Is it reallly wrong to plan to have more children than bedrooms?

[Difficultchoice]

i've seen this a lot on Mn recently and people seem to be really cross when children sharing rooms is mentioned. I would love another but all our rooms are taken....more concerned about my age, time and money tbh.

So does the available space form part of other people's decisions? How important is that aspect?

Only a problem when posters seem to think about beds/space/rooms as an after thought and then they want advice on solving their space problem.

We have 3 bedrooms and two children. 6yrs age difference and b/g. They will share (the master bedroom) for 5 years then one will have to go in the single room and one in the 2nd double, we'll have the master back then, unless we can afford a loft conversion. Our children can't really share long term as b/g so we've had to bear this in mind when planning our family.

My sister and I shared a room until I was 12 (and my family built a loft extension). Did me no harm.

I think in an ideal world yes of course when children were a little older/teen their own bedroom would be great. But I know plenty of friends who shared until they moved out. Including a dear friend of mine who shared with her mother (so brother could have his own room) until she was 19!!!

Depends on the child! DS (5) and DD1 (7) shared until recently. They've just got their own bedrooms. DS isn't fussed either way, would probably have preferred to keep on sharing tbh, but DD is SO much happier now. They get on like a house on fire, she's just a child who really needs her own space.

We have five kid's plus one due next year.

Currently in a three bed.

Ds1 and ds2 share. Ds3 and Ds4 share and dd sleeps on a toddler bed in our room. The bedrooms are good sizes.

Once baby is here it will Co sleep as the others did until 2-3 yrs.

We have a sort of utility room, brick built, double glaze etc that we will probably turn into a room for ds1 then ds2 and ds3 will share and Ds4 and dd will share.

Or we may swop rooms with ds3 and Ds4 so they have a bigger room and dd will be in it with them for a while.

We could also look at converting the loft.

But everyone is happy, they have quiet space to study eyc, wr have a living room and separate dining room which is big enough that we have a large table we can all sit round for meals. The kitchen is a bit small but it's fine.

It would be nice if we could afford a bigger house but we would only get a four bed. As it is we are happy, kids are happy and doing well. It works for us.

The Dursleys got it right - what do you think the cupboard under the stairs is for? An instant extra room. And there's space for an owl.

Grew up 6 in a 2 bedroom flat but moved when I was a young teen I am the eldest and had my own room from then on.

DP shared until he was a late teen - despite his parents having a massive house (they had loads of kids)

Our 2 will share until the time comes they need their own rooms. They are opposite gender otherwise they'd share until one leaves home!!

Thanks for all your comments. Until a year ago we had 3 dds sharing a room, our room and DS had the other room. We've since done a ground floor extension which gives us another double room, single and bathroom so 2 dds moved to these and all happy to have their own space. Then had an unplanned pg which I sadly mc but the thought of having a 5th is now in my mind! Of course we've just resolved the bedroom issue but thought we'd work something out. I'm wondering whether it'd be unfair?

Of course it's fine. I know a few families where kids share by choice, either their choice or parents', even though there is a spare room.

This includes twins who want to sh

I grew up in a 2.5 bed house, and guess who got the 0.5 room (6ft by 5ft)? I'm still bitter about it! I was told to shut up and get over it, because my mum had not only shared a bedroom with her sister, but also a bed.

Not sure what my point is really, but just that whilst I wouldn't want my kids to necessarily share a room, I also would never want one of them to feel they were 'lesser' because they were stuck in some cell doing homework on a junior bed whilst their sibling lauded it up like a king in his massive mansion room complete with all the trappings that afforded him (TV etc.). I'd probably partition the massive room to make 2 smaller but still liveable-in rooms.

Like I say, I'm not bitter.

Sorry, who want to share and close siblings whose parents thought they would sleep better together as little ones and who now won't be parted.

You probably need one room per sex of child by a certain age though, even if you have to give up having a living room.

DS and DD share a room. Not an issue at the moment (they're almost 3 and 7 months), and it won't be an issue until they're closer to 11/9 and puberty starts to rear it's ugly head. But we have 8 years to move so I'm not worried about it. If/when we have DC3 then they'll go in with their sibling of the same sex.

I shared a room with my sister (2 years younger), and yes we had our moments, but it was largely fine until we were both at uni - it was a bit hard to go back to our parents and share a room for the long summers after getting used to having our own room in our student flats. But then I moved out permanently and crisis averted. We get on great as adults

I think it depends on age/gender of the children.

I have a 3 bed, an 18 month old DS and nearly 4 year old DS who have separate rooms. If I decided to have a baby in 15 years time and still live here, I don't think they would be happy to share a room. The older the children are the more privacy they need so would be unfair to put for example a 7 year old in with a 15 year old.

My ex lived with his mum, brother and 4 sisters in a small 3 bed. 4 sisters shared a room and they were 1,3,12,14 fuck that

I prefer mine to have a room to call their own and likely to stay that way

I think it's dependent on how well siblings get on as well as just age & gender.

My sister was truly horrible to me - waiting for my parent's to be looking the other way and then hitting me over the head, throwing things at me, pinching me etc. I used to dread getting home from school because we'd be alone for at least half an hour and she was just vile - my only refuge was being able to escape to my room.

With younger children this probably isn't as bad (although my sister started bullying me when she was about 6 and I was 9) and certainly it can be avoided with more effective parenting (My DM loved to say "oh sort it out between yourselves") But even without malicious behaviour, some kids just don't get on and it can be very difficult to have no safe space to come home to.

My take- no it's not wrong and kids sharing is fine. I liked it, actually. However, like posters upthread I'd bear in mind that if you have young children now, there's a decent chance they'll need to live with you into their 20s assuming you're willing and able to allow that. So that's also something worth considering.

I have enough rooms and my boys will share for as long as I can get away with it frankly (from January, they are separate rooms right now). They are only 4 years and 20 months though and I think they'll be company for each other.

Once they get older and need more space that's fine. But for now, it's keeps them and all their crap, in one place

I want mine to have their own rooms from 10 at the latest. We currently have 2DC and 2 bedrooms but DS1 is such a light and agitated/nightmare/sleep talking sleeper that our 18 month old is still in with us.

Depends on the ages/gender/personality of the children and whether they are happy or not IMO. I would hate not having my own room, I like my privacy. I do have a friend who shared (part time) with a step sister and didn't mind at all.

I think it's okay for children under, say, 8 to share a decent sized room. But once puberty starts then children need their privacy. And also a quiet space to study etc.

There's "sharing a room", and there's cramming in too many bodies into a too small house due to iirresponsibility.

Children who want/need their own space and don't particularly enjoy spending all their time with siblings of all ages will probably not thrive in a cramped, chaotic household.

If only I could muster up the energy to care about other people's breeding habits.

I would definitely go for it difficultchoice

No, it's not wrong, it's just how it is for many children. Mine share rooms through choice but they don't need to.

I don't think it's about having a bedroom per child, but just about planning your family based on your circumstances. If you're overcrowded (and that could mean any make up of family, not just large ones) then you need to consider moving or limiting your family size. Whining about not having enough space at the same time you announce another pregnancy is what makes people roll their eyes.

Then again I can't comment. I have one child in a six bedroom lol! And no, I don't see it as a challenge to fill them.

We have 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom for 3 people (me and 2 DC). It's fine for now, but somehow we will have to sort something else out soonish as I have a DS and DD. Can't afford to move, so who knows what we'll do...