To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

[Tistheseasonbear]

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

The popular group in my class (large mixed comp in the 70s) of which I was a member were the clever kids (we were the A stream) most of whom went to University. I suppose they did all end up in "conventional jobs" - lawyer, couple of doctors, accountants, teachers. Most got married and are still married to the same person.

There is a huge desire to 'conform' and 'fit in' at school and I agree that the more distinctive, unusual, creative or introverted pupils often feel a bit on the outside and overlooked by their peers, and are often the ones who really come into their own outside of the conventional structure of schooldays.

The popular and well liked girls at my school were, in the main, the nice, 'normal', conventionally pretty girls who wore fashionable clothes, were outgoing and confident and basically just 'fitted in'. So by their nature they also tended to move on to respectable jobs, marriage in their twenties and a couple of children. I'm sure most of them lead contented and happy lives.

The ones who have gone on to be successful in the arts and related fields were more likely to be seen as a bit 'different' at school, or to paddle their own canoe. One of my friends is really creative and works in a related field and told me that while she has no problem making friends at work, put her back in any kind of classroom situation such as night classes, and she feels herself freezing up and 'not fitting in' all over again.

We'll can we at least agree that the sweeping generalisations of wearing makeup, marrying early and not being clever equals bullies.

while the no makeup wearing clever types manfully struggle through the mire of life to triumph and live to see their former bullies work part time in boots and look down trodden.

Ffs isn't that Romey and Michelle's high school reunion plot

Great film but fiction!

Utter bollocks

I agree that there's a lot of stereotyping going on in this thread.

I can understand on a human level that people like to feel that they've triumphed over the nastier girls at school. But the post where someone was basically sneering at a former schoolfriend, whose only crime seemed to be that she looked good and all the boys fancied her, because she'd seen her recently working a supermarket with 'mousy hair' and looking a bit fed up was quite unpleasant (not to mention silly. As a couple of posters pointed out, she'd caught a five minute glimpse of her on what was possibly a 'bad hair', 'feeling a bit fed up' day that everyone has no matter how 'successful' their lives).

I'm pretty sure I was never a bully at school, I hope not, but on the other hand, I don't think I was very nice. It was dog eat dog, I was unhappy, I didn't know where I fitted in, so I probably flitted away from 'real' friends towards more 'popular' friends sometimes, in the mistaken belief that it would make my day to day life more bearable. And I know that I didn't bother getting to know people because there was something trivial about them that put me off, or because someone else had sneered at them and I didn't want to be the one to rock the boat. On the other hand, I didn't tease or sneer at people, and I felt massively sorry for people who seemed to be even more isolated than I felt. But I was 'friends' with girls who did sneer. And instead of standing up to them, I kept my head down and felt grateful that I wasn't on the receiving end of it. And now I'm an adult I wish I hadn't done that.

Well it depends vvega on how selective that sharing of experience is. I'm sure I could think of a couple of not very nice girls at school who became pregnant in their teens and ended up in dead end jobs. But it happened to nice girls as well.

Some posters just sound ridiculously bitter and still somewhat jealous.

Because the attractive, popular girl from school may now have a 'shit life' or had a baby early, people are taking enjoyment from it.

Makes me question who the bigger bitch is.

well I had 2 schools secondary...

popular ones from fee paying convent:-

1 is living with a man, in a good career, has a teenage son and though very nice is still a bit stuck up. Her sister who was a real ugly duckling has blossomed and seems 'normal'.
the other 1 (who also bullied me) calved early (love that expression!) and then calved in her 30s... but she was very spoiled but didn't know her father and found him I think in her 20s. She also changed by deed poll her name from her stepdad's/adopted dad's to her real dad's. After I wrote her an email forgiving her for bullying me we are now 'FB friends', she wants to meet up. I can't type much more here but her life and lifestyle now is a complete turnaround from her teenage and young adult years.
1 is a recluse but was a bit shy anyway.
the super clever one who was always a rebel non idea in fact I don't know if the others have heard from her.

Girls school - common kids (lol joke!)

