To be hurt one of my best friends is not coming to my ds party because she's doing diy

[Oddnoddle]

Been a difficult few years for various reasons
Having. Party for our sons birthday and one of my friends has said she won't be coming as she's doing diy

There's no emergency reason why this diy needs doing urgently
And tbh it's hurt my feelings

Does she have kids?

I wonder if the answer is no and she just doesn't get how important it is to you.

Is your friend's DC a friend of your DS's? Tbh, she doesn't have to give you a reason, she could have just said they couldn't make it.
How old are the DC - could she drop off?

OH and just for info, it's only two only two hours and it's at lunchtime

Most adults wouldn't really want to go to a child's party though. If she works then weekends are probably the only time she can do diy

No she's my friend and the party is at our house

How old is your son?

He will be two and we couldn't have a party last year as I was in hospital

I know a two year olds party is not most people idea of fun, hell' it's not even mine, but I do it for others
It's only a small party at home for two hours

I wouldn't fancy a kid's party in the middle of the day. I'm not mad keen on them and would only go if I was taking my own child. They're usually boring for adults.

I wouldn't go to friends kids parties unless my kids were going. My brother hasn't even been to any of his nieces or nephews parties.

Im more surprised you think that an adult would want to go to a child's birthday party.
I certainly wouldn't expect to have to go to a child's birthday party if it weren't my iece or nephew.

Back for good I don't think that

if she hasnt got a child, why would she come? Surely a childs birthday party is hell for most adults

need more info.

but generally expecting an adult to attend a kids party is... unusual.

Of course you're upset. Parties for two year olds are much more about the adults than the children. I'd be hurt if a friend didn't want to help celebrate a special day.

I wouldn't go to a friends child's birthday party unless I had a child the same age. It's a party for your son and is friends and it's really not fun or interesting to anyone else other than him and immediate family. She probably doesn't want to spend 2 hours of her weekend in a house full of toddlers

Children's parties are for their friends and keen grannies. I wouldn't expect my friends to attend my dcs parties.
The party is important to you, but her diy is important to her!

Oh, so there's no child involved. YABU im afraid, I wouldn't expect a childless adult to prioritise my DD's birthday party.

I suspect the reason she's doing diy is because of the party. Forvlotsvof people without kids (tbh a fair few with kids as well) a two year old's party is the closest thing to hell on earth.

She's your friend, not your son's. I don't think she's unreasonable in not coming to the party.

Please don't take her refusal personally. If you'd like to catch up with her tell her that, and arrange a more grown up occasion (coffee/lunch/drink).

YABU, sorry, if you want a party for her to attend, have a party, invite her, she'd be unreasonable (or just not really a friend) to decline for little reason.

If you want a party for a 2 year old, don't expect people other than the 2 year olds friends to attend, throwing a party you don't think would be enjoyable, or going to parties you don't think would be enjoyable is a bit odd.

Well if I was invited to a kids party by a v good friend, even if I didn't really fancy it, I would do it for them and think to myself well it's only a couple of hours plus I need to eat anyway....

I guess I think you do things for others

I agree, a two year old's birthday party is my idea of hell, would you prefer it if she'd made a different excuse?

i wouldn't expect a childfree friend to come to my DC's parties

if they were a REALLY good friend I might ask them over to eat the leftover cake and sweets with a glass of wine once all the other hyped up kids had gone