To think that people who claim they hate dummies are a bit thick/ignorant?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We've gave ds2 a dummy quite early on and he took to it straight away. He generally tends to need it to get to sleep, he also has reflux and although we've got medication and position him upright etc he still gets a little uncomfortable and the dummy helps. Just for context ds1 never had a dummy and never wanted one but then later on he started sucking his thumb, this was a very difficult habit to break but he eventually just grew out of it.

I've had quite a few bad reactions to the dummy mostly quite a few people saying how they hate dummies, but with no real reason why. I had one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up, and how if the babies crying they obviously need something. Well yes their dummy!

It's made me quite conscious about using the comforter.

Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby.

Ds needs are always met and offered feeds and given lots of cuddles he often gets to sleep in our bed he's always close to someone he just needs the dummy.

Just let people hate dummies if they want to, without writing them off as thick or ignorant. In other words, Let It Go!

It is perfectly ok to parent differently. Don't take it personally. Millions and millions of parents use dummies, they can't all be wrong.

Some people just can't help being judgey about others parenting decisions. Ignore them. You know your child the best and if a dummy helps them settle so be it. Personally I don't like it when children are wandering around in the day with a dummy, as it can hinder language development and isn't great for their teeth, but a baby/toddler having a dummy for comfort to settle to sleep etc I don't see anything wrong with. Some people will always have a comment to make - as a parent you of course think your way is the right way, but that doesn't mean a different way isn't the right for someone else and their family. Just try to ignore!

Horses for courses. I don't like dummies at all. Never have. DS1 never considered having one. DS2 was sucky and I did buy one (to give my finger / boobs a break). He hated it. I was delighted

I don't consider myself "a bit thick / ignorant" though.

Just ignore it. Everybody parents differently and in a way that suits them and their baby. DD needed a dummy, the midwife and HV recommended a dummy.

Each to their own.

meant to say, you might want to ask MN to amend your thread title as you are asking for trouble saying that people are thick/ignorant......

The reason is because dummies are associated with less well educated parents.

I'll be honest, prior to becoming a parent myself, I thought dummies were the hallmark of the 'shut it, Courtney' parenting set.

Then ds was born and I cheerfully embraced the dummy along with a few other low rent choices.

My mum was clearly aghast, and had to overcome her embarrassment when out and about with dummy sucking DS, although she didn't say anything.

I'm not arsed, he still has it at night and he's at school now. Whatevs.

Some people love to jump on things that make them feel superior.

I'm not sure that I'd use the word "ignorant", but maybe I would say that anyone criticising / judging another parent's choices is maybe a little bit naive .

No one knows what they would do unless they are the parent to that particular child.

I think it depends. If somebody's criticising your parenting decisions they're just wankers and it's nothing to do with dummies. They could be judging over anything.

If somebody wants to dislike dummies and choose not to use them themselves, that's fine. I don't 'like' them particularly and actively chose to avoid them. Doesn't mean I don't think they have a place, aren't extremely useful and aren't needed by many babies. Similarly, I chose never to give a bottle, use a pram, watch Eastenders, drink alcohol, pluck my eyebrows, go to soft play and on and on and on. All things I either don't like or don't want to do myself or with my children. Personal opinion only. Doesn't mean I judge other people for doing differently.

I don't mind them in babies. Hate seeing children about 3+ walking round with them in their mouths. I do think that is lazy parenting. No need for a child of that age to have a dummy. The sucking reflex for comfort has gone by then. Just no need for it.

My two daughters had a dummy. They'd get them when they were tired and going for a sleep. When they were approaching two they went away to the 'dummy fairy'. My son never needed a dummy, so I didn't offer. However, when I went back to work he suddenly started sucking his thumb. Hes now 2.5 and iv no idea how il break this habit, can't take his thumb away.

Calling people thick and ignorant because they have a different opinion ibu.

It's easy to judge when you've not had a baby who can't self sooth, but almost magically calms down and falls asleep with a dummy.

It's easy to look on and judge "lazy" parents who shut their babies up with dummies. I wonder how many of the people who judge dummies if faced with a screaming baby at 1am who's not hungry, ill, or uncomfortable in any way, won't settle with cuddling and just wants to suck to sooth themselves to sleep, would still refuse to give a dummy because it's lazy?

Op I disagree that people who 'hate' dummies are 'thick' but I do agree some can be ignorant. It is no one else's business and you shouldn't have to find an excuse for using one. I massively disliked dummies before having ds (11 months) as I thought they were used to 'shut' babies up without finding what they actually wanted/needed (I was ignorant). I gave my ds one at 12 weeks. He was a particularly difficult baby with colic, wind and awful reflux. He'd feed EVERY 1.5 hours around the clock which is probably the reason as he was ff and I realise looking back that he may have been comfort feeding/sucking. He was a different baby from the day he had a dummy. Some babies need that extra bit of soothing.

