To think that people who claim they hate dummies are a bit thick/ignorant?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We've gave ds2 a dummy quite early on and he took to it straight away. He generally tends to need it to get to sleep, he also has reflux and although we've got medication and position him upright etc he still gets a little uncomfortable and the dummy helps. Just for context ds1 never had a dummy and never wanted one but then later on he started sucking his thumb, this was a very difficult habit to break but he eventually just grew out of it.

I've had quite a few bad reactions to the dummy mostly quite a few people saying how they hate dummies, but with no real reason why. I had one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up, and how if the babies crying they obviously need something. Well yes their dummy!

It's made me quite conscious about using the comforter.

Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby.

Ds needs are always met and offered feeds and given lots of cuddles he often gets to sleep in our bed he's always close to someone he just needs the dummy.

Dummies protect against SIDS, so that's another reason to hold your head up high if anyone criticises you.

In the USA the official medical advice is for all babies to be offered dummies, because of the protective effect.

People who hate dummys tend to not have children.

I would prefer not to give one and I didn't give one to DS, but if it was a choice between giving a dummy or having a permanently distressed baby then I would conclude that life is too short and give one!

I actually do know where you're coming from, OP. I didn't use one in the end but considered it when we were having no end of problems with breastfeeding. The only person I know who preaches against them (along with formula) had a very easy baby who latched on straight after birth and she never had to deal with cracked nipples, or feeling terrible about not being able to settle your own baby because they won't latch on etc. I think that most people who have been there with a baby who actually creates a dilemma of whether or not to give a dummy would be understanding, no matter what they ended up doing.

Alexjoy when that's a random (and completely unsubstantiated) statement.

I don't like dummies but I accept that they are a necessity for some people. I resent being called thick and ignorant because of this view as I am neither. Your post is goading for the sake of goading IMO.

Oh and good point about the SIDS. That's quite a good comeback against dummy hate, actually!

To be honest in the early weeks when I was struggling with the sleepless nights, the babies reflux and a baby who was struggling to sleep day or night I was very hurt and offended to be accused of being lazy etc for using something that worked well for us and the baby. I am quite confident that using the dummies are the best thing for us but I was rather self conscious about it when I realised there was such hatred attached to them. I mean it's a dummy not a spliff.

Hasn't everyone felt judged at one time or another or perhaps some people are completely above it.

I stand by I think it's thick and ignorant to sneer at other parents until you have walked a mile in their shoes or unless there is some kind of abuse or neglect going on.

But Pigeon, if you accept some dummy use is necessary then you don't 'hate' dummies, you just said you don't like them. I don't think you're the kind of person the OP is directed at. The kind of person who would slate a new mum to their face about dummy use must be pretty nasty IMO, I don't know anyone who would do that.

I don't like dummies. I can understand why people use them though. Tbh out of our nct group the ones who use dummies seem to complain they need to keep getting up at night to put the dummy back in.

The ops point I think, is not to be derogatory to those that do. Yes, clearly people are entitled to an opinion but why share it with a parent who is choosing to use a dummy? just bad manners if nothing else.

The only person who has been derogatory is the op, calling people ignorant and thick.
??

OP, you don't want to be criticised for your choice to use a dummy, and nor should you be. Your child, your choice. But as for calling people 'a bit thick and ignorant' for not being pro-dummy use, that's another issue. isn't it a bit ignorant in itself, to think anyone who disagrees with you must be wrong?

I have to say I don't really like the way they look, however I have used them with both of mine, not for sleep but to calm them if fractious during the day, particularly for the witching hour. They probably used them for a couple of hours a day up to 4 months or so then that was it. I don't think I'm thick or ignorant, I totally see their benefits and don't judge others for using them. They must be a real life saver in some cases

What I find funny is the parents who no way in hell would stoop to a dummy. Bang on about teeth, speech etc.

3 years later my child is dummy free, teeth and speech fine. Their child still has a thumb stuck in, they can't break the habit, speech and teeth are affected.

And still they swear they hate dummies and would never use one.

Am I reading the same OP as everyone else? Nowhere does she say that people who prefer not to use them are ignorant, she says that people who express hatred to parents who give dummies are ignorant.

"quite a few people saying how they hate dummies [...] one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up [...] Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby".

See? Surely going up to a mum who has just had a baby and saying those things is a bit ignorant? ...Isn't it? Maybe they have a medical reason that they can't give permanent access to the breast.

I am not thick! Far from it.
Ds was offered a dummy, he gave it one suck, realised there was no milk in it and never went near it again.

Dd has mouth issues. She loved her dummy for the first year (not the same one all year!), then we only had it for sleep time for the next few months.

Then she started biting them, so they all went in the bin.

Some babies are sucky babies. I don't think that depends on the level of their parents education.

I don't like seeing 7/8 year olds, in private school uniform, walking around tesco chewing on a manky dummy. But I keep quiet. Dd (2) sometimes asks if the child is a baby.

There are far more important things to get worked up about than somebody else's kid having a dummy.

Dd's was labelled 'volume control'. Got a few smiles.

I chose to give unfettered access to the breast instead

Me, too, though it was a long time ago. My reasoning was it was me my baby wanted, and her suckling freely ordered the right amount of milk production, and anyway if you wanted to hold someone's hand and they offered you a prosthesis you wouldn't be happy. Also suckling at the breast gives the right tongue and mouth stimulation and control for clear speech later.

I wouldn't argue with the dummy-providing parents. I'm not scared they'd think I was 'thick/ignorant', I just couldn't be sure they would understand my point of view and be mature enough to accept it without getting defensive. And if they were intelligent, sensible, caring parents who had thought it through and decided a dummy was best for them and their child, then there why should I disagree?

I gave my DD a dummy when she was about 7-8 weeks old. This is when she started sucking her thumb and had difficulty to fall asleep outside. I did make sure that we had established BF by then to not confuse her.
And yes, I'd rather deal with dummy when she is 1,5-2 years old than with thumb sucking when she is 5-6 years old. My DPs niece is 6 and still sucks her thumb despite her mother's efforts to stop it.
I don't think anyone has a right to tell me how to parent my DC. One "friend" of mine tried to make me feel bad about DS's dummy 10 years ago. Person whose DS was severely neglected since birth. Luckily he now lives with GM and barely sees his mother. At least he has a chance to become a decent human being.
However, I don't think they are thick or ignorant. They are mostly judging others because that way they feel better about themselves. It doesn't last long though. That's why they feel the need to repeat themselves every time they see you.

Mrstwee you are talking about an absolute ideal scenario there though.

Any other scenario I.e a dummy doesn't make the mother lazy or mean that she doesn't understand the benefits of offering the boob.

But without getting into another debate if you're not offering baby the boob at an given time the baby may still want to suckle.

Mrstwee you're making assumptions there yourself that parents don't understand that the reason their babies want to suck is because they want their mums boobs, I am fully aware of that thank you.

I don't like them, but I'm aware that this is a ridiculous mindset, and I don't actually judge people negatively for using them and i completely understand why you would use one, I just don't like them.

As I'm aware that I'm completely in the wrong for this irrational dislike (which I would never vocalise to anyone) I don't think I'm ignorant or thick.

YANBU
ALL babies are born with a strong need to suck , even when not hungry- this is so they are helping moms milk supply . Generally fades by 9-12months. But this is the reason dummies where invented, for bottle fed babies who still have this instinctual desire but can't have a bottle 'just for comfort' like they can a breast.

Yabu. What an obnoxious thread title!