To think a teaching assistant should not do this......

[Mumiboo1]

My child came home from school upset and distress after a teaching assistant covered his mouth and nose with their hand and telling my child to shut up.... My child was extremely upset. I complained to themed who told me they would investigate. After school the head then told me the ta had not lost their temper and that it was done in jest. I am completely disgusted the ta has got away with such behavior. The head belittled me for complaining and dismissed the whole incident as a joke

I'm all for the teachers disciplining my kids and back them up in most situations, I think I'd react in the same way as you op I'd tell the TA to keep their hands off my child, then officially complain.

The head is protecting the TA, awful but a fact! He/she wanted to squash it quick to 'shut you up'

OP, you know your own child and I would be more than annoyed. Don't speak to the head about it again, document what is said to your ds over the next few days/weeks from this head/ta.

Follow school procedure and take it higher. As a practitioner myself this Is unacceptable (but does happen).

I'm a TA, neither I, nor anyone I've ever worked with would ever do this- it's completely inappropriate!!! Joke or not! Christ.

I'm not liking this O.P.
The HT said the TA lost her temper, well people can free to flame me and sing the, she's only human chestnut but if she can't keep her temper with children then she should not be working with children and the HT basically dismissing it as a joke. Is a very serious safe guarding issue. That ofsted would want to and should hear about, and In case she has not noticed you not your dc are laughing.
All that you have to be there is B.S. No adult should ever be putting their hands over a child's mouth. Not just for physical reasons but for hygienic reasons, too.
Don't allow folk to wade in who probably would not let the wind blow on their own tell you that you are over reacting

TA randomly walks up to a child in the playground, puts their hand over their mouth and tells them to shut up? And assuming this did happen, the head wasn't interested. And now the OP is going to have to go to the police because their child couldn't breath.

Yeah, that didn't happen. It's so implausible that I'm ready to call bullshit over the whole incident.

Read the whole thread and confused.

When I read threads like this I always wish I could divide the replies into those with and those without safegaurding training. Completely unacceptable to cover a child's mouth and nose, even in jest, and any person working with young people should know better. The fact that the head is covering for the TA suggests that he or she has not made sure that staff training is up to date! I work with young people for a voluntary organization and if I behaved that way I would be suspended!

Read the whole thread.

VERY unlikely indeed that we have anything like the whole story here, if indeed the whole thing isn't a load of bollocks.

If the TA did this at all then of course it was unprofessional, but I would be wary of taking the word of a 9 year old as complete gospel.

My guess is that OP's son was being mouthy and was told more than once to stop. Children are known for embellishment after the event so the story given to OP by her son was a huge exaggeration. OP then takes this as the absolute truth and approaches the TA all guns blazing and in an aggressive manner. The head teacher sees this and quite rightly warns OP to back off.

I like to take these playground stories Chinese whispers with a healthy pinch of salt. OP is coming across as one if those parents, who are convinced that their child can do no wrong.

Complain to the Daily Mail OP. They would probably pay you very well and put up some sad-face photos too.

I am coming down into the camp calling bullshit.

OTT - OP ! I am imagining a kid disturbing the class and the T a is near by and places hand infront of mouth and nose without putting it on the kids face...to try to get the kid to be quiet ...In a joking way , not clamping the hand over mouth and nose , A bit like the shhhh gesture . You were not there you have no idea in what context it was done and you refuse to listen to any other feedback other than that of your child....have you asked his firends/ classmates.?
calling the council, FGS .

I think so often that rather than assuming a child is embellishing or lying, a quick investigation by the school and then clear dissemination of the facts uncovered would be the most helpful course of action.

I found very quickly that a brief written note to the classroom teacher was the best route for all concerns. Politely documented with no emotion and a little distance before a response was given for both sides. A polite note is also less likely to be misinterpreted, nuanced or altered as the message goes round because it is what it says.

Parents also know their child best and I do sort of take exception to the notion that all children are lying little tykes and all parents take their children's words as gospel. I think I could tell when my children were genuinely upset and when they were reacting to something disproportionately.

If what the OP has written is true then what happened was totally unacceptable. Even if it is only half true then the head could have handled it far better on the basis that heads should understand that parents, quite rightly, get upset and cross when their children are distressed and they feel that distress could have been avoided.