1. I was BFF with the main popular until about 4 years ago, she is still an egocentric person but has so many dramas that after one of them (involving her GF and GF's friends) I lost the plot and we now don't speak, which I'm a bit sad about.
2. super popular very pretty girl peaked in late 20s then spent about 10-15 years with a man older than her moved up north (from south) and now I think down south not sure if with anyone, no kids. she was quite bitter and insecure last time I spoke to her over a really trivial incident or one that could've been gotten over if we were friends which we had been since I was 2-3 years old.
3. friend of 2 above now lives abroad, high flying job, no kids seems happy enough.
4. friends of 2 and 3 above one is a super popular journalist I think one of the 3am Mirror journos... was a plain Jane at school now married with kids.

a few of the above are on FB a few aren't. i think some of the ones who knew me are surprised as I now come across as super confident, good career and nice person. but no family which I don't really regret. If I'd wanted DC I could've...

other people's lives are their own though and so's mine. Life is what you make it and I didn't find that out until recently/past few years.

oh the popular ones from the convent no.2 had known me from school before and wanted me as a 'project' when I changed to her school. I was a bit of a rebel and knew my own mind and made my own set of friends which meant she then turned on me... for what?! not being her friend and in her group... pathetic.

Eh popular groupin our school were popular bexause they were friendly and nice. Now the so called 'cool" ones were different kettle of fish. I'm sure they're all grand now though. Just living their lives and doing no better/no worse than anyine else..not sure what they're doing and whether they had babies young or looking anymore haggard than anyone else...I'd hate to be hung up in groups at this stage in my life

Yep the catty stereotyping on this thread makes me wonder what some were really like at school.

Presumably sneery superior catty teens too.

I went to a very academic school the popular girls were the successful ones, many are still very popular a lovely in a non-bitchy way.

I was in our schools 'popular' crowd. And yes there was smoking, drinking and make up. Just like the rest of the year. Some had kids young and are housewives now, some travelled the world, some got 1st class degrees from redbrick uni's, most are happy, I don't see any individual as more 'successful' than any other. We all live the life we wanted and while we're not still 'bestfriends' we do meet up mow and again and I know if I needed them they'd be there.

There will always be bitches around at any age and I don't know anyone who's the same person they were as a teenager. I bitterly regret spending so much time and energy on boys, looking a certain way and the politics of certain friendships back then but I learnt from it, I have a strong moral compass, I try not to judge too harshly and try to remember that things are different behind closed doors.

Some were bitchy then and are lovely and kind now. It's tough being a teenage girl, I wouldn't want to do it again!!

I don't know about the haggard thing but I do remember my mum saying I should keep an eye on the nerdy boys, they'll blossom after school and she was right! The sporty popular boys got fat and bald,the nerdy blokes are hip, handsome and have good jobs. Dammit!

Well said chwat. I was in the popular group and am doing fine now thanks. Not haggard. Not selling younique or similar. Had first baby at 28. Working in a professional industry, so sorry to say you can't take pleasure in my miserable shit adult life as it's actually quite nice thanks

The popular girls were the bullies in my year group. Not all were pretty but they were fashionable and in the know about parties, boys, make-up, music. I was so young and inexperienced in comparison.

There was a queen bee and the other girls fawned over her. The boys fell over themselves and although she enjoyed the attention, never dated them as she was interested in 18/19 year olds.

I left school well over 20 years ago but can recount events as though they happened yesterday. I had an awful time there and did not belong for the whole five years. As a teenager that is hard to bear. There was no place for me - even my so called friends did not accept me.

I do not see anyone at all by choice - no contact whatsoever. I have bumped into a few people. I am not interested in their life and I doubt they even remember me.

The bullying no longer hinders my life and I am doing well career wise, in happy marriage etc. It has taken years to scrape of the shame and worthlessness that comes with being bullied. I cannot even begin to explain the feelings I suppressed for five years

Lovinglife I agree with you in that respect but they were bullies or just superior.

I was always pretty/very pretty but quite shy and kept myself to myself apart from a few friends. I think I tended to have a tendency to talk about others (bitch?) but didn't know it was bad or didn't learn so I got bullied. but for other stuff too.

