to wonder when it became the norm to holiday without your children?

[lifeinslowmotion]

It is common among the mothers that I know to go away on 'girly' holidays without their children.

I don't have an issue with it as in most of the cases the children are left with their dads and well looked after. Apart from one boy I know who has never been abroad and his mum leaves him 2+ times a year to go to the Caribbean/America without him. She will also leave him with anyone that will have him but that's another thread altogether.

Just wondering when it became a thing? It's not something my own mother or friends mothers did when we were growing up. Not something I could imagine doing myself either although my children are very small so who knows I may change my view when they are older and more independent.

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them. My eldest is 21 - in all that time me and H have been away just one night together, leaving DC with their Nan. Apart from hospital stays I have not, and could not choose to go away without DC, even though the youngest are now teenagers. It's just part of being a family to me, likewise though I could never go away without my dogs :)

It's called

'Different people like different things hence someone who is not you might do something you choose not to do'

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them.

I can only speak for myself, but I am definitely one of those mothers with children-accessories rather than a 'family'. I think the same is probably true for a lot of the mothers on this thread, philoslothy for one.

NoelHeadbands wins the internet today

genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them.

So is the problem leaving them on their own - or with family - or is the problem that you are having fun. It seems to be the latter which seems a very puritanical attitude.

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them.

I had dc because i wanted to dress them up in funny animal costumes. And in the future I will teach them to make me cups of tea. And..... No. That's it really.

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them

I genuinely cannot understand how people don't understand that people are all different. What a condescending post - I had children because of many reasons - and I alsol value a coupes of days a year - 2/365 without them.

Have a

I feel sorry for your children, apocalypse.

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then want to leave them at home while they go off to have fun without them

I genuinely cannot understand why people choose to have children then let the said children leave their parents at home while they go off to have fun without them on school trips or scout camps etc.

Well I, am many things to different people.
I am me to me, a partner to my partner and a mother to my child. For me to succeed in being my rounded self, I do things for each of those roles. A holiday/time apart from my child fulfills making me and my partner happy. The rest of the time I strive to make my child happy. The fact I may not see him for any length of time does not harm him whatsoever. He is spending time with other people that love and care for him. And I very much think will go a long way in making him a rounded individual also

Oh god the uptight I am the ultimate Mummy brigade are here...still thank god they exist to let us all know EXACTLY how it should be done

I occasionally go away without ds - the longest was 3 nights to visit a friend in Germany with DH. I've also been away with my mum for 2 nights at a time.

He on the other hand has been on school trips, cub and scout camps and stayed with his grandmother without me for up to a week.

And cs Lewis!

Seems a bit rum of no holiday money left for family hols but maybe they go in UK.
Even then not something worth judging IMO.

I think apocalypse is joking!

I was Haydee! apart from the animal costume thing

I'm not a mother horror!

But my own DM when my DB and I were children rarely had offers of help for babysitting and holidays etc because she divorced my DF when I was 5 and cut off contact with him and the ILs for various reasons.

My DGM (DM's DM) rarely offered to have us - I think once... and my aunties etc rarely too.

My DB was quite sick with chronic asthma as a child but could have stayed with someone else, been taken away for a break etc.

In fact my DM badly needed a break as a single mum. Luckily she had a good friend who helped out with childcare very very rarely when she went on a weekend away but this was literally twice when we were under 10.

I really think you either are in one camp where you never go away without DCs (fine) or you go away throughout the year with or without your DCs (fine). As long as both sides are happy why beat the other up?!

SiencynArsecandle it must be very hard being that unintelligent that you can't understand that people parent differently to you.
I mean, it's a simple enough concept to grasp non??

What on earth is wrong with occasionally going away without your children? Young children don't really enjoy adult centred holidays, and let's face it, looking after young children whilst on holiday isn't much of a holiday for the adults.

I'm always amazed by people who think it is akin to child abuse to leave children behind when adults go on holiday. Children don't need holidays, life is one long holiday when you're a young child.

Bambam- no, no jealousy involved here. Why would I be jealous of a parent for having almost no time with their child?? What nonsense. I love my children. I chose to have them and I choose to spend my free time with them.
The masters was funded by my workplace and will enable me to progress in my career. My 9 year old daughter is eagerly awaiting the day when she can attend my graduation (not too long away now). It is aspirational for her to have a mum who hasn't stopped being educated. Hope that's ok with you.

I am at "how sad to be packed off the grandparents" brigade. I have wonderful childhood memories of the time I spent with my grandparents. They were amazing, loving people in my life. I adored my time with them and still do adore them.

"Why would I be jealous of a parent for having almost no time with their child??"

Some of us are so talented that we manage to have loads of time with our children and sneak a few days away per year.

But singsong - I spend more time with my children than you do with yours - even though I go away for breaks without them as I don't work and I'm not doing a masters degree. My heart could be breaking for your child ( and I have so much time that a managed to have more than one) but I realise how ridiculous that sounds.

Thelouise- my comment was in reference to my earlier description of parents I know who spend almost all of their time away from their children and still have a two week holiday from them each year.

I am a single parent with 5dc aged 7-17 and I'm going on holiday to Australia for a month without them.

I'm leaving them with a babysitter I've never met.

They'll have a hoot!