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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a teaching assistant should not do this......

157 replies

Mumiboo1 · 16/06/2015 22:39

My child came home from school upset and distress after a teaching assistant covered his mouth and nose with their hand and telling my child to shut up.... My child was extremely upset. I complained to themed who told me they would investigate. After school the head then told me the ta had not lost their temper and that it was done in jest. I am completely disgusted the ta has got away with such behavior. The head belittled me for complaining and dismissed the whole incident as a joke

OP posts:
Koalafications · 17/06/2015 17:45

I agree with Tatty. And what on Earth is wrong with telling an insubordinate child to shut up?

It's rude and a child would be told off for telling another child to shut up. I would hope that a TA could lead by example, being the responsible adult and all. Hmm

I'm really surprised by the responses on this thread. MN really is like a different planet sometimes.

Thank goodness the most sane responses have came from the teachers who seem to able to deal with children without telling them to 'shut up' or putting their hands over a child's face.

purdiepie · 17/06/2015 18:36

Adults say and do things all the time that we do not expect our children to do. An excellent lesson to learn, imo.

Everstrong · 17/06/2015 19:00

If the head has agreed that the actions of the TA did happen and yet does not see a problem with the behaviour of the TA, then yes, I would be going to the governors OP.

It doesn't matter what the child is or is not like, those of us in positions of authority have to abide by safeguarding rules and behave in a professional manner.

I can't see how people think it is reasonable to tell a child to "shut up" then put a hand over their mouth. If the TA had been behind the child especially, a random hand suddenly planting itself on your mouth would be scary. she's lucky she didn't get bitten

I get kicked and sworn at by dementia patients at work, doesn't mean I can tell them to shut up or lay my hands in them. No, they are vulnerable, just like children are vulnerable and in all honesty if the TA is so quick to lay her hands on a child then she needs to reconsider her career options.

We had one particularly terrible TA who was vile, we joke about her now but at the time it was awful. She spoke horribly to the kids and breached confidentiality several times as she was good friends with the mother of a pupil in the class. I'll never forget the time when she blabbed about a child in the class who had been sexually abused. She was privy to the conversation which took place between the parent of said child and the teacher and felt it was okay to tell everyone.

She also used to tell whose children had head lice. Poor wee kids were getting bullied as all the other kids knew they had them after being told by their clearly not so pleasant parents

Ipigglemustdie · 17/06/2015 19:17

About twenty years ago my teacher put both hands round my neck (gently) and pretended to strangle me while shouting "Shut up! Shut up!". It was a joke and it made me laugh and stop talking.

Best teacher I ever had. If he had done that now he would probably be put in the cell next to Hannibal lector. Bit sad I suppose

Tequilashotfor1 · 17/06/2015 19:32

I teach children sports and I would be in serious trouble if I did this, in jest or not.

It's not acceptable at all. The lad was upset enough to cry about it - he certainly didn't see the funny side of it either.

If anyone did this to my kids I'd snap their fingers off. I bet they woundnt be smirking then

sleeponeday · 17/06/2015 19:37

Adults say and do things all the time that we do not expect our children to do. An excellent lesson to learn, imo.

Seriously? You think an adult in authority modelling appalling behaviour, and the adult in overall authority modelling the notion that rules and safeguards are there to be ignored, is an excellent lesson for a child to learn? Good Lord. What on earth happened to teaching by example - or dignity, in fact? The best teachers know that sinking to that sort of level loses the respect of the children, which in turn makes controlling a classroom well-nigh impossible to do.

middleeasternpromise · 17/06/2015 19:47

mammabluestar gives the correct advice OP - you refer these matters to the LADO and they investigate under safeguarding procedures. Whilst those of us raised in different times might be very familiar with this type of practice and see 'no harm' the fact is times have changed and anyone working with children now has to adhere to a strict code of conduct when working with children and getting wound up to the extent of covering a child's mouth even in jest just isn't on anymore. I suspect the school needs a bit of refresher training as if the Head seeks to minimise this then the culture is one of 'what's the problem' - well the problem with that is there may well be other safeguarding lapses if the thinking is 'those rules don't apply to us'.

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