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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it reallly wrong to plan to have more children than bedrooms?

207 replies

Difficultchoice · 24/11/2015 10:18

i've seen this a lot on Mn recently and people seem to be really cross when children sharing rooms is mentioned. I would love another but all our rooms are taken....more concerned about my age, time and money tbh.

So does the available space form part of other people's decisions? How important is that aspect?

OP posts:
Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 25/11/2015 13:00

MrsMarigold a good spare room where guest can hang up clothes in an empty wardrobe etc is also vital imho - I think we have different dictionaries, that's not something I'd define as "vital" :o :o

lightgreenglass · 25/11/2015 13:04

My parents had a 4 bed house and 3 of us shared a room till we were 8-9. I have a 3 bed and until it gets made into a 4 bed my children will be sharing rooms - poor deprived children.

expatinscotland · 25/11/2015 13:05

Depends. Sharing is grand, if the children can. DS has autism and believe me, he cannot share a room with his sister. He regularly wakes in the night and is loud.

iMogster · 25/11/2015 13:09

We have a classic 1930s house, 2 doubles and a small single. We have 2 boys sharing double, and single is a study. I was thinking when they are older the study could be a quiet homework space or general quiet space. When they are older they can decide if they want separate rooms and who gets what! I must admit, if I had one of each, then I'd give them a room each, like me and and my brother had growing up.

Arsenalfan06 · 25/11/2015 13:25

I have 4dc in a 3 bed house.
Dd1 has the large single room then 3 ds share a big double room,
Plenty of room for toys etc.
I love hearing the giggles at night,
Dd wants to share with the boys too, she feels like she is missing out.
We have a garage we can make into a bedroom when the boys are teens if we need too.
Smile

UnlikelyPilgramage · 25/11/2015 13:35

I think a lot of posts are from posters with children under ten.

I think own space in teens and early adulthood becomes more important.

ZanyMobster · 25/11/2015 13:47

If the children are close in age then it doesn't really matter although I can't imagine it being ideal for a 15 Yr old child to share with a 13 Yr old of the opposite sex as you would have no privacy. I was 22 when I left home and I would have been mortified to have had to share with my 20 year old brother, now we are in our 30s I wouldn't care.

For short term whilst they are young is fine I think.

My SIL had to share with her sister who was 9 years younger until she was 16, it was horrible for her and she has vowed she will never let her children share.

LovelyFriend · 25/11/2015 14:03

Don't let MN rule your life :)

5madthings · 25/11/2015 14:05

My eldest ones are 16, 13 and almost 11. Still fine with sharing, just because you don't have a bedroom to yourself doesn't mean you don't get privacy, time to yourself and space.

ruthsmumkath · 25/11/2015 14:17

No YANBU - and FWIW I have 4 kids and a 5 bed house but still they share 2 in one bedroom 2 in the other.

maybebabybee · 25/11/2015 14:20

*I think a lot of posts are from posters with children under ten.

I think own space in teens and early adulthood becomes more important.*

Posting based on my own experience, so not true.

Veryflummoxed · 25/11/2015 14:21

I grew up in a spacious house with plenty of personal space. However if my parents had based the size of their family on the number of bedrooms half of us wouldn't be here to tell the tale.

Djelibeyb · 25/11/2015 14:28

My 2 DDs share a room. When we moved they were devastated at the thought of not sharing and my DS would sleep on their floor every night if we let him...

I don't mind them sharing at all because they are happy, the room has enough space for them both to have their own bed/desk/storage etc. DS has the box room.

We are also in a townhouse and have 2 floors of living space (The bottom floor has a lounge and middle floor has a lounge and kitchen/diner. The bedrooms are all on top floor.) so there is plenty of space in the house to spread out if anyone wants some quiet time.

To us more living space trumps big bedrooms. The extra lounge area means even if everyone wanted space 3 bedrooms and 2 lounges means all 5 of us can all have that all at once if we really wanted to.

I don't think sharing is an issue as such but I wouldn't want to put 3/4 kids in one room as I think that's too cramped. DDs used to share a tiny room and I hated that. If they are sharing I prefer the space to be bigger if possible.

It all depends on circumstances though, sometimes you have to downsize because life deals you a shit hand. By choice though I wouldn't choose more than 2 kids in a room and I would prefer a reasonable sized room for the ones sharing.

