereas you don't want so it's easy to see why you are at cross purposes.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 24/12/2015 08:39

I would delay Christmas now. He's obviously sick.

Funinthesun15 · 24/12/2015 08:42

Obviously your opinion on whether or not your son is well enough to travel is just as valid as your husband's

Exactly this.

It is the DH that has witnessed all of the convulsions in the past and tbh in his shoes I would be cautious too.

OP thought he would be better today. Maybe because they are so what to go to family as it turns out if isn't the case.

Funinthesun15 · 24/12/2015 08:46

*sorry for typos auto correct on phone!

Original poster
Breadwidow · 24/12/2015 10:06

Update, we are not going. MIL coming here. That's ok as it means DS will still have some gifts tomorrow. Parents are coming boxing I'm going to head back to parents house with DD on Boxing Day Eve so I can see neice on her bday

OP posts:
Griphook · 24/12/2015 10:18

Hmmm, how about starting on the antibiotics so ds can start to feel better.

Twinklefuck · 24/12/2015 10:21

I'm sorry you're not able to go Hun Thanks

CurbsideProphet · 24/12/2015 10:27

I've just read the whole thread and don't understand why your DH took your DS to the GP but is choosing not to give him the antibiotics? Putting Christmas aside, a day of antibiotics and calpol could have started to make your DS feel a lot better.

Kacie123 · 24/12/2015 10:34

I get the antibiotics thing - people are increasingly resistant to them and if you can get through without them, isn't that supposed to be better for the next time you need them?

LeaLeander · 24/12/2015 10:51

Yes, better to do without antibiotics when at all possible.

StrictlyMumDancing · 24/12/2015 10:52

People don't get resistant to antibiotics. Bacteria do. And antibiotics fight particular bacteria so should never be stored in case you're ill later. Take the wrong antibiotics and you could make yourself worse.

Op, sorry ds isn't better and that you aren't going to your family. However is ds is that ill then perhaps you should revisit whether not giving the antibiotics is the right idea.

Original poster
Breadwidow · 24/12/2015 10:56

Our GP is very antibiotic happy. She prescribed them so DH asked does he have an infection or is it a virus? She said she didn't know and could well be viral, hence antibiotics may well useless. My old GP only prescribed anti biotics for things that didn't clear up on their own after 4/5 days, which is a good sign bacterial infection may have set in. NHS choices info backs up this advice. It's also much better for your gut to avoid anti biotics if you can.

OP posts:
Original poster
Breadwidow · 24/12/2015 10:59

The pharmacist didn't mix up the anti biotic so it would last a few days, I will not store for next time, just use if the bug doesn't shift.

OP posts:
Bogburglar99 · 24/12/2015 11:19

We have had delayed prescriptions of antibiotics for DS (usually when I was being particularly neurotic about the febrile convulsions). It's a recognised strategy for GPs to offer a delayed prescription and see how they go. Guess you are just doing that really. Glad you've found an answer that keeps everyone (reasonably?) happy and best of luck for outgrowing those bloody convulsions. 6 is supposed to be the upper limit and it's a great feeling when you have gone through a few feverish illnesses and it hasn't happened!