to wonder when it became the norm to holiday without your children?

[lifeinslowmotion]

It is common among the mothers that I know to go away on 'girly' holidays without their children.

I don't have an issue with it as in most of the cases the children are left with their dads and well looked after. Apart from one boy I know who has never been abroad and his mum leaves him 2+ times a year to go to the Caribbean/America without him. She will also leave him with anyone that will have him but that's another thread altogether.

Just wondering when it became a thing? It's not something my own mother or friends mothers did when we were growing up. Not something I could imagine doing myself either although my children are very small so who knows I may change my view when they are older and more independent.

My mum went abroad for a week with her sisters in 1973. I remember sitting on the stairs very early morning watching her getting ready to leave and feeling sad that I wouldn't see her for soooo long. Then she came and gave me a 'leaving' present that I cherished and still have.

Hasn't scarred me for life. DDad was not the best fun, but he did a good job!!

I actually died when my mum did this. True story. not true at all

I think it's more common now which is quite sad. A holiday is a luxury and should be enjoyed by all.

I don't know anyone who exclusively holidays away from their children. I know someone who goes on a holiday a year with female friends, as does her DH, and they also have family holiday.

I have gone away for long weekends with DH without our DSs since they were little babies. It's really refreshing, and for me (as a SAHM when they were small) important for us to totally relax and strengthen our relationship with lots of sex.

I think that if there are family holidays as well then where is the issue?

Can i be really honest and say that when mine were small family holidays were not very holiday-ish?

My parents often went away for short holidays (3-4 days) and left us with grandparents. This was in the 1950s. They always brought us nice gifts on their return so we did not mind in the least.

DH and I did it regularly, too. My children do it and now DH and are the grandparents doing the looking after while our children frolic.

I think the bigger question is when did people get so judgmental about things that are indicative of absolutely nothing negative. Especially about parenting. Yes there are good parents and there are bad parents. But this topic in no way indicated one or the other in itself.

OP YABU. People have to comment on everything these days.

I should mention, there were also family holidays too.

My parents did, and I have done as well. Some holidays are just not suited for children

Family holidays are great but, with kids, it really isn't 100% relaxing in my opinion. As narp mentions, great opportunity for quality time

Also possible when holidaying with other family/friends of course. Unless you're my DS who, when he was supposed to be with Nana and Grandad in their room, decided to burst into our room whilst we were DTD with a great loud "TA-DAHHH!!!"

My parents never did it with us. I think I'd feel weird going somewhere without my kids at this stage but that will probably change as they get older and more annoying

DD and her DH are going to The Caribbean in the summer while I have DGC. I'd encourage my other DC to get away for a break in the summer while I'm off to look after DGC (if they have any). It'll be their choice though, the offer will be there. I don't see anything wrong with going on holiday without DC as long as they're looked after.

In most of the Enid Blyton books

Whaaaat?! Surely the umbilical cord keeps 'em closely tethered to their mothers at all times? How do they get on the planes?

Not that Julian in the Famous Five books was ever a child. At thirteen he was already a middle-aged, balding colonial administrator with a booming voice and a commanding way with the natives. And a liking for lashings of ginger beer, the smug little git.

If I'd been his mother I'd have emigrated and not mentioned it.

I work FT and travel a bit for work and we always go on holiday with the kids even now the oldest one is quite old But if you are a SAHM then i could really understand the appeal of a few days break.

If someone trustworthy is looking after the DC and they are enjoying themselves as well why not?

Well, I'm 40 and my dad went to America to visit relatives, leaving my mum and me at home, when I was a baby, so it doesn't sound like a new thing to me.

I was going to admit that I quite fancied Julian until Siege gave a round-up of him

But I'm not going to now.

Weirdly, although my dad thought nothing of going to America without my mum and me, when I was growing up my parents didn't go out socially. I never had babysitters in my life, and they didn't go out, either separately or together.

You disturbed woman, Shakey. Though I will admit, blushing, that I had a brief thing when I was about ten for Bill Smugs, the manly man of the Jack, Lucy Ann, Philip, Dinah and Kiki the parrot series.

Yes treaclesoda but I bet your dad is probably a man. So that's allowed

Breaking news : parents aren't tied to their children.

My husband has gone on a few long week ends with friends and nobody has batted an eye lid. Hopefully I'll get round to going some day and can look forward to judgey pants being hoiked.

Erm, my parents did this when I was young. I am 39. So I think it's been a thing for a while.

I think being a mummy martyr is a newer phenomenon.

Sensible answer to your question OP - upper classes and the more monied middle classes have done it regularly. (Plus Dads have had 'golf weekends' or 'football away fixtures requiring a couple of nights away' for a few generations too.)

As for Mums going away without their DCs, it became 'the norm' when travel became relatively cheaper and more 'the norm' for lower middle class and working class people to go overseas regularly as well, coupled with it being more 'the norm' for men to cope fine with their DCs without it being just the woman's work and woman never being separated from their children for more than a few hours at most (and then only if they lined up another woman to look after them).