This is wrong on so many levels. You do not tell a child to shut up or cover there mouth. Do a email this morning stating all contact you've had and the results and why you're not sattisfied. Send that to the head teacher and governors. Then contact ofsted and put in a copy of that email. Then you have covered all ground off complaints procedure and take it from there. This really is not acceptable under any cercumstances I would of gone crazy at the ta never mind just telling her to keep her hands to herself

I am a TA. Even if a child was 'being mouthy', I would not put my hand over their face, or say the words 'shut up'.

Why? Because I wouldn't expect to see that sort of behaviour from any of the children in my class, and we lead by example. Oh, and because the children in my class have enough respect for me to stop talking if I ask them to.

If anyone working within school has to resort to manhandling and rudeness to discipline a chatty child, then that person really needs extra training.

I am actually staggered that this person is being defended by the Head. I understand that we are all human and she could be under a lot of pressure, but she hasn't apologised and is calling it a joke! A joke is supposed to be amusing to both parties, not leave one upset.

Iliveinalight the head specifically said that the TA did not lose their temper

Complain to the governors OP. This is totally unacceptable.

I hate that on these types of threads there's always some who suggest the child is a liar. These are the type of people who's fault it is that some children don't come forward to report any sort of abuse of power. I would never automatically assume my child or any child was a liar and those that would ought to be ashamed. Follow the complaints procedure op.

There is a child I know who has, to date, complained about 6 TA's and one teacher. Each time his parent has gone into school all guns blazing to be told that the child is lying. Each time the parent deflates, but then says something like "well something must be going on, he is definitely unhappy'. he has also had his friends back him up a couple of times, but each time, eventually the friends admit they were only doing so because he told them to. The child has admitted that school is 'boring' and he likes to make things 'exciting'

Going in guns blazing and writing to governors/council/police is a pretty daft thing to do. Follow the correct complaints procedure (it will be on the school website) and go from there.

I've read the whole thread, been a teacher for 21 years and deliver safeguarding sessions for new staff.
Obviously, if Junior almost died because the TA almost suffocated him and did so whilst he was just being his usual angelic self and now the whole class is so traumatised they all need counselling then of course Something Should Be Done.

But we all actually know that's not what happened, don't we?

50 years ago the conversation would have gone like this:
"Mum the TA put her hand on my mouth and told me to stop talking"
"Well dear you shouldn't have been talking"

Job done.

And the 'you know your child best' is so, erm, well, laughable.
Come on, we do all know what our kids are capable of saying and doing to get out of the mire when they've fallen in it, yes.

Have there been problems with this TA before, OP?

Kid is 9

Where did it happen OP? Playground?
So he couldn't have been talking/shouting/laughing and hadn't seen her coming up behind but his friends had, you know, in a jokey way?

I hate that there are always some people who suggest children are incapable of lying.
One nine year old nearly destroyed my dad's life, never mind just his career. He got told off, and he didn't like it so he took revenge by saying my dad had been physically hurting him. Dad was suspended immediately. If they'd been unable to clear him, he could have lost his pension and everything. As it was, the kid wasn't quite smart enough to invent plausible circumstances fast enough and after two weeks or so it was clear that dad was innocent. He did go back to work but he had to still teach the boy, and face the muttering a of 'no smoke without fire' of some of the parents. My dad doesn't even have a temper and never lost it with me or my sister growing up. He loved teaching. He retired at the end of that term when an opportunity arose, and came damn near to depression with the stress of potentially losing all his pension because some kid didn't like being told not to pick on other kids in the playground.
Kids do lie. To paint them as angels incapable of lying about how events took place if they realise they might get into trouble, for example, is just as stupid and dangerous as assuming all children lie about all events ever.
Sorry for thread derailing.

Well I came on here for opinions so thank you everyone for your input...the majority of you think this is wrong as do I. I will be complaining to the council and the governors as I think my child's complaint should be taken seriously and find the heads response so far is unsatisfactory.

Oh and there were other children who witnessed this incident ... He is definitely not lying.. He was and is genuinely upset. Thanks for your advice

Not many kids are out and out liars.

Many of them don't tell the whole truth though.