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Original poster

To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

351 replies

Tistheseasonbear · 15/07/2015 23:29

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

OP posts:
Twowrongsdontmakearight · 18/07/2015 11:40

Having watched Mean Girls etc my DD asked me about my schooldays. I think I naively wasn't aware of a popular group in school, just different groups of friends with different things in common. I suspect there will have been a group who thought of themselves as 'in' but the rest of us wouldn't have noticed.

At sixth form there was one boy most had a thing for. He had a slightly camp, uncool older brother. From what I last heard the 'hunk' was running a sub post office while his brother was running a branch of a major accountancy firm overseas!

Belleview · 18/07/2015 11:43

jaykay Sad yikwym. I was a party goer too, and on FB see many who spend way too much time on nostalgia as if the best years of their lives were to do with partying. It was age appropriate, is all.

microferret · 18/07/2015 12:01

I'm friends on FB with one of the popular girls from my school and a couple of the boys, and from what I can see the girls married young and had kids pretty quickly and all still hang out in exactly the same group of friends and live in the same place. The boys are all still friends and live in the same city too. I think for them, school really was the best time of their lives in many ways and they've held onto it and never been able to fully move on. I think those of us that didn't enjoy school much have lived more adventurous and varies lives tbh. There's an episode of Friends that deals with this same phenomenon so if it pops up in popular culture it's almost certainly a common occurrence.

PoundingTheStreets · 18/07/2015 12:13

I don't remember there being a popular group at my school. There were several different groups - the geeks, the naughty kids, the quiet ones who just got on with it, the flirty group, and sadly a couple of kids who were the 'saddos' (e.g. smelled of BO), who of course with the benefit of hindsight probably had terrible home lives and we all should have been nicer to them. Sad

I didn't fit into any group, but neither was I a loner either. I just got on with everybody and quite enjoyed my school years TBH.

I have no idea what any of my old school friends are up to now as I left my home town at 18 and have lost touch with everybody as a result of moving so often. I imagine they're quite a varied bunch today, just as they were then.

Belleview · 18/07/2015 12:22

Jane Austen said 'early to flower, quick to fade' , always struck me as a sombre observation.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/07/2015 12:32

We were having a chat about this last night when one of my friends revealed she had been Dux of her school. I wasn't surprised, as she is obviously clever, but for various reasons does a very low paid, menial part time job. I was a slacker at school but earn pretty well. Harder to judge happiness - we are both just women doing the best for our families in our own ways.

NatGeo · 18/07/2015 12:36

Jane Austen said 'early to flower, quick to fade'

In the case of the prettiest girls at school then, that is so so true Sad

Jux · 18/07/2015 12:38

The popular girls in my school were the rich and intelligent ones. Tended to be good looking (at least well-groomed). Some married almost as soon as they finished school, but it was a naice Catholic school so they kind of had to (and no, generally not pg, prob most were virgins). Their husbands are almost certainly successful professionals. This was back in the early-mid 70s. I haven't kept in touch with anyone from back the , but I do see many of them wandering about at the church when I go back there.

The less bright girls were the ones in short skirts, lots of make up, drinking and smoking. A few of them left school at 15/16 due to pregancy and all of those got married before the baby was born. I don't see any of them wandering about at the church though, so no idea what any of them are like now. Most are happy enough, I hope.

MrsBertMacklin · 18/07/2015 12:41

Looking back, my school was the same as Pounding's: indie kids, sporty kids, rude bois and studious types, but we all rubbed along very well and I went between the indies, sporties and studious group. There was the odd flare up, normally caused by a misinterpreted conversation, but no teasing, bullying or exclusion.

Last I heard, almost everyone from my year was happy and doing well, with a few people going on to high-profile jobs or high calibre jobs. Most of them for me were predictable, the big surprise for is one girl, who was very sporty, a little bit geeky and showed no interest in anything other than netball and running, has ended up doing a very high profile, glamorous job in high fashion.

chickenfuckingpox · 18/07/2015 13:01

one became a heroin addict one married a rich guy the rest sort of ended up doing the same as the rest of us one disappeared forever the addict surprised me she was so popular and nice everyone was sure she would go far and she lost her kids got arrested for shoplifting and all sorts she pulled herself out of it though i think she is clean now but it was still a surprise of all the people to go that way i would never have picked her

OnlyLovers · 18/07/2015 13:12

I've no idea. I had a terrible time at secondary school and had no friends apart from a couple who with retrospect I can see were stringing me along and picking me up and putting me down at will. They would turn on me when it suited them, to fit in with the in-crowd.

This isn't a nice thing to say but I don't particularly wish any of them happiness.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 18/07/2015 13:46

One of the popular crowd in my school went to the same University as me.

