My daughter is going to theatre in a few weeks. It's not London, but another major city. Without me, she's going with a group. I'll be in London then. I won't be there to protect her. Her sister is already dead. She died of cancer 3 and a half years ago. She was 9. I know in my heart of hearts that if I lose my surviving daughter, I will not be long in this world. I can hand on heart say that I simply cannot do what I have done the past 3 years again, I can't do this a second time. But DD2 wants to go. And if I start down the road of denying her the joys in life because of fear, then I am killing what is the essence of her, the joy she takes in life, whilst she is still alive and that is unfair and wrong. And soon enough, she will be able to go where she wants of her own volition and I will in no way be able to stop her.
She does loads of things without me there as it is - she goes to swim club, she goes to school all day, she goes to friends' homes and has sleepovers, she goes with her Scout troupe, she goes to kids' clubs and church camp in Summer, she rides in other peoples' cars. At any point in these day-to-day activities, tragedy can occur. I have friends whose children died at home, more than a few. There one minute, gone the next, sometimes in their own beds.
That's part of being a parent, that we cannot always protect them, and the air is full of flying glass.
You know what really stood out to me the night DD1 was diagnosed with cancer? How all my life, I'd worked hard to protect her from all the 'monsters' in the outside world, when all along, the real monster was inside her.