CheerfulYank · 25/11/2015 14:30

I'd rather have kids sharing a bedroom and more living space. If DH and I ever expand, I want a bigger living room and he wants another bedroom.

jollyfrenchy · 25/11/2015 14:43

I know people who choose for their kids to share even though they have another room available. Seems to work for them. My 3 kids have always had their own rooms, I grew up with my own room (had 1 brother) so it seems normal to me. If mine had shared from the start I'm sure they would be fine but having had their own rooms all their lives they would hate it if they had to start sharing now. I remind them of this when the girls suggest having another baby would be nice, as there are no more rooms in the house. This is one of the reasons I wouldn't have another - this is our forever house we're not planning on moving again. Also I do think it's tricky for older siblings to share, especially if they are boy/girl but even teenagers of the same sex could end up hating each other if they have to share.

As far as space is concerned, when I was little me and bro had a small room each, and a large spare room/play room, then when we got older and he was big on music, he had the big room for all his guitars, piano etc, and I had the little room as a study(also doubled as a spare room with sofa bed). I know we were lucky to have that extra room, my point is the way you can switch things round to suit your family's needs at that point.

maggiethemagpie · 25/11/2015 16:30

We have a four bed house, and two children. We're planning on putting them both sharing one room (they are young, 2 and 4). This is because I work from home so need one of the rooms as a study. The other room is a spare room (for when one of us can't sleep particularly if I have to get up to travel early)/storage room.

Currently the little one 'time shares' my study with me, her cot is in one corner but it's not a long term solution and she's growing too big for the cot. The bigger one is happy to share with his sister. It won't be forever, they will get to an age where it's not appropriate, but it's the best solution for now.

Snossidge · 25/11/2015 16:35

I have three kids sharing a room.

All the houses on my street are 3 beds and there are a lot of families with 3, 4, 5 kids living in them.

Ubik1 · 25/11/2015 16:37

I did at one time have three in one room.
Now we hAve two sharing.

We also live in a flat in a city. With no garden.

We are saving the child allowance for the intensive therapy they will later to come to terms with it all.

mrsjanedoe · 25/11/2015 16:50

All the houses on my street are 3 beds and there are a lot of families with 3, 4, 5 kids living in them.

I hope they're detached, I wouldn't like the be the neighbour next to such an overcrowded house!

I guess that explains why so many kids have TVs in their bedroom, it must be the only way to keep them still. It sounds horrific, my kids are so much happier running around at home and outside.

shimmershine · 25/11/2015 17:06

I live in a 2 bed with 3 mrsdoe. They are outside now with the other children. If you live in a smaller place the children have a more outdoors lifestyle.

Woodenmouse · 25/11/2015 17:10

We have a 2 bed house, I have a 2 year old and one on the way. I don't see a problem with them sharing (the baby will be in with us for a while any way). We plan to eventually move so they can have their own rooms for the teenage years buti dont see a problem for now.

Snossidge · 25/11/2015 17:10

Maybe that's why so many children play out in the street here!

shimmershine · 25/11/2015 17:21

We live in a smaller place as we are a mile from the seafront. I chose location and amenities over size.

Jw35 · 25/11/2015 18:02

I have 3 bedrooms and 2 dc. I'm pregnant with my 3rd so the 2 youngest will share

5madthings · 25/11/2015 18:10

mrsjoe what a load of crap, we are in a three bed, mid terrace. Five kids, it's not over crowded the bedrooms are good sizes, then dining room with a big table we can all fit round for meals, plus there is pc desk.in there and sideboard etc still plenty of room. Living room, with two sofas, big bookcases and a piano plus toy boxes and TV unit etc. We have a conservatory though it's just storage. Smallish garden but big enough for trampoline and climbing frame and front garden has driveway long enough for two cars. Next door to one side have four kids though only two there full time. We don't hear them and have asked they don't hear us. The other side it's a family with grown up kids one still lives at home other visits, the only noise we hear is when one has been arguing with a girlfriend? Which has only been once or twice and the mum apologised. They don't hear us, I have checked. No tvs in kids bedrooms here and we are considerate neighbours, I don't let them out early weekend mornings and shrieking/screeching type behaviour not allowed. We live in a cul De sac, it's a mix of all ages, some flats as well with elderly residents. Kids do play out in the cul De sac as it's very quiet, it's a friendly place neighbours always say hi. Even though we don't know each other well it's the type of place where you can knock on a door and ask for tea bags or whatever if you have run out, I borrowed a set of weighing scales once as mine had bust.

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