Is it reallly wrong to plan to have more children than bedrooms?

[Difficultchoice]

i've seen this a lot on Mn recently and people seem to be really cross when children sharing rooms is mentioned. I would love another but all our rooms are taken....more concerned about my age, time and money tbh.

So does the available space form part of other people's decisions? How important is that aspect?

We're currently in a 2.5 bed with 2 sons, though DS2 is still a baby and in our room.

We're in the process of moving into a 3 bed but I still want the boys to share as they are similar ages so play with the same things and hopefully they become quite close. We also want a 3rd bed for a study / spare bedroom / storage.

Obviously if it doesn't work out sharing, we will put the into different bedrooms, will reassess when teenagers.

I dream of seperate rooms or my b/g twins. Alas I am in negative equity and there's not much light at the of this 2 bed tunnel......

is this really a mumsnet view no sharing bedrooms why?

Only point I make is boys need separate rooms to girls when they reach puberty. My kids are younger than that and son hates his younger sister walking in on him changing, so by early teens at the latest I think they need separate rooms.

but whats wrong with siblings of same gender or very young kids or different genders sharing, if the bedroom is huge? Its insane to waste such a space.

My girls bedroom is the largest in the house, I don't need a master bedroom as big as that. I have 3 singles in there with lots of furniture and still room to play and add more beds.

My sons room is big enough for more singles and still have huge amounts of space for play. He has lots furniture in too.

So I have 2 bedrooms for my kids, I have another baby on the way. I will be putting this new addition in with the girls or boy depending on the gender, once he/she is older.

I have another spare room its a box room but big enough for single and theres a built in closet or I could have a small wardrobe. But for the sake of just ensuring each child has a bedroom of their own i wouldn't do that. The rooms upstairs are huge stupid to put new child in box room for this reason alone. do folks really do that??? or I could kick out father and in law take their rooms theyre bigger lol.

when I was growing up there were 7 kids in 3 bed. But that was the norm I knew lots of Asians and non Asians living like this usually in poverty too. Only 1 bathroom. my sis said the bathroom used to be outside when she as younger, thankfully I was born later lol I didn't like being in parents room when I was blimin 10 or 11. My sister was oldest so they gave her room on her own, I could have gone there with her, but I was sharing with parents and 2 brothers. I didn't mind up until 10 or 11. I didn't want to see my parents lying in same bed the thought made me sick lol. I had to really fight to get into that room I guess my mum didn't want to let me go??I wasn't a baby lol

I didn't mind sharing with my sis, that's all I needed same gender and space. I had started menstruation early and I wanted my own privacy (moody cow I was lol) .

I think sharing is fine if the rooms are big enough but in my parents family home the rooms weren't. it was typical Victorian terrace. 1 large master, 1 small double room, and 1 single room. only 1 bathroom many years later had another fitted but still wasn't enough. i recall boys going garden in desperation for pee, i thankfully had good bladder control lol.

Us kids were generally happy despite living conditions and other social issues. growing up together we didn't need many friends we always had each other. I'd say size of bedrooms more important than having 1 each. also 2 bathrooms as a minimum with kids.

I shared a room as an older teenager/young adult with my littlest sister who is 15 years younger than me. We had a great time together.

We have 3 Dc and 3 beds. Ds1(8) and ds2 (5) share a good size room, we have the other equal size room and dd (7) has the smaller room. Boys have midsleeper beds with dens underneath and tunnel tent things over the top so have privacy from each other kind of. But we also have a study and a playroom (conservatory) downstairs as well as a Lounge diner. So bedrooms are just for sleeping (and reading for ds1)

I quite happily shared a room with my brother till about 14, It was only really used for sleeping in. Homework was done at the big table in the living room and we were out of the house all the time anyway- e.g. riding bikes etc. in the summer or at after school activities during term time.

I think it depends on so many factors, like the children's personalities, access to outside space, maybe cultural expectations too (ie, my cousin in Milan never had a bedroom as his parents were in a 1 bed flat but they weren't poor)...

I can't get worked up about it, we have a larger downstairs than upstairs, a big garden, bathroom and a spare loo. I much prefer having an extra living room, a big kitchen/diner and a utility to a fourth bedroom.

I don't want my children to spend hours and hours stuck in their bedrooms on the Internet, I want them outside if it's nice (plenty of space and sheds/summer house to be a den), again if one wants some quiet time then there is always a separate living area.

Also in the back of my mind I don't want my kids ending up like DH, not leaving home until 33. The idea is that they do actually fledge the nest in early adulthood. If bedroom sharing is so god damn awful I will remind them to work hard at school, save their pennies and not fritter it on tat and work towards becoming independent young people.

Of course I wouldn't stop them from staying longer if they wanted but I'm not going to bankrupt myself to give them a bedroom each. Money better spent on pursuing extra curricular activities and life experiences.

We currently have a boy and girl in a two bed house. They share and have the master bedroom which is a very large room. There is more than enough space for two beds and floorspace to play.

We will probably move in a year or two but the most we can afford is a three bed. We are also planning a third child so either the two boys or two girls will have to share.

We will hopefully move somewhere with a second reception room/ room to extend or with a large master which can be divided into two just in case sharing becomes an issue when they are older.