At the end of first year I went into the bar in the uni union and saw her. She had piled on weight and was face down on the sticky, dirty floor, drunk as a skunk (middle of the day), her jeans were not quite covering her (now considerable) arse and her thong was showing a lot. She seemed to be finding it funny. I just stepped over her and thought "how the mighty have fallen".

She then failed first year and dropped out. Went back to mummy and daddy and went to another university near home. I think she's sorted herself out now and got married.

Another one (male, same uni) didn't make any friends with anyone in halls/uni, everyone disliked him (probably because he was an arrogant prick who had never had to make friends with people before, because he was in the rugby team at school and idolised). He got into physical fights with his flatmates in halls and also left after first year, returning home to mummy and daddy also, and the little safety bubble of back home where little Lord Fontleroy was worshipped.

SunHighInTheSky · 18/07/2015 14:07

God, I hate the descriptor "menial" used about a job.

Kvetch15 · 18/07/2015 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geekymeeky · 18/07/2015 14:29

What is the criteria for judging success? Some of the things described seem pretty ordinary to me and one person's good job is another's idea of mediocrity.

Kvetch15 · 18/07/2015 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/07/2015 18:24

I used the term 'menial' to mean more than unskilled - it is also hard, physical work my friend does. I perceive menial jobs to be both unskilled and physically demanding - not sure why the descriptor offends so much, these jobs exist.

MadHenLady · 18/07/2015 20:22

God, this is such a mean, nasty thread. Such disdain towards women who had children young, who have the audacity to look their age, or who don't have a career as glittering and shiny as the poster who is gleefully mocking them.

With that kind of attitude, no wonder some of you weren't popular at school. I wouldn't want to be your friend- one daft teenage mistake and you'd probably remind me of it and gloat for the rest of my life.

MadHenLady · 18/07/2015 20:27

and I say that as somebody who was severely bullied, more or less from the second I stepped into primary school, onwards. Being bullied turned my life down different paths, not all of them good

But good grief, I'm an adult with bigger concerns over laughing over how Cheryl in 4th form has got wrinkles

mammuzzamia · 18/07/2015 20:34

With that kind of attitude, no wonder some of you weren't popular at school

That's kind of victim blaming. Some people were suicidal after severe bullying. Definitely not deserved. You can't really blame them for feeling angry and negative about the people who inflicted the pain.

MadHenLady · 18/07/2015 20:39

I'm hardly victim blaming, considering I'm a victim of severe bullying myself, both physical and emotional. How do you know I wasn't suicidal? Not everybody who has posted on this thread have said they were bullied, have they?

Lots of people are just talking about how the popular people have crap lives now, ha ha.

Just because you weren't popular doesn't mean you were a victim of bullying.

Just because someone was popular doesn't mean they were a bully

VinoTime · 18/07/2015 20:49

I was a 'popular' girl in the second high school I attended. I went out with older boys, smoked, went to the pubs at 15, etc. I had a blast Grin

Generally speaking, the girls I was in the group with went on to university and have very promising careers. Some are starting to settle down, get married and have babies.

I went on to uni. I also had my DD young (20). I've always been a single parent. I've worked a few crappy jobs to get me to the good job I have now. I have enough money in the bank, a nice house, a beautiful daughter, a lovely friendship group and a family who I love to bits. I don't have a career or lots of fancy degrees behind me, but I'm possibly the most content person you will ever meet. Life's thrown me a few curve balls and I've made some silly mistakes, but you learn from them, pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

I really enjoy my silly little lot in life. If people want to judge me - that girl from school who used to be really popular - for anything, they can batter in. It's no skin off my nose. I'm happy, and that's as successful as a person can ever hope to be Smile

Anniesaunt · 18/07/2015 20:54

Thank you madhen for reminding me I never deserved any friends. Although I would like to point out I haven't gloated over any misfortunes nor did I ever claim that any of the criticisms of me weren't based on fact.

I had typed a longer post stupidly trying to defend myself a hit more but suffered an Internet blip and can't see the point retyping it. I'd be kidding myself if I tried to argue it wasn't all my own fault.

TisNotMaidenly · 18/07/2015 21:04

Annie, my heart goes out to you but, very kindly, please do not let your schooldays dominate your future.

They really aren't important (I spent three years being BARKED at, for goodness' sakes!)

MadHen was making a point about the thread as a whole. Not your good self! You said yourself - you did not gloat, so why think the hen was talking to or about you?

Sounds like you've been kicking yourself harder than anyone else Flowers

MadHenLady · 18/07/2015 21:07

Where was I directing anything at you, Annie?

I've already said it's not the victims of bullying I'm surprised at. It's natural to resent and dislike people who have made your life miserable, be it school bullies, an abusive partner etc.

It's the people who were average at school, just weren't part of the in crowd, and now feel the need to gloat over the ''popular'' girls apparently losing their teenage good looks and promise. It smacks of schoolgirls sniggering in the locker rooms with their friends, when the head girl gets dumped by her boyfriend.