To think that people who claim they hate dummies are a bit thick/ignorant?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We've gave ds2 a dummy quite early on and he took to it straight away. He generally tends to need it to get to sleep, he also has reflux and although we've got medication and position him upright etc he still gets a little uncomfortable and the dummy helps. Just for context ds1 never had a dummy and never wanted one but then later on he started sucking his thumb, this was a very difficult habit to break but he eventually just grew out of it.

I've had quite a few bad reactions to the dummy mostly quite a few people saying how they hate dummies, but with no real reason why. I had one person going on and on about how dummies are for lazy parents just to shut the baby up, and how if the babies crying they obviously need something. Well yes their dummy!

It's made me quite conscious about using the comforter.

Why the hatred? I think it's ignorance if they've never had a sucky baby.

Ds needs are always met and offered feeds and given lots of cuddles he often gets to sleep in our bed he's always close to someone he just needs the dummy.

I don't like dummies or thumb sucking. DC don't have dummies and their hands / thumbs are removed from their mouths (obviously a bit of licking and sucking of hands is normal for development/ teething) I am not keen on things they'll have to have "taken away" security blankets, teddies etc. too much work.

They do have a lot of access to the breast- well I went back to work quite early but whilst I was there they could have it.

Isn't that the same though, I mean ok the breast is more natural, but it's still the biggest comfort for the baby and has to be taken away at some point. Which can cause distress for the child.

I don't really see why teddies or comfort blankets have to be taken away. Ds1 still likes his teddies but he can manage fine without them if need be.

It's not the same no

Not the same at all.

I chose not to use a dummy because it can interfere with the establishing and maintaining of breastfeeding. A certain amount of comfort ducking is needed to increase milk supply. I breast my first child until 2 years old and my second until 22 months. My oldest never sucked his thumb, but did still sucks her thumb if she thinks I'm not looking at six years old.

There aren't many adults who suck their thumbs/ fingers/ dummies. Even if they do its not the crime of the century.

"
Isn't that the same though, I mean ok the breast is more natural, but it's still the biggest comfort for the baby and has to be taken away at some point. Which can cause distress for the child. "

Not everyone's cup of tea, but there is the option of full term breastfeeding.

As others have said not liking a dummy doesn't make someone thick or ignorant

I personally don't like to see dummies in older babies/toddlers and do think there are concerns with speech and teeth positioning when dummies are still used beyond baby stage

I didn't give ds a dummy it didn't really occur to me to didn't think it was something he needed , in hindsight would this maybe have raised the 2-3 hour screaming sessions from collick each evening ?? Maybe ! If I find myself with another colicky dc would I try a dummy this time - Absolutley!

Don't judge others is my usual thoughts on stuff like this and life in general actually!

Raised ?! Eased !!

I'm not a huge fan of dummy's

DD1 refused one outright and sucked her fingers instead. She still does when tired and her fingernails in those two fingers have gonea bit odd

DD2 was a NICU baby and we were advised to buy her a dummy as sucking during procedures offers pain relief to them, she only has it for naps now by her own choice but I certinally wasn't going to say no to something that could ease her pain

Of course it is, lots of babies get very upset if their mums decide to stop breastfeeding at any age.

Pyjamaramadrama: Mrstwee you're making assumptions there yourself that parents don't understand that the reason their babies want to suck is because they want their mums boobs, I am fully aware of that thank you

Actually, that's an incorrect assumption on your part. I know that babies are born with an urge to suck which stays with them, sometimes as long as eight years. I know its one of the many survival mechanisms with which healthy human babies arrive fully equipped. They don't just want to suck, they need to. And as breasts are provided for the nourishment and comfort of infants, babies are best-placed there. Babies don't 'want their mums boobs' (what? oh, breasts) in the way you might want a cup of tea or want a biscuit, they need them. Substitutes are available but they are always just that - substitutes.

I find it absolutely bizarre that people can say that they dislike dummies, yet in the next sentence claim that their babies suck their thumb/fingers, or were advised to offer one asit helps to relieve pain (ds definitely helps with his reflux), showing that babies do have a strong need to suckle for comfort.

With regards to later removing the comforter, you could apply that to anything as babies will eventually grow out of/be weaned off most things be it dummy, boob, bottle, teddy, co-sleeping.

I was a dummy hater - three babies no dummies,all very sucky babies, all breastfed,forth dc also breastfed also very sucky baby also a windy fussy baby when he was tiny and in desperation turned to a dummy when he was about 3 or 4 months old to settle him so I could also look after my other 3 little ones as well!! He bloody loved it and still does (9 months now!) it didn't affect breastfeeding, he loves his food now too and we don't have to worry about waking up at night because of losing it because he sleeps with me and I never lose my new best friend the dummy (he does spit it out though once he's asleep). He doesn't have it in all the time, eg when we go to playgroups and he's busy he doesn't have it, when he's playing at home he doesn't have it. It's just for grumpy/tired time, in the car, and when he wants to nod off but he's fussing at the breast because he doesn't really want a feed he just wants to suck.
I really don't know why I was a dummy hater - wish I'd used one with my others! I am hoping to magic it away not too far away though - I think I am still a toddler dummer hater - hope I won't be eating my words in two years time!