DP lived in a two bed house growing up and had to share a room with four siblings

I had my own room then we moved house and half siblings moved in. For a while I shared with my parents and younger brother until they built an extension. It never bothered me in the slightest.

im jealous of all these kids with their own rooms.....ive got to share with my husband :)

Hate my kids sharing rooms and they hate sharing with each other so we now have a 4 bed.
I don't particularly like sharing with my husband but he works nights so it's not that bad
I suspect it's because I had to share with foreign exchange students (female) a lot when I was growing up. Cheers mum.

I wish I was a grand lady in the olden days. They got their own bedroom, dressing room and sitting room.
I think all the kids shared though!

Potatoface,that's what I say to dd when she moans about not having anyone to share her room with and wanting to sleep in with the boys!

Depends on the child - mainly it depends on the children you already have, at least for the next few years.

If your kids like their own space, as you mentioned, then they may resent having to share again.

I have 3 DC, DD is the eldest on the cusp of puberty and DSs are 8 and 4, but in the school holidays they all choose to sleep together in DS1's room, and they love to share on actual holidays. I don't usually let them share in term time as they need their sleep and do have their own rooms, but DS1 fell asleep in DD's room listening to stories last night and she asked to "keep him" :o and I did let her as he was already asleep.

I think room sharing full time would create fights over "destroying" each other's stuff though. Having separate, secure and distinct, spaces to keep their things would be important, as would a desk each.

I would have absolutely hated to share with my sister past the age of 7 or 8, and suspect one of us would have murdered the other before we reached 16 :o

Ask your kids how they'd feel about sharing again.

something else to consider is other play space in the house - whilst I have my 3DC sharing a room all they do is sleep in there, they have a large playroom downstairs and we have a large garden. they literally sleep in their room. I wouldn't feel ok about them sharing past toddler/pre-schooler age if they had no other space to play in at all.

I grew up in a 6 bed house, older siblings left home but I chose to still share a room and kept my bedroom as a sitting room and slept in it when I had friends staying over. The house was huge so all houses feel small to me including my own. My room had a double and single bed in it plus a two seater sofa.

It was a rather grand but bit shabby huge town house a bit like the house in Upstairs downstairs.

It was converted in to flats when my family left.

Both my DC had their own bedrooms but it's fine for DC to share

We have 3, 2ds and baby dd. The ds's share the bigger room, they hardly spend any time there except bedtime but that never goes well. Their relationship has deteriorated over the last year or so but whether thats due to no3 arriving, sharing a bedroom or their respective ages or a combination of all i dont know. We'd considered extending before to make another bedroom (dd's bedroom v small) plus downstairs space too and ds1 (10) very much wants his own space back so it may happen in the next few years.

I grew up sharing. It's really not a big deal - has to be done if you don't have loads of rooms!

I grew up in a two-bedroom house and shared a room with my two sisters. We argued like mad and blamed each other for being untidy and we all hated it.

I brought four children up in a three bedroom house so three boys had to share a fairly large room while my daughter had a little box room to herself.

We didn't like it but couldn't change our circumstances so we managed.

What a strange concept. I think children sharing a room is both lovely and desirable. We currently have 4 bedrooms and our two dds (10 and 8) share quite happily. Dd1 has started mentioning that she'd like her own room and I think the time is almost ripe for it, as she'll need her own space soon to brood and be a miserable grumpy teenager without bothering her younger sister. But for now it works well for us all. Sure they do fight occasionally but they also learn how to cooperate, share, and respect each other's needs.

Personally I think it's quite sad for a small child to sleep and play in a room by themselves.

I am a survivor of shared bedrooms! It's been a long road to recovery but I have finally got over the trauma of having to share space with my sisters!

Seriously in the real world it's not as big a deal as it is on here. We have 3 bedrooms and 2 children so currently DSD and DS both have their own room. If we have another child, that child's gender will determine who has to share, but share they will!

My two girls share although we live in a 3 bed house the box room is a playroom. We thought it was unfair for one of them to have the small room at this age. Obviously youngest was in there when she was a baby but now they share the bigger room. When they are older if they want there own room one of them can go in the box room.

I think everyone needs privacy so our kids have always had their own rooms and a good spare room where guest can hang up clothes in an empty wardrobe etc is also vital imho. I guess we are just lucky we can afford it but our house is a total dive.

If it's bad then we are evil parents. Expecting number 5 any day now and we live in a 3 bed house!
Dd(11) has her own room. Ds1(6) and ds2(3) share. Step-dd(also 6) sleeps in that room also for the one night a fortnight she stays. In fact when she stays all the kids end up having a "sleep-over" and dd joins them.
At the moment it works. I would like to let them all have separate rooms and it is something we hope to give them in 5 or so years. I don't think it does them any harm to share though. It's a very western concept separate rooms, and only a recent thing too. If you went back 50years you'd find most children shared

I think everyone needs privacy so our kids have always had their own rooms and a good spare room where guest can hang up clothes in an empty wardrobe etc is also vital imho.

Lol, my mum would have needed a six bedroom house if that was all necessary

We bought a big house and filled it with kids.
They each had own room, but it isn't necessary. Sometimes the boys shared to gain the other room as an additional lounge/playroom.