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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not take my 3 children to the theatre on Saturday? Terrorism related.

199 replies

Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:08

I know I am being U but I feel anxious about going to a major city and being confined in a theatre. I have even looked at the seating plan to see how we would get out.

OP posts:
Roonerspism · 21/11/2015 13:22

I love your post psychomath!

Although am I right in saying therefore there is possibly a greater risk of being in a terrorist attack than a fatal car accident? Confused

BoffinMum · 21/11/2015 14:14

I think she was saying globally across all populations both risks are really tiny so not worth fretting about. As a comparison, the risk of dying from a general anaesthetic are in the region of 1%.

VicWillia · 21/11/2015 19:24

Dp and I were going to take my ds and his dd and ds1 to the Hyde park winter wonderland tomorrow, had tickets to the ice palace and everything.

We're not going now :( I'm out of pocket by 40 quid but I don't even care, I just can't take the children to London at the moment, I hardly slept the other night thinking what if what if what if and just couldn't go.

The children were disappointed but I told them that one of Santa's reindeer was poorly so he couldn't make it. They've bought that and we are going shopping for a Christmas tree instead.

It's sad that these evil animals have made people like me afraid to take their children to lovely places but it's the way it has to be right now.

Kacie123 · 21/11/2015 19:47

Seems a shame but if you wouldn't enjoy it that's fair enough vic. Are the tickets transferable? There might be some families who would like them - you could post them on the Christmas bargains thread? Smile

flowery · 21/11/2015 20:34

Wouldn't dream of letting them spoil our special day, and DHs birthday weekend.

We've been to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and out for a nice meal, now in a cab on our way to our hotel.

Kingfisherfree · 21/11/2015 21:00

I have had a lovely day with the children. We went to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe at The Rep in Birmingham. It was a fantastic show! We even braved the Christmas Markets for pretzels and hot chocolate! Smile

They did bags checks as we entered the theatre but everything was pretty relaxed really. ( I did check my exits tho and made note where we could escape.)

Birmingham was absolutely heaving with people enjoying themselves. TBH I was so proud of our culture and there was such a lovely atmosphere that I thought if an attack happens then as expat said we were living and enjoying life without fear and I will continue to do so with pride.

Thanks everyone and especially expat - I thought about you a lot today.

OP posts:
lalalonglegs · 21/11/2015 21:05

I'm so pleased you went.

VicWill it doesn't have to be like that. Go and enjoy yourselves.

Lovemytent · 21/11/2015 21:22

King - so pleased you ended up having a lovely time.
I really wanted to go to the German Market too earlier this week - but was so apprehensive I didn't, especially as the Queen was visiting that day too.
Ended up going to a large store instead and got into a mini panic at the checkouts as man behind me seemed to be lifting his hand to his face and mumbling into it. Of course he was just a normal chap but i elevated myself into a right state. Clearly i have seen too many bad TV shows and imagined he was communicating with someone when really we all mumble to ourselves at times (well i do any way).
Feel utterly ashamed of myself now. I let my fear overcome what could have been a lovely day out.

DrSausagedog · 21/11/2015 21:38

We are going to Brussels next weekend for the Christmas markets. I've thought long and hard about it, considered cancelling, but we are going anyway. Some may think it irresponsible, especially as the apartment we are staying in is not far from Molenbeek area, but officially the UK is just as at risk at Belgium.

I refuse to cower in fear- that's what the terrorists want.

I love your post Psychomaths. I read a similar article in a children's newspaper which made me feel better too. It stated that even if you had been in Paris on the night of the attacks, your chance of mortality was only 1 in 18,000.

alleypalley · 21/11/2015 22:31

We went to winter wonderland today, me, dh and our two dc. Tbh it didn't even occur to me not to go. We're doing stuff in town again tomorrow and won't be altering our plans.

Motheroffourdragons · 21/11/2015 22:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

bruffin · 21/11/2015 22:37

Dd went to Theatre tonight in London and the show was abandoned after about 30 minutes as the heating wasnt working and the Kings Cross Theatre is little more tgan a barn. Say there for another 30 mins in freezing conditions butbthe abandoned it in the end. She is on her way home now

expatinscotland · 21/11/2015 22:43

King, I am so pleased and proud of you! The kids had a terrific time and so did you all. Our security is on the ball, we have much heavier surveillance than other countries and much tighter gun control. Life is for living and I'm just glad you all had a great time this afternoon Smile.

bruffin, no heat in this weather?! Yikes.

BoffinMum · 21/11/2015 23:12

Glad everyone had a good time Grin

Mehitabel6 · 22/11/2015 07:33

Well done- hope it heartens others.

MumOfGorgeousness · 22/11/2015 16:22

Well done! I think you did brilliantly after much apprehension. I'm nervous of a comparably small Xmas market near us coming up soon, in two minds whether to go or not.

Queenbean · 22/11/2015 17:48

I'm back from Brussels safe and sound, had a lovely time despite the lockdown

I am very surprised at how many people are being scared in to not doing every day, normal things.

Just out of interest - those who are avoiding London / giving up theatre tickets just in case, what do you think of all the people who live in London? Do you think they should avoid it too?

