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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a teaching assistant should not do this......

157 replies

Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:39

My child came home from school upset and distress after a teaching assistant covered his mouth and nose with their hand and telling my child to shut up.... My child was extremely upset. I complained to themed who told me they would investigate. After school the head then told me the ta had not lost their temper and that it was done in jest. I am completely disgusted the ta has got away with such behavior. The head belittled me for complaining and dismissed the whole incident as a joke

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 16/06/2015 22:42

Very hard to generalise. Depends on:

  • age of child
  • personality of child
  • relationship between child and TA
  • presence of other adults in the room
  • context of the 'joke'

So I think you could BU or you could NBU. Sorry, not very helpful!

NobodyLivesHere · 16/06/2015 22:42

Maybe it was a joke?? How old is the child?

cuntycowfacemonkey · 16/06/2015 22:43

How old is your child?

It sounds plausible that someone might do that in jest in which case I don't think I would be that upset.

Did your child say they raised their voice? What was the context? Hard to say really without more details.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:43

My child and the children witnessing certain,y did not think it was a joke and he was very upset and he is 9

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PtolemysNeedle · 16/06/2015 22:44

This is totally one of those things that you have to have been there to be able to make an accurate judgement on what happened.

It could have been completely harmless, even being a funny thing that made some children laugh, or it could have been abusive and frightening. Kits saying the TA covered a child's mouth isn't enough to go on.

Either way they shouldn't have done it, if only because even if it was harmless, it could be taken the wrong way.

Pastaeater · 16/06/2015 22:44

Did they actually use the words "shut up" to a child? That in itself is unacceptable imo.

PtolemysNeedle · 16/06/2015 22:45

If it wasn't a joke, what was it for?

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:46

Yes shut up and came up behind him covering his mouth and nose hard ..I think it is unacceptable but was just looking for opinions

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ollieplimsoles · 16/06/2015 22:49

My child came home from school upset and distress after a teaching assistant covered his mouth and nose with her hand and telling my child to shut up.

It'd be the last thing that TA ever did if that was my kid.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:49

My son was talking to another child so the ta came up behind him and did this ... :-(

OP posts:
LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 16/06/2015 22:49

I would be going to police.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:50

Well I complained and then the head had a go at me for telling. The ta to keep their hands yo themselves . The head had done nothing about it and they both tried to make out it was a joke and make me out yo be the bad guy for saying something

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MrsKCastle · 16/06/2015 22:50

Not acceptable, even as a joke it crosses the boundaries. If it had been a joke, the TA should have apologised to the child as soon ad it was obvious that they were upset.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:52

I have been God I should go to the police of the head of education .. Just think it's shocking the head even let this happen but yo have a go at me for putting ta in place is shocking

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:52

Been told I should go to the police sorry not God

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 16/06/2015 22:53

Really Lady? The police? I'm not saying the Op shouldn't take it seriously but the police is a rather hysterical over reaction IMO.

Joke or no joke I think it's fine for you to tell this TA in future to keep her hands to herself.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:53

Not even an apology to my son or me she just smirked at me telling me her conscience is clear when I told her I disgusted with their behavior

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 16/06/2015 22:53

Hands go on a child for their comfort or if the child is at risk of injury also preventing kids from maiming each other at out primary .

There was no reason for this TA to put hands on your child, whether as a joke or not.

Tiptops · 16/06/2015 22:54

I don't think it's appropriate, even as a joke. I wouldn't dream of doing this to any of the children I've worked with, no matter how good/ playful the relationship.

PtolemysNeedle · 16/06/2015 22:54

So you had a go at the TA then?

Koalafications · 16/06/2015 22:54

The police? Really?

Hmm Confused

ollieplimsoles · 16/06/2015 22:56

Any other mums of the kids who saw what happened willing to back your complaint up?

YouTheCat · 16/06/2015 22:56

But then again, you really shouldn't have confronted the TA over this.

thornrose · 16/06/2015 22:56

How did you "put the TA in her place"?

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:56

I just told her to keep her hands to herself and was then told by the head to watch how I was talking to staff... They should watch how they treating the kids double standards or what I am appalled that they have not taken my complaint seriously my son is still upset by this

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