To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

[Tistheseasonbear]

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

I have some of the popular crowd on my facebook (i wasnt in the crowd but i live where i grew up) they are married /divorced have jobs a couple of kids 1 is a grandparent just normal people. The nasty mean crowd were not the in crowd in my year they were just nasty and mean

I was in that group I suppose. Most went to uni, some are now in professional jobs or careers, some with kids and mortgages (at 23) and quite a few living abroad.

We are still friends and still see each other regularly.

No different to any other group I don't think

Have some whatnow Nicki

"Nasty, judgey thread"?

Regina George's gang used to spot at me, push me around, belittle me and chant "P-I-G pig" when I walked past or used the toilet.

Forgive me if I just didn't understand their glittering personalities and high EQ's - I just saw bullies blessed with naturally glossy big hair and mainstream "good looks".

Just before we all left I got to become a little friendly with the queen bee - who actually hadn't joined in - in some ways I think the role was thrust upon her due to her looks. Transpired her home life was a bit of a mess and life wasn't easy. I sometimes wonder what became of her because I never see reference to her on social media.

Most of the aforementioned gang have achieved mediocrity and appear to have validated themselves through the men in their lives.

This was a selective grammar.

I hope I am bitter, I've had to carry this weight of shame and fear through my entire adult life. And yes, I was fucking thrilled to see school reunion photos online and see that the girls who thought they were all that (and when young you believe it too) were really quite ordinary - and the boys had aged terribly.

So shoot me.

I was bullied relentlessly by 2 or 3 kids the popular crowd were quite protective and would step in whenever they saw anything didnt stop the bullying tbf but they were a nice bunch not that i was cool enough to join them

I'm actually more envious of our popular crowd now than I ever was. They all seem like happy balanced people with social lives, partners and young children. The bit I'm envious of is that they're all still really close friends and seem to meet up a lot and go to each other's weddings, birthdays, christenings etc

Unfortunately drugs ruined the lives of the popular group when I went to school. They were only getting into them in the last year or so of school but they were local kids to where I lived. I know one works in a rehab unit now and a few of them are dead. Another I see around when I go to my parents house. She has had a few children all taken into care and has convictions for drug dealing. Its just so very sad .

Have some whatnow Nicki

I had to google it mrsjay

It basically means taking pleasure from someone else's misfortune.

Farmers. At my school you were cool if you had a very strong somerset accent and did obscene things with farm labourers in fields. I was very happy to be square!

I was in the popular group, well by year 10 and 11. Im embarassed to admit, i desperately wanted to be and clawed my way in with my best friend. She was pretty and i was chubby but funny ! I was also v confident. I wasn't a threat to the main girls and i was a clown and uo for anything type. Ive also realised im a good listener/or a sounding board for the self indulgent we were a large group then, approx 15 girls and our 'parrallell' boys were similar. We were not as naughty or 'rough' as one crowd but not hard working or 'geeky' as another. We were generally all in the fashions of the time and into make up and clothes. Some smoked some didn't, we were all drinking and sexually active by 15 though. Iver the years one of the bitchier one dropped us for her college mates, one drifted away with work mates, one or two moved away, one or two didnt keep in touch through college/uni.
So now at 40 years old there are 7 of us left. Very close but not cliquey we have other friends too. We have a wealth of amazing experiences and memories between us and have been together through thick and thin!

Ah ok worra wish i knew big words

I genuinely have no idea

I don't live in the town (or indeed, the country) I went to high school in and I don't have FB.

I'm amazed grown adults keep track of these things, unless you are actively still part of the same friendship circle.

Remember I still watch KUWTK though mrsjayy ????

My sister always says I was the popular one at school and had it easy, maybe I did but looking back I had the same teen angst as everyone else. Falling out with friends, boy problems, spots ect.
I like to think I had a better social life because I was nice and out going not a bullying slapper Interestingly though, my sister is doing better on paper in adult life. Better job, nicer house etc. Odd.

I don't think my school had a 'popular' crowd like the one you describe.

But for my year at school generally, some of them went on to great things career wise, some settled down and had children at a younger age and concentrated on family stuff. Some moved away, some still live in the general area.

I haven't heard of anyone from my year at school who has made a spectacular mess of things - no major dramas. And no one became the much maligned stereotype 'single mum on benefits' or anything like that.

We didn't have a popular crowd. We did however have a very rough, terrifying small mixed crowd who bullied and dominated their way through school. By the latter years they were diluted and lost their power somewhat. The severity of playground fighting was awful, they were sexually precocious and looking back it was a horrible school experience for the rest of us who had to witness the behaviour and disruption. It's likely they had chaotic home lives. They seem pretty ordinary now, have families, not in prison...!

There were a few bullies though, and sadly whilst I'd love to say they have had their comeuppance, they haven't. They have, with no exceptions, done really well in their careers, and are wealthy and respected. It can be quite upsetting, because I remember at school when they were making my life hell, people saying 'don't worry, years from now they will amount to nothing, people like that never do'. Except, actually, it seems like people like that become chief executives...whereas the people whose confidence they crushed struggle long term.