Avoiding the local Tesco for fear of terror attack is pure madness

psychomath · 22/11/2015 18:22

Kacie, I typed out a really long answer to your question and then my computer crashed Sad But in summary, the risk to the average person in that area over the whole five year period would be about 1 in 54,000 (which is coincidentally almost exactly the same as the risk to a person who's in London at the same time as a terrorist attack kills 150 people there). That's if you include the countries mentioned in my previous post, as well as every country other than China where an Islamist attack has killed civilians since 2014 (if you include China it becomes more like 1 in 88,000). Obviously the risk won't be the same for everyone everywhere (you're a lot safer in rural Iceland than you are in Syria), but the UK is safer than some countries and less safe than others so as an approximation it'll do.

It's also worth noting that only a very few (~5) terrorist incidents worldwide have killed 150 or more people in the last two years - one was the Metrojet crash, and the rest were nearly all Boko Haram attacks in Nigeria where the police and military aren't as well equipped to deal with them (during one of the massacres the army ran away and then tried to lie about it even happening in the first place). Even attacks where more than 100 people are killed are relatively rare, especially if you exclude attacks by Boko Haram who aren't currently operating in the UK. So unless there's a major change in the scale of terrorist incidents everywhere, the actual risk to someone in the UK is likely to be much, much lower.

That means the average UK citizen is about 160 times more likely to die in a traffic accident (lifetime risk) than in a terrorist attack under the circumstances Kacie suggests - so that answers your question too, Rooners Smile

OP, I'm really glad you did go and that you had fun. Hopefully that'll also make it easier if you're worried about similar events in future Smile Checking where the emergency exits are is a sensible idea anyway, not even because of terrorist attacks but in case of a fire or some other unexpected event - so if anything you're probably safer now than you were two weeks ago!

DrSausagedog you are braver than me Shock but probably also more sensible Grin I'm sure the risk is still tiny, especially with all the extra security - I think I'd be more concerned about the potential closures/bad atmosphere ruining the trip. I hope you have a good time, anyway!

Kacie123 · 22/11/2015 18:43

Thank you psychomath, that's really interesting Smile (Always been rubbish at maths but interested in stats in a sad sort of way!)

Sorry the computer ate your first reply though, that's happened to me before and is the most infuriating moment!

MaidOfStars · 22/11/2015 18:53

Mackerel Something else that helps me put it into perspective is picking a random person... let's say Terry Wogan. Do you think he it's likely he'll get killed in a terrorist attack? Of course not. Is Mary Berry? No. Russell Brand? Nope. But none of them are ANY less likely to get killed than you are

LOVE THIS. I am an improving nervous flyer (can go on my own now and everything!) and I remember, while waiting for a flight in Nice airport and trying to down as much vino as possible, a minor celeb made himself known that he was getting on our flight (very sweet, chatting to all the people in the lounge).

I looked at him and thought 'You know what, David Fucking Dickinson isn't going to die in an Easyjey plane crash, so why do I somehow think I am?'. Flight was a dream!

Whatsername24 · 22/11/2015 19:51

DS#2 and myself went to David Beckham's Unicef football match which was just a matter of hours after the atrocities in Paris. It didn't cross my mind to not go, or that it may even be cancelled until we received a text 2 hours before kick off to say it was still going ahead but security would be tighter. Wednesday night saw DS#1 and myself at a concert at the local O2 Academy. We'd been looking forward to it for months and we weren't going to let terrorists spoil it for us.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider how to get out should we need to though.

flowery · 23/11/2015 09:07

"Just out of interest - those who are avoiding London / giving up theatre tickets just in case, what do you think of all the people who live in London? Do you think they should avoid it too?"

This. SIL was nervous about coming to London for our trip to the theatre on Saturday, and expressed that to me and to DH several times, seemingly forgetting that DH commutes to Kings Cross on a daily basis... Should he resign his job?!

psychomath · 24/11/2015 00:50

No worries Kacie! Stats is normally the part of maths I find it hardest to get my head around, but I've always been interested in probability and risk assessment and that sort of thing. If you're interested in how I got the numbers, it was pretty simple - I worked out the total number of deaths your scenario would cause, and divided it by the total population in all those countries. For the risk of dying in a traffic accident I took the number of UK deaths caused by traffic accidents in 2013 and divided it by the total UK deaths registered in the same year (actually I got that part a bit wrong, because I accidentally counted total deaths in England and Wales only, but not enough to make a massive difference). So the calculation was quite easy, it just took a bit of research to find the figures Smile

In defence of the people worrying about London, it's sometimes easier to reassure yourself when you experience something every day. I went on a work-related trip to Israel once, living very close to Gaza for about a month, and the almost universal reaction when I tell people is 'wasn't it quite scary?' But in fact it wasn't at all - we had to have armed bodyguards accompanying us on trips (this makes me sound much more important than I am Grin) so I suppose they considered there to be some threat, but the idea that anything would actually happen to us was laughable.

The difference I think is that when I think of Israel remember making friends and going on trips to the beach or to historical sites, whereas people who've only heard about it on the news will naturally associate it with war and politics and assume it's all like that all of the time. Likewise when I think of the tube I picture myself rammed into some smelly commuter's armpit, because that's what normally happens when I visit London, but people who don't have much cause to think about it except in the light of terrorism will be thinking of it in that context. It's why I think it is important to carry on going to the theatre and so on, because the more you do the more real happy memories you'll have to replace the scary fictions your imagination comes up with.

Hillfarmer · 24/11/2015 10:38

Love the David Fucking Dickinson story - that makes total sense Maid!

Well done OP, you conquered your fears and stood up for the joys of life.

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