To be fucking fuming?

[LouiseBoo]

Before I start, I've been with my partner for just about a year now, but I wouldn't have treated someone this way if they were with someone for 1 minute.

Last night my OH's Mum had all the immediate family round for dinner. This consists of us, her husband and other two sons, her grandchild and her son's partner (BABIES mum). Might I mention that her youngest son is only 10, hence him not having anyone there.

She decided they'd have a 'new home' picture, and surprise surprise, all got into position and as I went to stand next to my OH, was told by his Mum ''Oh Lou, would you mind taking the photo?''

I did, and after it was taken my OH made a comment that his little brother should take the picture so I could be in one, and his Mum did one of those little laughs where you haven't heard what someone's said/ignored it.

I was absolutely fuming, complained of a severe migraine and got OH to drive me home. He's working now so I've yet to discuss it with him.

Some of the responses are downright nasty and immature, hollow laugh especially As you ate telling op to grow up etc. cheeky post is very nasty I have reported that. All that needs saying is YAbVU, she obviously does not see you as family yet, etc no need for the vitriol.

If you're gonna report for people simply being bluntly honest you're gonna keep mn ridiculously busy!

But Aero your situation - which was very unpleasant I'm not surprised you were upset - is actually closer to the scenario where the OP wanted the young boy to take an 'adults only' pic.

Who the fuck actually wants to be in a family photo with in laws? I can't think of anything worse personally.

I can understand MIL wanting you take the photos as you were least connected but she really ought to have included you in a second photo especially as you do own a house together etc and it's not just a summer fling.

Bacon, that poster called the op a bitch, that is not acceptable and should be removed quite rightly.

Yes having read more of op posts, she should let it be, there will be plenty of other opportunity for her to be in family photos if she has a baby or gets married to her partner.

A year is not sufficient for his mother to include you in the absence of marriage. I've been married for 15 years and there is no way I could consider someone 'joining' our family as an in-law after a year.

God forbid MIL should have a photo with her children and grandchildren. Mum of grandchild is different to sons newish girlfriend. I'd see it differently if you had been around for years.

Oh I've had this loads of time with my ILs. Even after I married my DH and had my DS, my DS has been in 'family' pictures (e.g. at my SILs wedding) that I was not required to be in. I'm guessing this is so the picture isn't null and void if me and DH were to divorce? I did kick up a little bit of a fuss at one family gathering when all [insert last name]'s were asked to gather for a photo, so i joined with DS and my FIL said, "oh just real [insert last name]'s in this one Flumplet, we'll do another with you in it afterward" - Lo and behold, the photo sans Flumplet has taken pride of place above the fireplace.

I think YABU to be fuming and also to have faked a migraine, but I can see why you felt a little left out. You haven't said how old you are, but I'm wondering if, rather than being in your twenties like some posters have assumed, you're actually in your mid-late thirties? That would explain the rush to conceive, and getting serious quite quickly, and also why you feel you should be acknowledged as a family member.... Perhaps you and DP feel you have been around the block enough to know this is the real deal? And perhaps the strain of ttc has made you feel oversensitive to things like this, like you aren't valid or valuable because you haven't had a baby yet? But maybe DP's family just haven't realised how serious things are, or maybe they just didn't think.

I must admit, I never really mind having randoms in family snaps - part of the fun of looking at old pictures is to say "Who on earth is that with Freddy? Oh God, it was that nightmare drama queen who he dumped three weeks later! Do you remeber how she insisted on wearing those ridiculous boots all the time....?!" Etc etc

YABU OP but I think you know that now.

Op, did you speak to your OH then?

I agree, some of these comments, really no need to be so cutting or bitchy.

I still think YABU to be so upset.

I was excluded from something by my MIL that still hurts to this day, 7 years later. But I have a genuine reason. She left me out of my FILs obituary so as not to upset BILs wife as MIL didn't want her on it. I had been in the family 13 years then, married and pregnant with 3rd grandchild, and nursed DFIL in the last few weeks of his life, was with him when he died of cancer. BILs wife had met DFIL twice, TWICE and didn't have much to do with the family.

You've only been going out with him a year and you're getting pissy about being left out of the photo?

Boo-hoo! Be an adult and get over it.

Why do you deserve to be in it anyway?

Ah...my favourite type of AIBU.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes!
OP: No I'm not FFS and here's why...

Oh and yes, YABU!! Grow up - if there is an issue, address it at the time like an adult. Do not concoct a story and sulk like a petulant child.

Ttc is not the same as being pregnant or having a baby. The brothers girlfriend is now linked to them forever. She is the mother of their gc.

If you were married, I would still think you were being over the top. But could see why it would grate.

Chances are everyone knows you were faking which will make things more awkward.

You really do need to chill out. I haven't read any of your previous threads, so there maybe a reason that you are so anxious to be pg, to the point of alienating your dp, and so desperate to be seen as part of the family.

I have 2 kids with DH and been married for 13 years. I still wouldn't mind if dhs parents wanted a photo without me. They aren't my family.

Tbh, since the neighbours were there, I would be a bit put out that your dp asked for his little brother to be excluded when the neighbours could have taken the photo.

You can't have been TTC for that long - you've been together for less than a year.

Is your boyfriend less keen than you? Hence the hysteria about fertile windows and about being in this photo? You can't force a relationship.

YABvvvvvU. You're not family, so why on earth do you think you should be in the family photo?

I should have also mentioned that the neighbours were round at the time, so could have taken the bloody photo!
-right. But it didn't occur to your DP to ask them to take the photo, instead of his brother? So you could be in one?

I don't believe the late appearance of neighbours in this story. So clearly someone had to take the photo, and of course a son has more rights to be in a family photo than other son's relatively new girlfriend.