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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not take my 3 children to the theatre on Saturday? Terrorism related.

199 replies

Kingfisherfree · 18/11/2015 22:08

I know I am being U but I feel anxious about going to a major city and being confined in a theatre. I have even looked at the seating plan to see how we would get out.

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 19/11/2015 15:58

we are going to the theatre tomorrow night and we had an email from the theatre today saying that extra security checks are in place, not to bring large bags and to come early to make sure ther eis time to get through the security.
i am still going to go.
lots of you are too youing to remember the ira in the 70s and 80s but there were always false alarms and bombs in bins and stuff. They bombed the arndale centre in manchester and a pub in birmingham.
The whole poin of terrorism is to create terror-if we all cower at home then they've bloody won.

FaFoutis · 19/11/2015 16:06

I found an IRA bomb in the shop I was working in, in Manchester. It didn't go off or I wouldn't be here now.

The IRA was not as scary as this, but maybe that is because I didn't have children then.

no73 · 19/11/2015 16:17

Off the point...but what you going to see?

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 16:25

My daughter is going to theatre in a few weeks. It's not London, but another major city. Without me, she's going with a group. I'll be in London then. I won't be there to protect her. Her sister is already dead. She died of cancer 3 and a half years ago. She was 9. I know in my heart of hearts that if I lose my surviving daughter, I will not be long in this world. I can hand on heart say that I simply cannot do what I have done the past 3 years again, I can't do this a second time. But DD2 wants to go. And if I start down the road of denying her the joys in life because of fear, then I am killing what is the essence of her, the joy she takes in life, whilst she is still alive and that is unfair and wrong. And soon enough, she will be able to go where she wants of her own volition and I will in no way be able to stop her.

She does loads of things without me there as it is - she goes to swim club, she goes to school all day, she goes to friends' homes and has sleepovers, she goes with her Scout troupe, she goes to kids' clubs and church camp in Summer, she rides in other peoples' cars. At any point in these day-to-day activities, tragedy can occur. I have friends whose children died at home, more than a few. There one minute, gone the next, sometimes in their own beds.

That's part of being a parent, that we cannot always protect them, and the air is full of flying glass.

You know what really stood out to me the night DD1 was diagnosed with cancer? How all my life, I'd worked hard to protect her from all the 'monsters' in the outside world, when all along, the real monster was inside her.

Greengardenpixie · 19/11/2015 16:27

This worried me a lot travelling on a ferry. The security is rubbish. I have another holiday planned crossing in a ferry with my family. It does worry me greatly but what can you do? Not live your life? It could happen when you are at the supermarket or shopping etc...

gymboywalton · 19/11/2015 16:32

You know what really stood out to me the night DD1 was diagnosed with cancer? How all my life, I'd worked hard to protect her from all the 'monsters' in the outside world, when all along, the real monster was inside her.

expat-this is heartbreaking

Kacie123 · 19/11/2015 16:36

Oh expat Thanks

BoffinMum · 19/11/2015 16:38

Expat, this is exactly the reason I had four. Sad (One did not make it off the production line, sadly - we can't control that any more than we can control a lot of what happens once they are born).

Longstocking2 · 19/11/2015 16:45

Expat beautiful post, thank you for sharing that and I wish you well in the future.

Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 16:57

So sorry about your dear daughter expat. Flowers And everything you say is true.

OP posts:
LimboNovember · 19/11/2015 16:59

I read today that anxious people tend to be better at surviving bad events because they have already thought ahead to the worst case scenario and are ready to act

can you link please so I can show DH as he looked at me like mad woman when I mention things like this.

OP busniess are supposed to be briefing staff, being clear where exisits are

Zetetic · 19/11/2015 17:07

expat Sad

You are doing the right thing. It must be so hard for you as well.

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 18:13

'I read today that anxious people tend to be better at surviving bad events because they have already thought ahead to the worst case scenario and are ready to act'

Bollocks. 99% of the time it's due to luck.

WiryElevator · 19/11/2015 19:07

BBC article today

"The vast majority of people will be too confused to do anything during an attack. Leach has looked at life-threatening situations around the world and has found that only 15% of people will respond in a way that helps them survive. Up to 75% will just be too bewildered by what is happening around them to react at all. The other 10% will react in ways that reduce their chances of survival and get in the way of other people, he says."

Kingfisherfree · 19/11/2015 19:35

I also heard that people in groups don't go with their instincts in the face of danger. They are slow to react and wait to see how the group behaves first. People on their own react quicker and look for solutions to a perceived threat.

OP posts:
LimboNovember · 19/11/2015 19:36

Expat Flowers

This worried me a lot travelling on a ferry. The security is rubbish. I have another holiday planned crossing in a ferry with my family

There is so much people smuggling going on and hiding in lorries. Whats to stop ISIS hiding in lorry.

This worries me too, I was heading to Dunkirk and Belgium next year on way to Holland.

I don't feel so afraid once land and can drive, what scares me is something happening on the ferry or at the ferry port. I know its silly but its being trapped.

Esp with small dc.

LimboNovember · 19/11/2015 19:38

king I can imagine that.

I suppose specifics play huge part. One couple who survived knew the two scottish girls in the cellar but this couple were by the exit and went straight out, then went back for a friends.

I would have wanted to go to exit BUT I would have assumed they had covered the exit too, and may not have gone for it...I would assume they had all exits locked down but thankfully they didnt.

LimboNovember · 19/11/2015 19:38

sorry I meant they were part of a lager group. all survied

Zetetic · 19/11/2015 19:49

www.bbc.com/future/story/20150128-how-to-survive-a-disaster

An article about this subject.

southeastastra · 19/11/2015 20:06

i have booked tickets for my ds and i to go to the theatre in london in a couple of week and he is worried about a terrorist attack. it's just so bloody sad. We are going though we won't let fear stop us. as expat said s eloquently, 'the air is full of flying glass.'

expat x

Motheroffourdragons · 19/11/2015 20:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

dementedma · 19/11/2015 20:17

Had business trip planned for London and the dcs didn't want me to go because of recent terror attacks. I went. You have to keep going regardless. Just be as alert as possible and make sure you know where the exits are if you are in buildings with large numbers.

MissTwister · 19/11/2015 20:48

I was on a tube behind one of the London bombed trains - stuck for hours, boyfriend thought I was dead etc.

I grew up in London where my school practiced bomb drills because of the IRA. I heard the Canary Wharf bomb from my house

I have never been scared or altered my life because of either of these

YABU - not because you're a bad person but because you're letting something that's not going to happen to you affect you. You don't need to tell your children what to do in a Paris type situation. Because it won't happen to you. It's less likely to happen to you than being struck by lightening - does that worry you? Do you tell your children what to do to avoid this?

You don't need to phone the theatre and ask their security procedures

Go and enjoy yourself and make happy memories for your family

expatinscotland · 19/11/2015 21:05

Don't waste your life on what might happen. It's so very short.

Hillfarmer · 19/11/2015 21:48

Agree with Miss Twister.

There are 10 million people in London. It is almost self-centred to think that it will happen to you. It won't!

Your chances of being near anything are infinitesimal... so why do this to yourself? It's not about being brave or the opposite, it's about a rational approach.

If Expat can manage to rationalise the tiny probabiities of 'risk vs having a live' after what she has been through, than so can we all.