To think that people who claim they hate dummies are a bit thick/ignorant?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We've gave ds2 a dummy quite early on and he took to it straight away. He generally tends to need it to get to sleep, he also has reflux and although we've got medication and position him upright etc he still gets a little uncomfortable and the dummy helps. Just for context ds1 never had a dummy and never wanted one but then later on he started sucking his thumb, this was a very difficult habit to break but he eventually just grew out of it.

I've had quite a few bad reactions to the dummy mostly quite a few people saying how they hate dummies, but with no real reason why. I had one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up, and how if the babies crying they obviously need something. Well yes their dummy!

It's made me quite conscious about using the comforter.

Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby.

Ds needs are always met and offered feeds and given lots of cuddles he often gets to sleep in our bed he's always close to someone he just needs the dummy.

You can absolutely be educated and a ignorant judgemental twat. A dummy however, is just a bit of rubber for which that label is somewhat ott

33 year old thumb sucker here. I've had the works done to me as a child to make me stop. I'm quite stubborn it seems.

The minute my dc started sucking their thumbs for comfort they had a dummy. Dummy has gone now, the thumb sucking would not.

I have a very vocal friend about dummies. She was quite forthright in her opinion about it - our first dc were born 2 weeks apart. Her dc still sucks their thumb, mine are dummy free. I will never comment on it to her though. Everyone has their own opinions but it's usually appropriate to keep them to yourself.

At university I met quite a few secret thumb suckers, I think there is quite a lot of people who never fully stop.

I dislike dummies mainly because I think they look awful, my 2 never had one & I don't consider myself thick or ignorant. I don't judge others for using them, couldn't give a shit if I'm honest, you do what you like.

Dummies are fine for babies but it makes me a bit sad when I see school-aged children walking round with them, struggling to talk around them! One of DS's classmates (aged 6) always has a big dummy in her mouth when we see her outside of school, I just don't get it.

Oh, and YABU to assume that I am thick!

My baby was given one in nicu by her consultant. They'd just taken her off life support and the dummy helped her learn how to swallow. Had she not mastered it and quickly she was being Reintubated
so yeah, not lazy parenting but a necessity. Now of course she's older and I get comments, mostly from my own parents, about her reliance on the dummy. Couldn't care less, rather a dummy than an oxygen tank given the choice.

Agree that it's because they're perceived as a bit low rent. I judged massively pre-DC. And then DS came along, and I ate my words.

He was a sucky baby, he needed to suck to soothe. Not altogether surprising, given that I was the same as a child.

I sucked my thumb until I was 10. My parents tried everything under the sun (except give me a dummy, natch) to stop me, but I needed to suck. And I just did not understand why I wasn't allowed to. So when it came to DS, I totally got it. He just needed to suck.

Some babies do. And some babies don't. It's easy to be vehemently anti-dummy, and to not give your baby a dummy, if they don't need to suck.

DD didn't need to suck, so she never had a dummy.

With DS, he only had it in bed, never while awake, and never in public, as I was too embarrassed by it. But he had it when he needed it, and then we took it off him aged about 4. No looking back. Unlike me and my thumb sucking...

People will judge and be 'ignorant' about most aspects of parenting if it doesn't fit what suited their individual circumstances. I was constantly judged and criticised for using very strict GF routines and controlled crying when my DS was a newborn - it worked perfectly for us but I don't even comment on the sleeping threads here any more because of the constant flaming - he's a teenager now so the whole subject of sleep training bores me .

The key is not to let these things bother you - who really cares? Don't be so sensitive. If you are confident with your decision, then don't let other people's comments worry you.

And my parents ended up spending thousands on braces, due to my bucked teeth. DS has lovely teeth....

Thumb sucking and dummy use aren't the only causes of bucked teeth. Sometimes people fixate on things as being at the root of all evil when they aren't. Also, there's absolutely nothing to stop someone sucking their thumb because someone took their dummy off them. The two are not mutually exclusive, so there's no point being any more smug about a former dummy user not being a thumb sucker than being smug about a child who never felt the need to suck anything within easy reach. Sometimes, people just do what they do and we don't all seek comfort in the same places!

Babies that "need" go suck are surely indicating they need more time at the breast? (Full term healthy babies)
As for thumb sucking, I've never known anyone do it. We had our hands removed from our mouths and so do our (family) children. When they are old enough to understand they are told not to do it (that would be well before school age) not sure it's as common as people on here seem to think, although I suppose if you're a thumb sucker yourself you might be on the look out for it more and maybe more indulgent of it? It doesn't really matter, it's only sucking.

Whilst people who don't want to use a dummy (for whatever reason) aren't thick or ignorant, it is quite thick an ignorant to tell other people that they shouldn't use them for their children.

My two DC never had dummies bug are both thumb suckers (ad was I). They are both at secondary school now and still suck their thumbs at nighttime. Both have lovely teeth though. I have never tried to stop them as I would have hated this myself. I'm sure they'll stop eventually.

Disclaimer

Yes, YABVU to call people thick / ignorant.
Regardless of my opinions on dummies, YABU for that.