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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not take my 3 children to the theatre on Saturday? Terrorism related.

199 replies

Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:08

I know I am being U but I feel anxious about going to a major city and being confined in a theatre. I have even looked at the seating plan to see how we would get out.

OP posts:
Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 11:35

I think rampaging around a major European city with Kalashnikovs shooting people seemingly at random in several location is a step up in their assault on the West. There is something frantic and brutal about the attack. It will also be easier for them to pick up some arms and set about using them than wiring up bombs. I agree Longstocking we have to accept this is the future now.Sad

OP posts:
dynevoran · 19/11/2015 11:50

I wouldn't change anything I do. But there are a couple of things I try and make sure of so in the case of any emergency I am prepared. Always have the car as full of fuel as possible, always have a bag of clothes and snacks and water in the car.

This doesn't really relate to terrorism as that's just wrong place wrong time stuff you can't control. More for weather related emergencies, or family emergencies where you need to drop everything and get somewhere fast.

Longstocking2 · 19/11/2015 11:51

I think it takes a leap of imagination to put yourself in the mind of a terrorist and for the purposes of ethical discussion, I think I can see how these men are radicalised.

I think a number of young Muslim men seek a sense of identity and are not finding it in the Western model. They are hungry to prove themselves as men maybe? To experience a sense of purpose, brotherhood, a cause, a belonging a group that makes them feel they belong in a way maybe their families may have failed to, like many Western families do too?

Obviously these Paris terrorists are brainwashed to some great extent.

But my hugely gentle pacifist son thinks that the west has not taken enough responsibility for what we have created in the Middle East in a short period of time. I just with we hadn't gone into Iraq. If we hadn't been Bush's poodle things might be bad but I can't see them being this bad.

this article shows how much you could argue we have created this monster, let alone all the different sides the west has funded and armed in the hope of backing a winner they could work with.

If we just throw up our arms we won't understand this. The recent history of terrorism in and near Ireland shows that it only makes sense in the light of deep and more honest acceptance of all our actions in history, not table thumping blame. Paris is a tragedy but we do have some responsibility for the history that caused it. I just don't feel I hear enough about that.

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 11:57

So you just never go into any city, ever? For real? Or let your guard down after Christmas? That's a helluva sorry way to live and soon enough, you won't be able to stop your kids from going wherever teh hell they want (and so many go to cities because they are fun).

tootyflooty · 19/11/2015 11:58

quite relieved it is not just me that has this on my mind constantly, I have booked car parks for the three dates we are in London in December, one of which is a theatre trip, this means no trains or tubes, although a longish drive. Although I am worried about the theatre, I am going to call them, as my daughter has been three times in the last month and no bags were searched. I'd rather queue for ages and feel safe. My 17 year old daughters view is that, if it is her time to go at the hands of a terrorist so be it, she will not put her life on hold. I would like to have the same attitude but just can't.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 19/11/2015 12:04

Kingfisher We had terrorist attacks long before Paris, as I mentioned on another thread. Bombs on the tube and bus in London on July 7 2005. As a result, our security stepped up and remains much higher than it was. But some of us are old enough to remember the IRA bombings in the 70s and 80s. And they weren't just in London. Pub bombings in Birmingham, for instance - not military targets, but people socialising.

The fact that we are an island, with far tighter gun laws than many countries, means we are actually less likely to have the gun massacre that Paris had. And GCHQ is one of the very best agencies in the world.

We're probably as "safe" in the UK as it is possible to be, to be honest. That doesn't mean it will never happen, but the likelihood of you being involved in a terrorist attack n Europe is minute. Here, it's probably minuter still.

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 12:10

So you're worried about trains and tubes, but not the car driving? There's nowt so queer as folk.

'I'd rather queue for ages and feel safe.'

Yes, because no one ever thinks of becoming a cleaner for such places and planting bombs or weapons under the seats, or doing like the Denver cinema shooter and going out the back door once inside and going to where the weapons are stashed, of setting a fire once inside, or storming the front reception area like the Sandy Hook shooter - you don't need to be searched if you've killed all the people doing the searching.

If all the bags are searched, it's safe. Hmm

NOWHERE is safe. If people want to blow something up or shoot up something, they will find a way to do it. They still do! Hello? A jet blew up last month and it's thought someone got a bomb on board.

And driving in your car is one of the riskiest things you can do.

tootyflooty · 19/11/2015 12:37

I'd love to have such a rational head on my shoulders!! Grin. Two of my car instead of train trips are due to the cost of paying peak train fares, so worked out much cheaper to drive park and walk, admittedly the theatre trip I would normally have gone by train, ( although having seen how cheap it is to park, can't believe I've not done this before!!) but I don't think it is beyond the realms of normality to be more anxious at this time, I understand the statistics, but can't help but be a little worried, just glad I'm not the only one having similar thoughts.

Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 12:42

Yes but I wouldn't have gone to Tunisia for that very reason.

This is people with guns slaughtering mainly young people on a Friday night and causing panic and fear on a unprecendedly level.

I will go the theatre, but I do worry where things are heading. I do think it is different now, things have changed and I am suprised not many other people feel the shift.

OP posts:
MackerelOfFact · 19/11/2015 12:44

I flippantly said to my family after the Tunisia attacks earlier in the year that if they ever come face-to-face with ISIS gunmen, play dead, since that's what most of the survivors had done. I think that's the only 'advice' that's needed really, and it's probably intuitive in the situation anyway.

It's important to put the Paris attacks into context, as awful as they were. Of all the people in cities on Friday, a tiny percentage were in Paris. Of all the people in Paris, a tiny percentage were at any of the locations of the attacks. Of all the people who were there, only a tiny percentage were killed.

Something else that helps me put it into perspective is picking a random person... let's say Terry Wogan. Do you think he it's likely he'll get killed in a terrorist attack? Of course not. Is Mary Berry? No. Russell Brand? Nope. But none of them are ANY less likely to get killed than you are.

Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 12:44

unprecedented

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 12:48

'Yes but I wouldn't have gone to Tunisia for that very reason.'

What reason? A Western resort known to be loaded with Westerners was the target. Any place with loads of Westerners is a target, not just in Tunisia. If you go to Tunisia and stay away from Thomas Cook places or the like, you lesson the likelihood of being a target.

I speak French and have friends in Tunisia. I wouldn't hesitate to go and visit if I had the money. And yes, take my family. It's a beautiful country.

I've gone to Honduras and Mexico with my family. The risk of being shot there is elevated quite a bit compared to the UK.

But if your number is up, it's up. If someone wants to live life afraid of their own shadow, that's their lookout, but they will still die at one point and, excepting suicide, will not get to choose the manner of their passing.

Where are things heading then? To where people assume going to the theatre means death but driving your car does not?

Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 12:56

Yes but that's not the advice in France they are telling schools to cancel trips.

OP posts:
StillDrSethHazlittMD · 19/11/2015 13:30

Kingfisher - what if they are? And what if the UK is saying schools here shouldn't go on school trips to France?

The UK isn't saying "stay away from football stadiums, pubs and theatres" here at home.

Motheroffourdragons · 19/11/2015 13:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 13:56

'Yes but that's not the advice in France they are telling schools to cancel trips.'

Yes, that's in France. Are you in France?

UhtredRagnorsson · 19/11/2015 14:02

One of the reasons the French have canceled their school trips etc is that they don't want any security operations to be hampered by the presence of large groups of kids milling around. It's not just because they think kids might be in danger it's because they just don't want their security forces hampered.

bunnie1975 · 19/11/2015 14:17

I totally understand how you feel. We are set to go to the Edinburgh Xmas fair this weekend, I am not normally paranoid about this kind of thing, but I feel very uneasy about going with the children. Its them I am worried for, which IMO is perfectly normal.

Roonerspism · 19/11/2015 14:23

I feel the same OP.

I feel this is only the beginning. I'm not changing my own behaviour but am definitely reconsidering plans with DCs.

kingfisher I too have a feeling of foreboding which I hope is just because I'm a worrier

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 19/11/2015 14:43

Not to laugh at anyone's feelings or diminish what happened this week - but it's such a great time to buy theatre tickets!! It really is. I just got two tickets to an Andrew Scott play (you may be able to tell from my name that I luffs him), whereas usually his plays sell out annoyingly fast. If there's anything you've been wanting to see, now's the time to ask about returned tickets.

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 19/11/2015 14:45

Ugh, my comment doesn't come across great actually. I was just on a bit of a high from getting the tickets. (But I do believe it will be safe, safer than usual with all the police around.)

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 19/11/2015 14:51

Moriarty now is no better a time than any other time to buy tickets. The West End and theatres in general have noticed very little, if any, difference in returns or future bookings since last Friday.

The reason this particular play has not "sold out annoyingly fast" is that it's an unknown play at an unknown theatre. Or are you really PR for the theatre or company desperately trying to drum up trade?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/11/2015 15:03

I feel the same OP. I'm going in to London tomorrow to meet some friends, and won't let them down, but I'm not going to make any more plans to go into London just now.

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 19/11/2015 15:20

I wish I was in theatre PR, but sadly not. I'd also be a pretty miserable PR to not even mention the name of the play, wouldn't I? And I'll think you'll find all the tickets are sold out now anyway. Smile

Atenco · 19/11/2015 15:53

expatinscotland

I love your post of Thu 19-Nov-15 12:48:30

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