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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take my 3 children to the theatre on Saturday? Terrorism related.

199 replies

Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:08

I know I am being U but I feel anxious about going to a major city and being confined in a theatre. I have even looked at the seating plan to see how we would get out.

OP posts:
honeyroar · 18/11/2015 22:14

No, i think it's quite ok to feel scared. It's quite ok to feel you don't want to go. However I'm sure that there will be extra security everywhere at the moment. I work for an airline out of major airports around the world. I guess I face risks too, but I worry enough in life. I can't be bothered worrying more.

I've seen a similar post on another forum and the visit is not until February and opinions are 50/50. Go with your gut feeling.

Mehitabel6 · 18/11/2015 22:16

Statistical you are far more likely to have a car crash on the way and yet you go ahead and get in the car.

lalalonglegs · 18/11/2015 22:20

I think you are being overly anxious. Your children won't thank you for missing a treat and the chances of anything happening are infinitesimally small. I live in London - a city likely to be the target of any attack - and the tiny off-chance of being caught up in terrorist action doesn't stop me doing anything. I would hate to live with that sort of fear and I would not want my children to become jumpy about doing perfectly normal and enjoyable activities.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 18/11/2015 22:23

Never mind driving the car. .You are probably at more risk as you walk down your stairs to get to the front door.

If you don't want to go, don't go. But let it be a decision you totally recognise as emotional and not rational. And own the message you'll be giving your kids.

TheLambShankRedemption · 18/11/2015 22:24

YANBU to feel how you feel.

If it was me, I would still go. Acts of terrorism could take place anywhere and you can't live your life in fear.

The world's intelligence and security services are on overdrive at the moment, maybe take some comfort and trust from that.

I hope you are able to go and enjoy yourself.

Indantherene · 18/11/2015 22:25

My mum would never let us go to London through fear of the IRA. I desperately wanted to go to the Tutankhamun exhibition but she refused.

It is natural to be scared but we can't let terrorism rule our lives.

Atenco · 18/11/2015 22:44

Mmm, I lived in Belfast during the worst part of the troubles and still didn't witness any of the incidents.

As someone said earlier it is much more dangerous to get into a car.

Original poster
Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:46

It is just that our seats are at the back and the doors are directly behind them and I can't get it out of my head that they could come through the door and we would be first in line. Sad It is also a city that has a number of arrests lately of people linked to terror plots and links to Syria.

I think it is partly just a feeling of grief still for the victims in Paris perhaps.

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 18/11/2015 22:48

IT is far more likely that the theatre has a fire and then you would be very pleased to be nearest the doors!

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 18/11/2015 22:49

If we all stop going to theatres and stay at home then the terrorists will soon catch on and bomb homes instead of theatres.

I understand your worry, especially with children, but life is for living. You are extremely unlikely to die at the hands of terrorists.

honeyroar · 18/11/2015 22:50

From what people are saying on the other forum, they're doing bag searches, enhanced security checks. It would be highly unlikely anything would happen...

Zetetic · 18/11/2015 22:51

Go and have a really lovely time. Smile

Natural to worry and think about scenarios but don't let the pond scum win.

Maybe you could ring the theatre for some reassurance?

jennieflower · 18/11/2015 22:51

I would go and think nothing of it. I don't want to minimise your fears as they're totally valid but missing out on a lovely family out would be exactly what the terrorists want, statistically you're more likely to meet an accident on the way to the theatre then suffer an attack at the venue.

Go to the theatre, and enjoy

Cuppaand2biscuits · 18/11/2015 22:52

I totally understand how you feel. I was going to go to a big event in the city centre this weekend but I can't stop the niggly feeling of the threat of a terrorist attack. I'm not going to go.

Mehitabel6 · 18/11/2015 22:52

You can't live like that. You could be walking home from school and a runaway lorry could mount the pavement and plough into you, you could have a gas explosion etc etc etc
People would be nervous wrecks if they kept thinking 'what if..........'

FaFoutis · 18/11/2015 22:56

I know what you mean OP. I have tickets for a gig and I'm scared. I will go because I think we should carry on, but if I was taking my children I probably couldn't do it.

I read today that anxious people tend to be better at surviving bad events because they have already thought ahead to the worst case scenario and are ready to act. It doesn't make life much fun thinking like this though.

Original poster
Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:56

Thanks everyone - Zetetic yes ringing the theatre is a good idea and maybe ask them what security measures they have in place.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 23:02

I just get a feeling there is another attack imminent. It's probably anxiety with back to back coverage of Paris but it's hard to shake. I don't normally feel like this after an attack, not after 7/7 or 9/11. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Themoleandcrew · 18/11/2015 23:09

Without wishing to downplay your fears, we are at no higher risk of attack now then we have been for a number of years. Yes it's been pushed to the front of our minds again but the threat has been very real for some time. But its up to you. If you really don't want to go then dont.

OvertiredandConfused · 18/11/2015 23:10

I'm going to the O2 next week and I'm really nervous. More about how my DC would feel if anything happens to me than scared for myself actually. I also work in London and absolutely hate the tube at the moment.

My DC are 12 and 14 so aware of the threats. They know I'm scared but they also know the odds and that I don't believe we can give in to terrorists. I hope I'm giving them the right messages.....

FaFoutis · 18/11/2015 23:13

Yes, me too.

It is the media, it is anxiety and for me the fact that I spent my 30s travelling round Europe to gigs. It feels very close.

Katedotness1963 · 18/11/2015 23:13

I understand how you feel. We bought our teenage sons concert tickets for Christmas, it's less than a month away. I want to stop them from going, because I'm scared, but it's not fair to make them live in fear. I feel they're going to take their lead from their dad and me and I want them to be happy.

We live in Germany and Christmas market time is starting. I worry about that. I think we'll still go though. I'm sure I'll be stressed about it but I feel we should carry on and do what we normally would.

Senpai · 18/11/2015 23:14

I live in an area very unlikely to be a target, we still had a mass shooting a couple towns away a few years ago.

It could happen anywhere, from anyone.

I grew up during 9/11 and our school was constantly getting bomb threats so maybe I'm numb to it. But, we were always on high alert and nothing ever happened.

I'd go and enjoy life while you're still alive. No day is ever guaranteed.

Indole · 18/11/2015 23:22

I have lived in London all my life. I worked in theatre for many years. I have been the lucky recipient of many bomb scares at school (IRA) but never been near enough to a bomb or attack to even hear it. I'm 47 and have never been directly affected by any kind of terrorism. If you back out, that is totally what the terrorists want.

expatinscotland · 18/11/2015 23:23

I'd still go.