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AIBU?

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Original poster

to wonder when it became the norm to holiday without your children?

180 replies

lifeinslowmotion · 27/11/2015 17:02

It is common among the mothers that I know to go away on 'girly' holidays without their children.

I don't have an issue with it as in most of the cases the children are left with their dads and well looked after. Apart from one boy I know who has never been abroad and his mum leaves him 2+ times a year to go to the Caribbean/America without him. She will also leave him with anyone that will have him but that's another thread altogether.

Just wondering when it became a thing? It's not something my own mother or friends mothers did when we were growing up. Not something I could imagine doing myself either although my children are very small so who knows I may change my view when they are older and more independent.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/11/2015 17:06

At least 16 years ago, as that is when I first did it.

PrimalLass · 27/11/2015 17:06

In most of the Enid Blyton books.

JeanSeberg · 27/11/2015 17:07

20 years and counting here.

Pseudo341 · 27/11/2015 17:09

Not so long ago it was considered shocking that a woman would let someone else care for her children in order to go to work. Times change, apparently men can look after kids on their own for a while these days. I don't know when it became a thing, but women's lib has come a long way.

DH has had a couple of weekends away with visiting a friend abroad since we had kids, I will eventually get around to going away myself.

Gunpowder · 27/11/2015 17:10

Meh. My parents did this, prob every other year when we were little. We quite liked it because we got good presents and granny let us eat LOADS of sweets. DM left me for 2 weeks when I was 1 though and when she got back I was calling DGM 'mummy'. Think she was a bit Sad at that and future trips were limited to a week until we were all 10+.

Shakey15000 · 27/11/2015 17:10

Grin at Enid Blyton books, didn't they just!

My Mum never did it, but then again we hardly saw her anyway as she was working (1970's) but I knew of friends parents who did. So I really don't think it's a "new" thing at all.

We went to Greece for a week when DS was 2. He stayed with Nanna and Grandad and had a ball.

TheSpottedZebra · 27/11/2015 17:11

I once heard of a dad that went away without his children too Shock

CakeNinja · 27/11/2015 17:11

I do it. Have done for 10 years plus, leaving dc with dp.
My dm used to leave me and db with anyone and everyone, next door neighbours, her boss Confused , her old school friend, lots of randoms, to go off and live it up for a week in the son with her best friend. I didn't have a holiday with my dm until I was a late teen.
I wouldn't leave my dc with anyone other than dp or mil when dp and I go together.

However, I understand my mums reasons. I wouldn't be too quick to judge.

BatonRouge · 27/11/2015 17:11

Shock news! Parents are seperate from their children.

I'm fortunate to be able to have a couple of hols a year. Some of those sans infants.

SallyStarbuck · 27/11/2015 17:11

Nowadays I think more holidays in general are the norm. So before they had children, a couple might have gone on 2 holidays and a few weekend breaks every year. That's not something my parents did, but it was something most of my friends did.

That must carry over when you have children - your natural inclination to having a few breaks away every year.

As for not taking the kids... Pretty common amongst my friends who are parents. Most aim for at least one weekend a year just them and their OH, especially if they have family who the kids see regularly and are comfortable with.

BoboChic · 27/11/2015 17:12

My parents did this when I was 2 - i.e. nearly 50 years ago! I stayed with my aunt (mother's sister), uncle and cousins and nearly drowned, ate a lot of salami and generally did just fine!

JeanSeberg · 27/11/2015 17:13

I once heard of a dad that went away without his children too

That's fine though, it's just the female parents who mustn't do it.

lostInTheWash · 27/11/2015 17:13

IL were doing this 30 years ago leaving DH as a child with older not very interested in him relatives.

Which IMO makes it more odd that they spent last few years gate crashing out annual holiday with DC.

WhetherOrNot · 27/11/2015 17:15

At birth - when they cut the umbilical cord (although I think some mothers just invent another one!).

Original poster
lifeinslowmotion · 27/11/2015 17:15

Grin zebra

OP posts:
Whoknewitcouldbeso · 27/11/2015 17:15

I would do it in a heart beat if I had someone who would care for DS and not be pissed off Grin

SiegeofEnnis · 27/11/2015 17:17

How tolerant of you not to have a problem with women going on holiday without their children. Are your friends happy to share in detail exactly how well looked after their offspring are in order for you to give your approval for their holidays? Do you sit there like a high court judge pondering your verdict or something? Grin before you give the thumbs up and they heave a sigh of relief and go off to pack their bikinis?

rookiemere · 27/11/2015 17:17

My mum never did it.

I've done it once a year since DS was little. I love skiing and it's much cheaper and in my mind when DS was younger better for him to leave him at home with DH for a long weekend than bring him with us then stick him in a crèche whilst we went off and enjoyed ourselves.

It's good for DH as well who is less hands on with day to day childcare responsibilities to spend time on his own with DS.

We've also done a couple of short breaks whilst he's on school trips or away with cubs. Things he would hate like Venice, which was fab.

I think it's since women have a bit of financial independence, I can't see what's wrong with it provided the DC is cared for appropriately and it's not every weekend.

BollocksToThat1 · 27/11/2015 17:18

Love in the famous five Enid Blyghton has the mother saying Daddy wants us to go away together do we thought it would be fun if you went away too

Them thru hire 2 caravans, as you do, for kids aged around 13//14. Love it.

Well op me and dh have never been away without our kids but we spread them over years so oldest married now and baby 16. Still that's because I am a serial worrier and totally my issue.

Good luck to those who do. Bet the kids have a marvellous time with gran. Grin don't be a judgy pants.

lostInTheWash · 27/11/2015 17:18

If we could do annual family holiday and a quick one as a couple with some childcare DC were happy with - I think we would -just isn't possible for us.

Original poster
lifeinslowmotion · 27/11/2015 17:19

I'm not judging.. more pondering.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeinslowmotion · 27/11/2015 17:21

I quite like the idea of a weekend away with no children but it's difficult for practical reasons.

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 27/11/2015 17:32

My parents went away twice a year for the weekend from when I was about 8 - I'm 41 now - so 33 years ago. We also used to go and spend the odd week away in the summer with my aunt without my parents. It was only about 20 miles away but she lived on a farm - very exciting to us Grin

My husband and I go away for between 3 and 4 days every year or so without the kids. My eldest is 10 and my youngest 4.

seasidesally · 27/11/2015 17:34

i havent but im a sp with no childcare

i know if i had the opportunity i still probably wouldnt but thats own issues

seasidesally · 27/11/2015 17:37

im suprised so many parents years ago went away without their dc's

in my teenage group of approx 6-8 girls i can only remember 1 parent that done this though in general there was very few that went on holidays whether it was a parent or child

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