I say ignorant, because having had two children who are completely different it seems to me it's very easy to feel superior and put your child's personality down to your wonderful parenting.

I don't think that you can compare giving a soother to watching Eastenders. Not watching Eastenders is a choice, if you choose not to give a sucky baby a dummy they'll likely suck their thumb.

It was a choice for me. I chose to give unfettered access to the breast instead. DD in particular was a very sucky baby and lived in the sling. She would suck for comfort a lot. HV and some other people suggested a dummy 'if I'd like a break' but I chose not to. Other people chose differently. No value judgment, no superiority.

I compared it to Eastenders as an example of something I dislike and choose not to watch. This doesn't mean I judge other people for watching it or have no appreciation for the fact that different people do things differently.

I'm not a fan of dummies. My two DC never had one.

I don't judge parents of babies with dummies though. It's a different matter when they're over 3.

If you speak to a speech and language teacher you will find they say they are not recommended because the can effect speech. Some children who use dummies don't talk as well as their dummy is in their mouth, it is said it effects how babies use their mouth in the initial stages when cooing etc which then leads to them using these positions to form th words later.

If you speak to a dentist it is said they are not good for teeth. They force the teeth forward. My friend took her daughter to the dentist as she was concerned because her teeth were sticking out and the dentist said it was because of the dummy. He advised her to shop using it with dc2

MIL hates dummies, says they're disgusting and dirty. It's one of those things; some people are just full of weird hates and peeves, you can't change them.

You can, however, offer your DC a dummy and smile nonchalantly as they express their hatred for said dummies, because your DCs are entirely your own, and their opinions mean nothing unless you want them to.

My MIL also hates breastfeeding. There can be no reasoning with it and getting het up gives her a little bit of satisfaction I think, so I breastfed for longer (not entirely to upset her, but partly).

I had a relative like this who would always take the dummy from my DC with an 'eww dummy' attitude.

My babies had them up to a year and then they were disposed of.

I dislike children who talk around a dummy. At that stage it is unnecessary, but small babies do suckle, and they can be great.

We had to use a dummy with DD2 as she just wouldn't fall asleep without sucking on something. I still hate them though. Does that make me ignorant & thick?

Racists are thick and ignorant. People who hate dummies are having a different opinion on a relatively minor aspect of parenting.

Sounds to me like you're getting a bit smug and superior to overcompensate for something. If people don't like them, they don't like them, it doesn't make them ignorant or thick.

If you don't understand the concept of people liking different things, or that dummies aren't great for teeth or that dummies aren't great for speech, then I think you might be the thick one, these are simple concepts.

FWIW, all my kids used dummies as small babies, I'm not anti them but they do have their issues, everyone can admit that.

And so the judging begins

A dummy isn't necessarily a choice as you surely realise that some mothers cannot offer unlimited access to boob for comfort.

With regards to speech I can only speak from my own experience but thumb sucking didn't hinder ds1 speech whatsoever but you can only take my word for that.

DS1 never had a dummy, breastfed a lot. TBH, I never even thought about using a dummy.

I have a friend who pre DC was very snobbish about dummies, ended up using one and now actively tries to push them on me. Obviously she's trying to validate her choice, which I would never and have never commented on, but I wish she would respect my stance on not using them. The main thing that puts me off is I know people who are up half the night because the baby keeps losing them and won't sleep without them, and the nightmare of weaning them off.

I literally don't give a flying fuck about people using dummies. I understand some babies, particularly with medical issues such as reflux, need them. For me, the negatives outway the positives.

Nope. I'm not thick or ignorant.

I dislike dummies. I don't go around preaching, but I do dislike them.

I preferred to use other ways to soothe (even when my son had colick). I do believe that for some people they are used partly due to laziness too - baby cries, don't bother finding out if there is a reason, just shove a dummy in the mouth and they will shut up. And if they spit it out and keep crying just hold it in until they do shut up. Seen that with my own eyes and it is very hard not to say anything!

As said above they are also bad for speech development and teeth. My friends daughter still has dummy teeth, they look disgusting. She's going to high school next year.

I really don't like the look of dummies but bought some before DD was born, just in case. Turns out she was a very sucky baby, would bf more than hourly for many months and screamed and screamed in the car. I tried every fucking brand of dummy on the planet and she spat them out like they were poison, and screamed louder with an offended look.

There was no real point to that anecdote.