Oldraver it was the same with dd, she was in Scbu I was back on the ward recovering from an horrendous four day labour that resulted in an emcs and a poorly baby to boot!

Scbu rang the ward to ask if they could give dd a dummy, I was hardly going to say no! It helped give a traumatised baby who was separated from her mum some comfort - judge away

I did have one friend ask me if i thought dd would be more likely to smoke because she had a dummy

I find it absolutely bizarre that people can say that they dislike dummies, yet in the next sentence claim that their babies suck their thumb/fingers

Pyjama- who has said this? I don't understand why you keep mentioning finger sucking. How is it relevant?

Of course I may have to take away my breast from DC (if they don't self wean) They may be upset, they may not. Once the decision is made to stop thats not my primary concern. Helping them up to the next step in their development is.

Hate dummies. Think they are ugly plastic monstrosities on beautiful baby faces. Cannot stand seeing children trying to talk through them. Fail to understand why my SIL and brother have always put dummies in their children's mouths when the child was perfectly placid at the time. Have to say, tried dummies with both children in times of desperation. Neither took to it and I wasn't going to keep trying, given my feelings about them. As a result, I had both children permanently attached to me for a long time, but prefer the natural approach for most things. Accept that the natural approach is not always desired or possible.
Not sure this makes me a bit thick or ignorant, but there we go.

Thelush, you yourself mentioned that you removed fingers and thumbs from their mouths. Other posters have too.

Mrstwee try telling a double mastectomy patient that their baby needs their boobs (yes I can call them boobs, they are my breasts and both my boys have fed from them), babies generally don't mind as long as they're loved and fed and will be perfectly happy and content with or without breastfeeding. Not to mention that many, many people give their babies a dummy alongside a healthy milk supply.

Before I had a baby I was a bit judgey about dummies, but that was because I wasn't aware of the benefits or the medical reasons for using them.

For people saying just give them access to the breast - that doesn't always end well. My baby had colic and reflux and sucked on me so long and so frequently that my breasts were engorged like basketballs. I had oversupply, which in turn meant that my baby was getting too much foremilk, which leads to lactose overload, and a sore, windy tummy, explosive poos, and increased comfort sucking to deal with the pain. Leading to even more milk, and so on, in a vicious circle. A dummy was recommended by medical professionals and lactation consultants in our case to break this cycle, and it worked very well. I had a much happier baby, my milk supply calmed down and it also helped with her reflux. She slept more and was much healthier. As I said earlier, dummies also protect against SIDS so I felt happy that I was doing everything possible to prevent my baby dying of cot death and the dummy was part of that.

Dummies do have positives and negatives which is why there isn't a blanket recommendation to use them by the NHS even though the research on SIDS is quite clear. But if they are used only for sleep and removed by the time the child is 12 months they don't cause any speech or teeth problems. Perhaps those who say they 'hate' dummies aren't aware of the latest medical research and are merely going on preconceived ideas about the type of parent that would use a dummy and their reasons for doing so. I don't know how you can say you 'hate' dummies to be honest, if you're in possession of all the facts. It's like saying that you 'hate' medication and would never give it to your baby. All medicines have side effects but they might be necessary and they might save your baby's life.

Each to their own but I use a dummy ( we call it Dodie ) with my 7 month old DD and have done since the day she was born. Its not 100% proven but having a Dodie could possible reduce the risk of SIDS. Just with the possibility of reducing the risk was enough for me.

She has it with her all day but she only uses it for naps and bedtime, also when she had a cold.

I be been judged and I've said the same to everyone, she's happy, I'm happy, it can reduce the risk of SIDS and people have said no more about it

But my first son died at 3 weeks so people understand my reasoning

So YANBU OP. Perhaps I wouldn't say "thick/ignorant", but I might just assume that they weren't in possession of all the facts.

Clippity so sorry

Pyjama- yes I do remove their fingers from their mouths. You've not really explained why that matters? You seemed to be saying anyone who didn't have a dummy just had a thumb sucker, which isn't the case.

Having a double masactomy is extremely rare isn't it?

I love dummies. I love the convenience, I love the comfort it provides babies, I love the restful nights of sleep that come as part and parcel of not wrangling an angry baby.

Then again, I also love formula, for the lack of boob shredding, and the fact that it nourished my daughter perfectly well when, despite her apparent 'need' for boob, she showed no interest in it and couldn't latch no matter what we tried.

Oh, and I loved purees, for the convenience and for introducing her to flavours.

Clearly I'm all about giving my daughter substitutes for maternal convenience, but she seems pretty happy

I'm having a double mastectomy in November.

Luckily I have finished breast feeding all 3DC.

I was a bit judgey about dummies when DC were little. Now I wish I had given DD2 a dummy instead of sucking her thumb - she is 5 now and I cannot get it out of her mouth - her teeth are ruined as a result. The PP upthread who said "The sucking reflex for comfort has gone by then (3). Just no need for it." - Tell that to my DD - she is very comforted by that blimmin thumb!

Boobz Hope your operation goes well and is preventative rather than for the other reason.