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AIBU?

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Original poster

to wonder when it became the norm to holiday without your children?

180 replies

lifeinslowmotion · 27/11/2015 17:02

It is common among the mothers that I know to go away on 'girly' holidays without their children.

I don't have an issue with it as in most of the cases the children are left with their dads and well looked after. Apart from one boy I know who has never been abroad and his mum leaves him 2+ times a year to go to the Caribbean/America without him. She will also leave him with anyone that will have him but that's another thread altogether.

Just wondering when it became a thing? It's not something my own mother or friends mothers did when we were growing up. Not something I could imagine doing myself either although my children are very small so who knows I may change my view when they are older and more independent.

OP posts:
CheesyNachos · 27/11/2015 18:18

I once skim-read all the Famous Five books to try and see if the phrase 'lashings of ginger beer' was ever actually in them. They might be, but buggered if I could find it. They ate lots of sandwiches though.

[misses point of thread].

HamaTime · 27/11/2015 18:20

I suppose it's since holidays got cheaper and people got more disposable income. My parents went away a couple of times without us when we were teenagers (in the '80s) and they both went away separately when we were small (in the '70s) on piss ups sporting tours with their respective teams.

notafanofwinter · 27/11/2015 18:23

I'm nearly 50. My parents have always had holidays independently of each other as well as together, so have DH and I.
If you have an interest, skiing, golf, spas or whatever that your DP doesn't share it makes sense.
The DC have loved being with their GPs and I never doubted they were cared for.

kelper · 27/11/2015 18:23

Ice been on quite a few without my ds, mainly because he was too young to travel long distances for a short time (a week to Asia, a week to America for a relatives wake) but now he's a bit older I've found myself going away with ds and not dh! Maybe dh and I should go somewhere alone to even it up ;)

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 27/11/2015 18:24

I'm quite partial to Bill Smugs too!

I think it became a thing when wages got so low that your average household couldn't survive on just one income, so many parents both work full-time on top of caring for their kids every waking non-work moment, and trying to do the housework as well. So we are all FUCKING KNACKERED and need a little kid-free peace. I may be projecting here just slightly

Moln · 27/11/2015 18:26

Some mothers want to, can and do go away without their children. This has always happened. The end.

Aliceinwonderlust · 27/11/2015 18:28

My parents did this too

HerRoyalNotness · 27/11/2015 18:29

I'm in the Caymans right now, alone I needed a break. H has them occasionally and he used to travel a lot for work

would have loved the whole family well maybe the DC to come with me, but it wouldn't be the relaxing time it is. I'm napping every day, sleeping late, swimming, going out till the wee hours. Makes me realise how much of myself I have lost over the last 12years.

My parents went off to Oz in the late 70s to visit an aunt. I guess they couldn't afford to take us with them. we stayed with a teacher from school Shock who was a family friend. I still remember trying to escape out the window and breaking a little shell ornament they had.

WilliamShatnersPants · 27/11/2015 18:29

Weekends away with kids left with the other parent? Zero problem. I try to go on one at least once a year - including the occasional work jolly too.

Weekends away with the other parent, kids left behind with a grandparent or similar - again, great! Parents need downtime too.

Trips abroad for 3 weeks gallivanting around whilst leaving your young preschoolers to be passed around a series of friends / family, well that I do raise an eyebrow too. I'm looking at you work colleague.... Especially when the trip is for a family reunion / party and the kids are part of that family!

Oakmaiden · 27/11/2015 18:31

My Mum did when I was about 8. So over 30 years ago.

I am going to Venice next week without my children. Squeeee!

Moln · 27/11/2015 18:32

Actually it's not really the end. I wanted to add I read a story about the famous five as grown ups.

Julian was a complete tosser and not a very nice husband and refused to acknowledge that George has transitioned to a man and was married (and a dog breeder natch).

Branleuse · 27/11/2015 18:33

my mum went away without me every summer. I would go and stay with my dad and nana, and she would go off galavanting round france or italy or america with her partner.

