Is it reallly wrong to plan to have more children than bedrooms?

[Difficultchoice]

i've seen this a lot on Mn recently and people seem to be really cross when children sharing rooms is mentioned. I would love another but all our rooms are taken....more concerned about my age, time and money tbh.

So does the available space form part of other people's decisions? How important is that aspect?

I think sharing is fine, but it also depends how many children and how many bedrooms.

Equally on Mumsnet it's considered bad to have more bedrooms than people. Depends which thread you read

I loved sharing a room with my sister, and my brothers loved sharing a room with each other (most of the time!)

I can see no reason why a child has to have their very own bedroom really.

Sharing is fine. Mine share. They are happy. We have 5 children and 4 bedrooms.

This is only on MN. In the real word, plenty of children share bedrooms and survive the experience. I do think you have to maybe think ahead to how the room sharing can work/adapt as they get older as children's needs change. I think the older the child, the less play space they need, so youngest children should get the biggest room (their toys are bigger).

Age, time and money are far more relevant concerns. I think it might be less stressful if there are enough bedrooms for them not to share especially when they are teenagers, but I didn't have a bedroom to myself when I was growing up until I moved out. Didn't do me any harm :)

Well, given that they're likely to be living with you into their twenties, it does bear thinking about...

It's fine to share, I think it's preferable. As long have dc have somewhere quiet to do their homework, that's all they need.

Oh dear, we have a 2.5 bed and have just had our second child. The .5 is too small to really be a bedroom, as its 6x6 feet, so once the baby is old enough our kids will share. Poor them, how will they ever get over it?

Oh, and despite having a 4 bed house, my 2 elected to share one room for 5 years between age 5 and 10.

No of course it's not cruel. It's lifestyle choices.

Did you see the thread about the kids in Shetland who's the only child in primary? Some posters made the same type of comments.

For me, I wouldn't have more kids than bedrooms because I feel very strongly about them having their own space. Also I've always wanted only 2 so it's easy for me to say having enough bedrooms for all given that a standard family house is 3-bed! I also wanted foreign holidays and it's much easier to arrange for 2 kids because they can share the same hotel room.

But I would imagine it's much harder to have a room per child if you want 4 kids. It's not cruel as long as you have enough love and time for them, and also enough money to feed and clothe them.

Older teenagers can generally manage with quite a small room. Totally stereotyping here, but most of their stuff tends to be small (hideously expensive) gadgets, and excess clothes could be stored in someone else's room.

Isn't this a thread about a thread?

I had rooms for both my children, they chose to share for years. Sharing is fine, but just sometimes the ages and sex of the children make it problematic and not ideal. It also becomes more of a problem as they get older and need some privacy, which is when my decided to occupy their own rooms.

We had two children because once we had them our family felt complete. It had little or nothing to do with money or space.

And no, not all want to share. My 4yo does not want to share once DD2 started being mobile. She was all excited about sharing when DD1 was born. Then she saw her sister pulling everything from her shelves and climbing onto her bed. She wanted a stair gate to her room!

We have a 3 bedroom house and planning a third child next year. 2 bedrooms are considered small(ish) and the other is large. When the children are small 2 of them will be sharing depending on what sex we have (we have a boy and girl at the moment ). If when they're older they show signs if wanting their own space then we can create 2 rooms out of the large bedroom , and partner and I will have the smallest room.

My kids share, despite the fact that we have 2 'spare' rooms. Their choice.

No.

Sharing has positives too.

I think sharing is fine - I shared with my sister and most people I know had to share.

My kids have been lucky to have their own rooms but recently I moved DD2 into DS2's room as she needs to be nearer the bathroom and to help keep them warmer over winter, they love it and I wish I had done it from the start.

However it would depend on room sizes too, I once knew a family who lived in a 2 bed bungalow with 4 boys - the second bedroom had two sets of bunks and I did feel a bit sorry for them.

no. I have 3, and only 3 bedrooms

my friend has 5, and only 3 bedrooms

I am torn on this, I think children need their own space. I think the decision to share should come from them rather than be out of necessity. I think the threads referred to are very obviously how parents have had far more children than they have the space or resources to cope with.

It will work for some and not for others. Age and gender play a part too. My friend has a girl and a boy in a 2 bed flat. Girl decamped to the hallway age 14 (brother 18 months younger) and now sleeps in what is basically a cupboard. I think you'd be foolish not to even consider the possibility that they may not want to share indefinately.

Oh dear. We have 4 beds, 2 dc.

We built a big loft conversion with en suite which we have, and the dc, boy and girl teens have a large double each. The small single is a study.

Maybe I should suggest a baby to dh

I lived in a two bed house with mum, dad, two sisters, brother and cousin. My cousin slept in the living room downstairs and my younger sister and I shared a bed bunk bed, my older sister slept on a mattress on the floor and my brother slept in a cot in our room. It was awful and I hated every minute of it.

There was no privacy or space, it was chaotic and the house was teeming with crap. This is just my opinion but I could not have more children than bedrooms. We are moving to a four bed in March and we picked a four bed so that we could have the two children (fingers crossed!) we wanted. It meant that we had to leave London to find a home we could afford, but this was non-negotiable for me.