Interesting thread. I was not one of the popular kids and well out of the "in" crows.

I was bullied by one or two of them and it's taken me years to overcome those feelings of fear. Realising that I am possibly on the autistic spectrum like DS has helped me as it explains why I found social stuff so difficult
What has also helped is having a reunion last year. We are all 48/49 now and can all mix. There's a small group (10 or so) of us who meet twice a year for a drink and a chat. This includes a few of the "popular" girls and one of the bullies who made my life crap in school. Yet we all meet up and get on.
The bully turned out to have had a dreadful home life as a child and life hasn't been easy for her as an adult. In her late 40s age says life is now good. I can forgive her for the past.

"Often they're just groups of friends who get on well together, but some people can't see that and end up seething bitterly because they're not part of that friendship group."

I don't think so.

I have read this type of comment repeatedly on MN and think it shows lack of (self-) awareness. Of course there are bitches (and bastards for lack of nicer words) and some of them are in groups establish their petty power.
Feeling ostracised can be a very hurtful and negative experience.

There are indeed groups who behave in a insensitive and excluding manner to all who are not part of the group. Then again there are other people who form context-sepcific groups who are polite and kind to those who are not part of the group, or indeed to 'members' of their group. They get on well with their friends but still manage to be polite or even friendly to others.

This actually makes me feel sad reading this. I used to be obsessed with seeing what everyone else is doing and hoping ill fortune on the girls I didn't get on with at school.

Now I've deleted facebook, even though the urge still comes over me sometimes, I keep away from it all. I found it just as competitive as school, who has the best life, gadgets, holidays, schools, kids etc etc. It just made me unhappy and constantly comparing myself to these people.

Much happier now

I was lucky in that the "in crowd" at my school were also blessed with intelligence, so by default I got to be one of them. They were also nearly all very good at sports, which I wasn't, but they had the grace to let me be on their teams and put me in a position where I could do least harm.

There was one bitch who was considered top dog, but the rest of us muddled along and I think she was only top dog because she had the biggest boobs and the biggest insecurities, and I think we don't realise the blessing and confidence with people in later life that being the "in crowd" bestowed upon us - it's one of those lessons that is learned in hindsight. We didn't have the empathy at the time to wonder what school must have been like for those who weren't so fortunate.

It did leave me horribly insecure about my looks, which is daft, because, again through hindsight, I know I wasn't the ugliest amongst them. Most of us have gone on to do okay with our lives, with a range of jobs from highly successful women who run their own businesses, to accountants, teachers, etc. I will admit to a certain amount of schadenfreude that time has not been kind to the previous "top dog" bitch, though mostly I wish her well.

I was viciously bullied by the "popular" group at my school. It ranged from name calling and rumour spreading to actually jumping me. I had my nose burst, a chunk of hair ripped out and my hair set on fire. I was losing my hair with the stress, I wouldn't leave my house in case they saw me out in the village and I walked the 2mi to and from school come rain or shine so they couldn't do anything to me on the bus.

Almost all of them are total wasters now. The main girl who made my life a misery is 24 with four kids to three dads and just married a man who isn't related to any of them. She doesn't work from what I can tell and posts rants on facebook about how she'll "kick fuck out of" anyone who dares question her parenting. Lovely.

I also remember being on the receiving end of some unpleasantness from the 'popular' crowd. It all went very quiet when the O level results came out, after which many of them left clutching their one certificate.

revenge is indeed a dish best served cold.

hopefully they grew up to be reasonable individuals.

I have absolutely no idea, because I lost contact with these people, oh, about 2 days after I finished my exams. And had no wish to find out any more about them. Maybe I'm strange, but I have no friends from school on my facebook, actually no friends from school full stop who I've stayed in touch with!
I was sort of in the popular crowd as I was successfully sporty and liked music. When I went to Uni I lost touch with most of them, and then I moved abroad.

But there was a small gang who were "mature before their years", went to a certain, notorious, nightclub and hung around with older guys, make-up, crazy clothes. I thought they were REALLY COOL, too cool for me! Actually they were quite friendly, not particularly bitchy, just different from me. I always wonder what happened to them. One I met a few years ago by complete coincidence, she was working in a cafe in Camden and trying to be a fashion designer.

We didn't have a popular group at our school, it was a very small school (only 35 kids in my whole year) we did however have a gang of about 10 girls in the year above who where nasty bullies.

The ringleader would always be threatening to give somebody a beating while her cronies followed her around pandering to her.

Most of the girls in that gang are actually ok now, one owns a restaurant, ones a paramedic, one works in a bank etc a couple are stay at home parents.

The ringleader however has been in and out of jail since leaving school, is a heroin addict and has had 4 children taken off her as soon as they where born. Sad life really