Its really important for me to have breaks without the children and feel really lucky that my mum now keeps the kids while me and dp go away every now and then

itsmeohlord · 27/11/2015 18:35

My DP and I had a week away every year without the kids from when they were small. My parents came down and looked after them - they lived 250 miles away so did the year's babysitting in one go.

We loved that week on our own, and the kids had a lovely time too.

We did take the kids on holidays, but holidays with small children are NOT a holiday for the parents in the true sense.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/11/2015 18:38

William what's wrong about your work colleague passing her preschoolers around friends/family to stay?! If the kids and friends and family are happy with it then that's fine!

Also depending on family reunion etc if the preschoolers would get tired by the flight, travelling, seeing lots of family members then just maybe the mother thought "it'll be kinder to leave the preschoolers in a familiar environment with people who know and love them rather than to subject them to a journey, and being passed round like performing sealions to their various extended family". Hmm

SuperFlyHigh · 27/11/2015 18:39

Also depends if reunion in this country, still tiring to travel there etc for preschoolers. Add on they may be on tail end of toddler years etc and in time mum would prefer peace and quiet for once...

waitingforgodot · 27/11/2015 18:43

I do it regularly! I thoroughly recommend it!

MimsyBorogroves · 27/11/2015 18:44

I've never done it.

Why?

No money for holidays. Sigh. I'm jealous, not judgy.

dippydeedoo · 27/11/2015 18:47

I went on my first holiday abroad this year and left my youngest ds aged 15 with his older brother Aged 22.... had a fab time (was really reluctant initially to go but my partner and friends and sons insisted) came back to find 15 year old running the house washing clothes and tidying up whilst eldest ds worked.

rosy71 · 27/11/2015 18:51

I have never been away without the children. I am always so tired in the term time & want to spend time with them in the holidays. Dp once went to Budapest with some friends though.

My parents never went away without us either, although my dad did a lot of weekends away walking & camping with friends. Confused

AnonymousBird · 27/11/2015 19:08

The thread title makes it sound like people ONLY holiday without their children. A few days away with DH/DP/Mate or mates isn't that unusual, and most of those people will also have some kind of break or holiday with their children as well I imagine.

A friend has suggested a girls ski trip and do you know what? I just don't really fancy going away without DH or DC because I never have. The idea of it may seem great, but not sure if the reality will be (no reflection on mates by the way as I love them to bits!). Strikes me that it all tends to be a bit rushed and short, though it does mean you can travel off peak so presumably could be quite a cheap get away!

WilliamShatnersPants · 27/11/2015 19:13

@superfly - if it was anyone else I'm sure I wouldn't even bat an eyelid. She rubs me up the wrong way though and this was just the latest in a long line of similar.

She was back at work weeks after having both her kids, and then her social media posts are a never ending succession of posts / photos of her out boozing and her kids at someone else's house. Even when they were tiny babies.

I know I must sound bitter or something, but it's almost like she doesn't want to be with her kids at all! I'm sure that's actually the complete opposite, but social media appearances do count for something.

MummyPig24 · 27/11/2015 19:18

Some of my friends holiday without their children. We haven't done it ourselves as it's not something we are interested in doing. I wouldn't mind a night away though!

00100001 · 27/11/2015 19:18

I find it odd, but I'm not used to it.
I also find it weird that couples go on separate holidays.

Philoslothy · 27/11/2015 19:21

We have weekends away without our children every few months, we also have a bigger holiday without them. Sometimes I take the children away without DH. Sometimes the older ones go away on their own and we also have a few holidays together a year. There really is nothing sad about it.

Very few parents would exclusively go away without their children.

Philoslothy · 27/11/2015 19:23

I have been away for short breaks or even holidays with friends either with the children or on my own. I can't see what is odd. When I was teaching I had long holidays to fill and my DH didn't. Now I am a SAHP so have even more flexibility that he doesn't