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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fucking fuming?

218 replies

LouiseBoo · 03/09/2015 11:08

Before I start, I've been with my partner for just about a year now, but I wouldn't have treated someone this way if they were with someone for 1 minute.

Last night my OH's Mum had all the immediate family round for dinner. This consists of us, her husband and other two sons, her grandchild and her son's partner (BABIES mum). Might I mention that her youngest son is only 10, hence him not having anyone there.

She decided they'd have a 'new home' picture, and surprise surprise, all got into position and as I went to stand next to my OH, was told by his Mum ''Oh Lou, would you mind taking the photo?''

I did, and after it was taken my OH made a comment that his little brother should take the picture so I could be in one, and his Mum did one of those little laughs where you haven't heard what someone's said/ignored it.

I was absolutely fuming, complained of a severe migraine and got OH to drive me home. He's working now so I've yet to discuss it with him.

OP posts:
NickNacks · 03/09/2015 11:10

If I had a 'new home' picture take. I would choose my son to be in it over my son's gf regardless of his young age. Sorry.

BifsWif · 03/09/2015 11:10

Does she have form for things like this?

YANBU by the way

AuntyMag10 · 03/09/2015 11:11

Yanbu bloody rude of her. Fine if she wanted one with just her family to put up, but she could have done one with you and not used it. No need to be so rude like that.

Griphook · 03/09/2015 11:11

I think you've have completely over reacted tbh.

AliceScarlett · 03/09/2015 11:12

You're entitled to feel angry, but in the grand scheme of things...does it really matter?

Thelushinthepub · 03/09/2015 11:13

I think you've over reacted- someone had to take it didn't they?

InimitableJeeves · 03/09/2015 11:13

"Fucking fuming" several hours later? YABU.

steppemum · 03/09/2015 11:14

well, given a choice, I would get gf rather than son to take photo. But I would then take another photo with you in it.

You are having a very strong reaction, which suggests to me that this isn't the first time?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/09/2015 11:14

I think you're overthinking this, it's annoying but not bad enough to be fuming then demanding a lift home because you're so pissed off.

SaucyJack · 03/09/2015 11:15

Awkward for you, but objectively speaking you were the least worst person to take the picture.

You could split up tomorrow and she'd never hear from you again, but she has lifelong ties to all the others present inc. her grandchild's mother.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/09/2015 11:15

You're majorly over reacting.

ShortandSweeter · 03/09/2015 11:16

complete over-reaction. I would suggest your anger is coming from somewhere else.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/09/2015 11:16

I missed the part where you faked a migraine. Wow.

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 03/09/2015 11:17

Yabu in my eyes simply by saying you had a migraine when you didn't and acting like a petulant child

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/09/2015 11:18

Do you live together? Are you married? Openly planning or have children?

If not to at least one then yabvvvvu. You're just her son's girlfriend, not family unless at least one of the above applies.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 03/09/2015 11:18

Do you and your partner live together?

Tbh in her situation I wouldn't have had you in the photo - you aren't yet part of her family.

PrimalLass · 03/09/2015 11:18

Ridiculous. Plus I'd not want my photo on someone's wall.

2ndSopranosRule · 03/09/2015 11:19

I think you've overreacted completely but I can see why you feel miffed.

I wasn't permitted in any family photos when SIL got married as I wasn't family 'yet'. I should point out that we'd been together for three years at that point and were getting married ourselves four weeks later (whole other thread and yes we set our date a year before they did but hey ho).

Now that was offensive. I also wasn't allowed in any of the 'friends of the happy couple' on the grounds I "wasn't exactly a friend really".

Thus the seeds of my relationship with my ILs were sown. Hmm. Been married nearly ten years now and FIL still doesn't know when my birthday is

StanSmithsChin · 03/09/2015 11:19

YABU sorry.

Yes they could have taken another picture with you in it but as pp have said in regards to family ties you are low on the list. It is a photograph not a last will and testament. Get over it. Seriously.

Jackie0 · 03/09/2015 11:20

She is making the distinction between family and non family.
I realise the partner of another son was included but she is probably considered almost family as the grandchild's mum.
Is she doing this to push your buttons by any chance?
I won't have let on I was upset , play the long game .

whatdoIget · 03/09/2015 11:20

In that situation, I wouldn't have been in the picture in the first place, because I would have immediately got hold of the camera and taken the picture.
It was rude of her not to take another one with you in though.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 03/09/2015 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lj8893 · 03/09/2015 11:21

I think your massively overreacting.

Mermaidhair · 03/09/2015 11:22

I'm sorry but yabu. You are the girlfriend who has been dating for 1 year. Everyone else is a blood relative or married/mother of baby. You may not still be with your partner in a year or two. Why would she want a photo with you in it instead of her own son? Age doesn't matter. I think you have over reacted by faking a migraine. Is there more that is going on for you?

whatdoIget · 03/09/2015 11:23

Someone had to take the picture didn't they? Smile

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