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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a teaching assistant should not do this......

157 replies

Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:39

My child came home from school upset and distress after a teaching assistant covered his mouth and nose with their hand and telling my child to shut up.... My child was extremely upset. I complained to themed who told me they would investigate. After school the head then told me the ta had not lost their temper and that it was done in jest. I am completely disgusted the ta has got away with such behavior. The head belittled me for complaining and dismissed the whole incident as a joke

OP posts:
morage · 16/06/2015 22:57

This is not a matter for the police.

WhetherOrNot · 16/06/2015 22:57

I would be asking my son why he was talking when he wasn't supposed to !!

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:58

He was supposed to be talking it was not during a lesson...and if a child did that to a teacher that would end up suspended but the ta does it to a child and calls it a joke I am furious

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 16/06/2015 22:59

I would make a formal complaint to the school Governors. Get a copy of the complaints policy from school tomorrow. As you've already done the second step (complaint to class teacher is first, complaint to head is next), I think you could go straight to step 3, which is usually complaint in writing to Chair of Governors.
Check your school's policy and follow it to the letter. Don't jump straight to the top as it will be returned to you with advice as above.

TheAnswerIsYes · 16/06/2015 22:59

i would put in a complaint in writing to the Head and copy in the Governors and ofsted.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 16/06/2015 22:59

Well to be honest you haven't handled it very well either OP. If you marched in angry telling her off without asking questions first then that is probably why you aren't being taken very seriously.

coffeeisnectar · 16/06/2015 23:03

The police? Really?

Very OTT.

So your child is chatting away to the point that the TA jokingly covers his mouth and says shut up. The whole class is distressed and your child is crying. You have a go at the TA and the head has warned you about the way you talk to staff. The teacher has confirmed it was not done maliciously but you want to know what to do know.

You tell your kid to stop talking in class.

PtolemysNeedle · 16/06/2015 23:05

It sounds like you're overreacting to me.

PyjamasLlamas · 16/06/2015 23:08

Can't believe some of the responses. Covering a child's mouth and telling them to shut up Shock

I'm a secondary school teacher and if I ever ever did that I would at the very least be in the centre of an investigation and severely reprimanded.

Teachers never ever touch kids unless they are a danger to themselves or others. That's teaching 101 at secondary school.

msgrinch · 16/06/2015 23:08

massive over reaction op. It was a joke that was taken the wrong way, no need to verbally abuse the ta and definitely don't involve the police. How ridiculous, the police have real crimes to investigate.

austenozzy · 16/06/2015 23:10

Coffee is spot on. Imo your kid needs to learn to stop talking in class. You've overreacted hugely.

I can only assume pps suggesting police involvement are taking the proverbial as that would be ridiculous and a massive waste of police resources and everyone's time.

MrsEvadneCake · 16/06/2015 23:10

The TA should not have behaved that way. Regardless of talking in class, parent then having a cross word etc. Her behaviour was wrong. I would write to the governors stating what you want to be the outcome (apology and assurance it's been dealt with/won't happen again) and a time frame for response. If you don't get the response then OFSTED. If your child was upset and they've laughed it off then it's not right.

PyjamasLlamas · 16/06/2015 23:10

You are not allowed to tell kids to shut up at school! Wtf? We would be in serious trouble for this. Do people not realise the rules for teachers? I'm so confused

PyjamasLlamas · 16/06/2015 23:12

And putting hands over mouth Shock I would never touch a child like this in the classroom. I'd be in total shit!

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 16/06/2015 23:16

How many people posting that the OP has over-reacted have actually worked in a school?

I have and you never put your hands on a child, unless it is to comfort them or to prevent something dangerous happening. Plus if you do comfort them you are meant to do that with another member of staff present so that you can not be accused of anything inappropriate.

OP - ask to see the complaints procedure policy and put it in writing. That way this cannot be swept under the carpet.

If you don't get anywhere with the head, go above them to governors. The procedure should be clearly laid out in their policy booklet.

Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 23:16

Well that's what I thought pyjamas .. That it totally unacceptable..and the way the head has brushed it off and then had a go at me for politely firmly telling the ta not to touch my child..,as the head obviously hasn't done anything but dismiss my cool,ain't..no thought for my sons feelings who now doesn't want to go to school due to this. I will complain to the council in the morning

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 23:17

I will complain to the council. Thanks everyone but I think it is out of order

OP posts:
PyjamasLlamas · 16/06/2015 23:19

Thank god Unwilling! I thought I was the only one who understood the massive child protection issues and acceptable rules for 'touching' with children.
Yes also we do have to make sure that if kids need comforting we don't do it alone

noblegiraffe · 16/06/2015 23:38

The council are not the right people to complain to. Chair of Governors next, if you feel that the head hasn't taken your complaint seriously.

As actions go, covering a talking child's mouth and telling them to shut up is not a police matter.

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 16/06/2015 23:41

Yes, if my child would come home with complaint like this, I would be talking to the police. Covering mouth and nose can be dangerous you know. Plus scary to a child if he can't breathe. Even if it is just for a moment.

mrstweefromtweesville · 16/06/2015 23:42

Tell Ofsted. This is absolutely unacceptable.

PyjamasLlamas · 16/06/2015 23:48

I agree about it being frightening for a child thinking they may not be able to breathe. Even if it wasn't actually hard.
I also agree however that it's not a police matter.
Also to the people saying it's just a joke what if someone did it to you in the workplace just as a 'joke' because you were being a bit chatty in the office. Children have just as much right not to be touched when they don't want to be as adults

arethereanyleftatall · 16/06/2015 23:48

How would the ta's version of the event read?

HarrietSchulenberg · 16/06/2015 23:57

OP, the correct way to handle this is via the school's complaints procedure, which is agreed with the Local Authority. I've posted an outline procedure above.

If you don't receive a satisfactory resonse from the Chair of Governors the next step is to reject his/her findings in writing and request that the Governors' Complaints Committee is convened. If that does not give you a satisfactory outcome you can take the complaint further at LA level and you will be advised of how to do this if you reach this stage.

Ofsted complaints are only for matters that affect the whole school.

I am a school governor (primary) and a TA (secondary) and this is the route to follow if you want a resolution.

MrsEvadneCake · 16/06/2015 23:58

She broke safeguarding rules meant to protect her and the children she works with. You do not do what she did.