The queen bee/bully in my convent could do no wrong her parents were very wealthy and owned a cool business so she mixed with stars and at one party I remember being talked about another popular girl went to it with same outfit as queen bee but an inferior version or queen bee looked better. Queen bee also drank more was more precocious, attractive to boys etc but she got into trouble. when she 'bullied' me it seemed like she was jealous as my mum was nice, took me out, spoiled me etc whereas hers worked or stayed home and was nasty to her. backed up by email I and she exchanged a few years later on FB.

Well, my school didn't have a 6th form and the 'popular' girls weren't very academic, most of those didn't go onto 6th form to do A levels, although some went on to do courses at one of the FE colleges in our town that specialised in vocational courses rather than traditional A levels (I'm very old, so not ASs). From the ones I have heard about/seen on facebook, most married/had DCs young, still live close to where I grew up, and are living normal but not very afluent lives (most have a lower standard of living than their parents had with similar aged DCs). Interestingly, most of the 'cool' girls did look a lot older than they were at 13/14 and have continued to look older than they are now.

The 'popular' boys at my school have had a much bigger mix. Some arent really achieving much with their lives, some did go on to do A levels and Uni and are doing rather better. Quite a few joined the army and seemed to grow up fast.

The 'popular' boys and girls at 6th form college were different, all have gone on to be popular and successful adults, the only ones who aren't earning small fortunes have 'opted out' and living terribly cool hippy style lifestyles making crafty things in places like Scottish highlands and Cornwall. (I am always jealous of their FB posts). To a man, every one of the previously popular boys at my 6th form now has at least one photo on their FB with them in lycra on/stood next to a bike!

Interstingly, some of the popular crowd at 6th form had been at my school first, but none had been particularly popular then.

Good lord

Do some people really refer to a women having babies as 'calving'?

What a horrible phrase

Sinister opinions should be based on facts!

Are you really agreeing that popular girls are all bullies who slap on the makeup are thick and destined to have babies young and live miserable lives?

Really

I am not saying bullying doesn't occur of course it does at all ages and in all places but to generalise this way isn't an opinion or fact it's just daft.

I wear lots of makeup and had my first 2 babies in my early 20s. I was neither thick or a bully thank you.

My dds are popular and are made up, fake tanned, dress fashionably and are clever popular and nice.

The biggest bitch I remember at my school was a girl called Catherine who was mega clever, never wore makeup, a vicars daughter and a spiteful cow.

Generalisations are so boring and stupid.

my observations are that the popular girls did well and the ones who were bullied haven't done as well.

My school year was big on academic merit. There was one very pretty, sporty girl who was very popular AND well liked as she was kind to everyone. I didn't have an issue with her or her friends and until recently, would have said that almost our whole yr group was friends (notwithstanding the usual teen angst) as it was a high achieving one in general (lots of drs, architects, engineers, business owners). That was until I ran into a woman who was in my school year that said she was ignored, felt invisible and hated every single one of us. It then occurred to me that there were a small number of people that I never saw outside school and only really realized then that it was due to them never being 'asked'..it was before mobiles and we all just used to meet in a big group at the same place each week so it felt very inclusive but I see now some people were very much out of it. I was also told that I picked on someone but I genuinely have no memory of that.

In my school (1980's) one of the most popular girls does not seem to have done well. I want to defriend her on FB but am strangely drawn to the passive aggressive posts and arguments with family played out on FB. It also satisfies my inner bitch that she looks 10 years older than me.

The girl who was a bully is now out as a lesbian and sent me a FB message to apologise for her behaviour. Which was unexpected 20 years on but made me wish her well and hope she is in a good place now.

The girl who was most bullied I had to defriend on FB because I couldn't bear to see her plaster her hurt at her husband's affairs to the world. It was awful to see the marriage crumble on FB.

I was one of the geeks at school and have probably done as the others expected - uni, marriage, career. There again, most people from school only see me on FB (living in a different country) so don't really have a clue about my life other than snapshots on FB.

Oh Dear WorraLiberty

I was going to just apologise if I had misquoted you as I couldn't be arsed going back through the thread, but from your last I see you are determined to trawl this thread looking for comments to offend you.

So be offended, as you wish.