To be fucking fuming?

[LouiseBoo]

Before I start, I've been with my partner for just about a year now, but I wouldn't have treated someone this way if they were with someone for 1 minute.

Last night my OH's Mum had all the immediate family round for dinner. This consists of us, her husband and other two sons, her grandchild and her son's partner (BABIES mum). Might I mention that her youngest son is only 10, hence him not having anyone there.

She decided they'd have a 'new home' picture, and surprise surprise, all got into position and as I went to stand next to my OH, was told by his Mum ''Oh Lou, would you mind taking the photo?''

I did, and after it was taken my OH made a comment that his little brother should take the picture so I could be in one, and his Mum did one of those little laughs where you haven't heard what someone's said/ignored it.

I was absolutely fuming, complained of a severe migraine and got OH to drive me home. He's working now so I've yet to discuss it with him.

Get over yourself! You're not family. You've been together a year! I was with my ex 2 years, we had a house, sadly lost a baby, I'd never be included in family photos because well its too soon to class yourself as family. It's a new relationship. Stop being so high maintenance, it's an ugly quality.

Yanbu at all, I would be hurt that I wasent considered part of the family. There should have been another one of you in it as well.

When I was 11 I was left out of a family photo, if my dads side if the family, it was my half brothers and sisters, their wives partners and kids and me on the side . I went to get into position and was told to stand out. It really hurt, lots if photos were taken and not one of me in it . It hurt then and still hurts a bit years later.

I'm sorry but YABU & have over reacted to something pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.

When my XMIL remarried, she made me take all the photos so that I wouldn't be in a single one.

It wasn't worth me saying anything to XH or anyone else, as I was always most unwelcome in that family.

Op, I do hope you start lots of threads about everything that annoys you.
This one was comedy gold.
"How am I not family?"
Ha ha ha

Wow some really nasty and catty responses on here!

First let me say that I do actually think that the OP is being unreasonable, but really some of the replies on here are vicious!

I can't believe people think it's ok to call her a bitch. This thread really makes me think that some of the things said in the media over recent weeks are true.

I agree, scarlett the responses on here really bring down Mumsnet, and help negative images of it. Very nasty, awful and unnecessary. Plat ground mentality, rather than grown adults.

Playground, I meant, doh.

CheekyMaleeky - no need

You seem pretty intense. You've only been dating this guy for a year and you've already bought a house together and been planning on a baby for months. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I just wonder if it's reflective of your personality in general?

You can't expect to become part of the family so soon. Just chill out and give it time. You're obviously serious about this guy, so you've got many family photographs ahead of you. But faking a migraine and storming off isn't going to endear you to your boyfriend's parents.

It does change when someone has a baby. If someone has a baby you're related to you're tied to them for the rest of your life to some extent.

If someone has a girlfriend for two years in their twenties then split you're stuck with pictures of someone you might not have seen for 60+ years.

I think you have overacted a bit, but I also would have felt more than a bit hurt.

A year might not seem like a long time be in a relationship but in the 50's and 60's it was the norm to marry your first boyfriend or girlfriend.

I think MIL sounds a bit smug, her problem not yours.

FWIW I think it's a terrible to call you a bitch. MN ,for all it's feminist claptrap can be a bit of a vipers nest. ( most NMummers are lovely btw)

You sound as if you have a good solid relationship..plenty of time to be included in cheesy family photos.

Aeroflot - your situation is very different though, you genuinely were family and you were excluded as a child - that's shockingly awful. :(

Calling the OP a bitch is just pure spiteful. That post should be deleted.

Silly, presumptuous and OTT are about as far as it needs to go.

Why do some people have to be so catty and horrible. It doesn't say much about what they must be like in real life.

Chilli are you directing the op over to netmums?

And feminist 'claptrap'?

Sorry but I agree with the majority of everyone else.

You've been together just a year, you're a girlfriend, a live-in girlfriend but still "just" a girlfriend.

Having a child together will make you "family" but it doesn't make them like you. Faking a migraine was low.

FWIW I've been married 6 years. At the 3 year mark SIL got married and I wasn't in any of the photos (DH was though). What's funny is I didn't even realize until a couple of months later :S I also still don't consider them my family. They are still just DH's family. It could be because DH and I don't have children (no lifetime tie), could also be because I still don't know them very well.

Overreacting and frankly having seen your other threads think you need to grow up, stop being so demanding and high maintenance before you TTC. I don't think you'd cope being a mum right now.

Maybe she just doesn't like you?
You sound very high maintenance and quite unpleasant.

I know thumb, all because I did not share the same mum as my half brothers and sister. I was a child, it did hurt.

I agree with what most people have said. You're the girlfriend. You aren't married there are no DCs.

Faking an illness is childish and a bit pathetic.

Don't make a fool of yourself by discussing it with your boyfriend.