To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

[Tistheseasonbear]

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

The cool girls in my class are all now successful women with families and careers. But I think most of the class ended up that way (selective grammar school back in the 1980's).

Weirdly, since we left school, the nasty cow who was a bully has been best mates with the nicest coolest girl.

I found that after the godawful teen years were over we all settled into just being 'people'.

Popular kids become so by exemplifying obedience to social expectations.

For the most part they have continued to do so. They live unexamined lives, which is both their privilege and punishment.

Why so much hate for popular girls? Or is "popular" a euphemism for something else?

Could someone clarify?

In my form. Not sure of all of them but a midwife a pilot a singer a doctor and a sahm. Quite a range. I was distinctly in the not popular / strict parents / full on outside school pursuit preventing us from joining in group. I surprised people by being the first anyone could trace with children (at 30 hardly headline material).

The most popular girl in my year was always beautifully made up with perfect highlighted hair, all the boys wanted to go out with her, all the girls wanted to be her. I was the nerd who was bullied by everyone.

15 years after leaving school, I was visiting my home town and popped into the local supermarket. There was popular girl on the checkout, greasy mousey hair and no make up, looking miserable.

I just felt dreadfully sorry for her. I suppose she would be one of those people that says your school days are the happiest days of your life

The "elite" girls at my school were good looking, academic and sporty. They had steady boyfriends who were the male equivalent of them. They are doing well now, I know because we're all still in touch. There wasn't a lot of mixing with the people like those you describe in your OP (anyone who thinks that comprehensive school is a leveller, is mistaken).

The queen bee at my school got that way by having high EQ and great social skills. She had better things to do than be mean to lesser mortals and although we didn't have much in common we recognised each other's positive qualities (we shared a dorm so I knew her pretty well). Her hangers on and wannabes otoh were vile, and lacking in both brains and imagination. I have no idea what happened to them but since I didn't particularly suffer at their hands I just hope they improved with age.

The one thing that I would guess at is that if the popular clique at school was defined by smoking then unless they kicked the habit quickly their faces have probably aged worse than the ones who were too uncool to be allowed behind the bike sheds,

I don't think a lot of people on this thread are actually talking about popular kids, just the 'hard' ones that tried to rule the school with fear.

I think there's a difference personally.

Aren't talking about the popular kids, sorry.

I don't think there was really a popular crowd in my school. Too many people, there were over 500 kids in my graduating class and not everyone graduated. There was the bitchy horrible girls that went out drinking and did drugs and had sex, but I don't think they were popular. I think the people who were the most popular in my school were the really smart, good Mormon boys and girls. They tended to do things like be in the musical, be on the school council, good athletes, etc. However, I wasn't really on the up and up so I could be totally wrong.

The prettiest girl in our year group married an equally pretty boy, has gorgeous children and a successful career. She is a lovely person and never made a big deal out of being gorgeous. I'm really happy for her!

The school bully who made my life a misery has done time and looks rough as arseholes!

Indeed roundtable, popular by force.

Never moved away from home, a lot of them were still teenagers when they had babies. They're all still in the same town having never left and have got children.

Well the popular kids at my school almost exclusively went to Oxbridge or Russel Group unis and are now doctors, lawyers, working in the media, working in the arts, doing pretty much any middle class job you can think off.

Some of them are doing exceptionally well in difficult fields due to their good social skills and large and ever expanding network.

The "popular" group at my school all seem to be doing pretty well for themselves from a quick look at Facebook.

I managed to be pretty geeky and still get on with most of them. My school was huge though with >300 in each year so maybe friendships were a bit less intense.

The hard face smoking crew weren't 'popular' at my school really. They were from the 'wrong side of the tracks' and ruled through fear and bullying and were not true my popular.

The bright, sporty, good all rounders from good home who matured early and became friends with th boys were popular at my school.

I should add that there were lots of middle class, polite, academic, now-successful pupils at my school who smoked, had sex, got drunk and even took drugs.

Quite a range here too but some married to famous people and travelling the world, some have fantastic careers in the media and are often on TV, others are SAHM - all doing well for themselves though. Used to feel bitter about this (as one in particular was a terrible bully), but then I realised it was pointless and said more about me than them so have let it go

There was a 'rough' group in our (all girls school) that fits the OP's description. They weren't popular, just feared! The 'popular' girls were the kind and clever ones.
Some pretty unkind gloating over people's adult circumstances on this thread

15 years after leaving school, I was visiting my home town and popped into the local supermarket. There was popular girl on the checkout, greasy mousey hair and no make up, looking miserable.

I just felt dreadfully sorry for her. I suppose she would be one of those people that says your school days are the happiest days of your life

You felt dreadfully sorry for her after seeing one little snapshot?

If you'd bumped into her the day before/day after, she might have had clean hair and some make-up on, looking really happy

Yep not my experience at all from the 80s or my teenagers experiences now. Or my older kids.

The popular kids are the nice kids who are well liked and kind.

Some are 'caked in makeup' and some arnt.

This is a nasty judgy thread and I am not suprised some posters were unpopular at school if they were as catty and judgy on looks, having children young and intellect as they are now.

The ones who I thought were most popular, the group with the big loud characters, smoking drinking nice clothes just cool looking gang, most of the girls do look abit rough now, but mostly nice enough people.
I realise that actually me and my group were really the most popular because we were a mixture of abit cool and abit geeky at the same time. Think parties at the weekend and top set for everything. Most of our gang keep in touch and we've all settled down with ok to good jobs and nice happy lives.

In my year group you could pretty much use the words "popular" and "bullies" interchangeably (obviously that's not true everywhere).

The main ones that bullied me still live in the small town I grew up in. Most have bar, retail or sales jobs locally, a few commute to London for secretarial type work and there are a few with their own small businesses (balloons, cupcakes, crafts, etc) . Most have kids, some are SAHMs. I am a member of the local Facebook group and I like to see what everyone's up to!

Those of us who were bullied for being geeks have mostly gone on to have successful professional careers, with an assortment of Oxbridge degrees, PhDs and notable success in competitive fields. With the exception of one who had a major psychotic episode related to the bullying and hasn't ever been able to hold down a permanent job and is in and out of various units.

most had children younger than planned it would seem, one is a known crack addict, one is in and out of prison and the others are doing fine, jobs happy family.

but I could same the same for the "non" popular ones too, so I think it's just all smoothed out and nobody is utilising anyone anymore because we're not 14 .

It seems quite clear to me that for some posters "popular" went hand in hand with serious bullying. I think it's actually ok to have some schadenfreude in those cases.