To think that people who claim they hate dummies are a bit thick/ignorant?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We've gave ds2 a dummy quite early on and he took to it straight away. He generally tends to need it to get to sleep, he also has reflux and although we've got medication and position him upright etc he still gets a little uncomfortable and the dummy helps. Just for context ds1 never had a dummy and never wanted one but then later on he started sucking his thumb, this was a very difficult habit to break but he eventually just grew out of it.

I've had quite a few bad reactions to the dummy mostly quite a few people saying how they hate dummies, but with no real reason why. I had one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up, and how if the babies crying they obviously need something. Well yes their dummy!

It's made me quite conscious about using the comforter.

Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby.

Ds needs are always met and offered feeds and given lots of cuddles he often gets to sleep in our bed he's always close to someone he just needs the dummy.

DD1 was a NICU baby and, as a pp has noted up thread, they often seem to want/need dummies more. Mine certainly did. She cried A LOT for no discernable reason and was a poor sleeper. For these reasons alone I've got no problem with saying I gave her a dummy - the look of bliss as her eyes rolled back was almost comical! For the record, I did hypnobirthing, EBF, baby-wearing and BLW so it's not like that's a magic inoculation against the need for dummies!

Anyway, I'm not going to judge others' parenting choices as I've come to realise how hard it all is and you take your help where you need it. What I do really detest is when other people, it seems to be older women with us, will want to talk to DD1 (just turned 2) and say something like "and you can take that horrible thing out of your mouth" - some of them even try to remove it from her mouth themselves, as if we'll both look at them in surprise and delight and thank them for their intervention because we just didn't know what to do for ourselves. I'm always shocked by that and I'm not very confrontational but it gives me The Rage!

Thanks Derxa - unforch I've already got cancer but caught early so not looking too bad.

Mrstwee try telling a double mastectomy patient that their baby needs their boobs
As mentioned in my post, 'Substitutes are available'.

Mrstwee I'm more referring to your earlier post when you mentioned wanting to hold someone's hand and being offered a prosthetic so not being happy.

a 'substitute' is the only option available sometimes be that a hand or a nipple and the baby will be perfectly happy.

No, Pyjamaramadrama, the baby will survive. It might not be 'perfectly happy', any more than you would be 'perfectly happy' holding a prosthesis if you wanted to hold someone's hand. You would survive, you might be comforted by holding something, but you would not be 'perfectly happy'. Just because a baby cannot tell you in words exactly how he or she feels, do not assume his or her emotions are any less complex than your own.

Are you a baby mind reader, mrstwee?

She must be. Your posts are so patronising and offensive they're becoming laughable.

I tried to breastfeed with both of mine and found out early I needed one simply to get a break, well before 2 weeks. My nan used to say get a dummy or be the dummy.

Indeed, pyjama. All this time I thought my DD was perfectly happy - mrstwee has made me see the light and realise that actually, she's just surviving. I'll go and tell her to wipe the smile off her face, only breastfed babies who never use dummies get to be happy

She must be. Your posts are so patronising and offensive they're becoming laughable

Oh,dear. I'm devastated. Oops, no I'm not. You showed who you are from your thread title onwards. If I valued your opinion I would be making an error of judgement.

I am happy to claim that I hate dummies. My children' didn't use them. I have no issue with anyone else making that choice for their children. I am not thick (I have a Masters degree) and I am certainly not ignorant.

You can dislike dummies while understanding that some babies have the need to suck and without being judgmental of parents who chose to use them. OP seems to not get this or think she's BU despite her title!

I don't like them.
I dislike them even more in older children.
I hate seeing toddlers trying to speak with one in.
I know some babies need them and some special needs children.
But most don't. Or, not fur as long as they do.

Dummies helped my babies to settle to sleep therefore giving me a chance of a rest.

Dummies were a win win situation for me.

One of my friends was extremely anti dummy with her first born but changed her tune when she had her second baby. He was never without one.

You do sound very defensive. Is it really true that people tell you that they hate dummies despite knowing that your baby has one?

I didn't give dd1 a dummy although she was a very difficult baby that wanted to suck all the time. Things got better when she was about three months as the colic went and she discovered her thumb. She wouldn't drink from a bottle though which could make life difficult. I decided to give dd2 a dummy to make life easier for the first three months which worked and she was also very happy drinking milk from a bottle so I had more freedom. Unfortunately in the end it made her a poor sleeper at night as if she woke up she couldn't get back to sleep without the dummy which had usually fallen down the side of the cot. There are pros and cons.

Boobz thats exactly why i gave my kids dummies. I sucked my thumb and totally ruined my teeth. Its easier to take a dummy away than a thumb. Two of mine took to it, the other didn't but didn't suck his thumb either so obvs wasn't a very 'sucky' baby

Oh gosh has this started up again?

Marynary yes I have had very rude comments, but then I do know some very rude people. I definitely didn't make it up for the fun off making a mn thread. I didn't realise (had never given it much thought) that dummies attracted such revulsion. To be honest though it isn't just dummies it's people telling me he's 'spoilt' because I pick him up when he cries, people denying that he's got reflux and asking 'how could I possibly know he's in pain he can't tell me' people telling me I should be weaning him into solids, he's 3 months ffs.

I shouldn't have opened myself up on mn for a debate that I didn't really want or need to have.

The title was horrendous but a reflection of my anger at a few people, the dummy/thumb/parenting style debate is a pointless one as everyone has their own opinions but ultimately are just thinking that they're doing they're best for their babies.

Stepping away from mn.

'Their' best, I'm very tired

You certainly know some rude people Pyjamaramadrama. I don't think that anyone ever made any comments about dummies to me when dd2 had one.

I feel lucky that I've never come across rude people who pass such openly offensive comments on my parenting. I've had the odd snide comment from an arsey family member but he's a cockwomble about most things.

I hate tatts I guess it's similar.

Both of mine had dummies, both were rid completely before 18 months, definitely didn't affect speech. Dont really see the angst around it. There is also the study that suggests they possibly help prevent cot death although like my studies there is uncertainty about causality. But people only latch onto the negatives with dummies for some reason.

I love dummies. I didn't have one so wanted mine to have them.

It is insensitive to judge other people for their preferences.I dislike dummies for my child that's my personal preference but what works for you and your child is your business and neither of us is right nor wrong..Ignoance is voicing an opinion with no thought for the recipient of the comment.

Thick was the wrong word to use however being well educated doesn't stop someone from being an ignorant judgemental prat does it?