Fallen out with MIL over manners

[WoeIsMee]

I'm really annoyed. I've NC for this.

My MIL had my children today and they've come back saying 'what' instead of 'pardon.' This is because mil told them that 'what' is correct which is clearly wrong - it's 'pardon.'

I'm really annoyed as correct manners are so important, also it's undermined me.

WIBU to ring her and tell her she's wrong and ask her to tell the children that she was wrong?

Let it slide. As long as they say pardon at home I wouldn't worry. Just tell them u want them to say pardon

Read old thread on this here what or pardon

'What' is posher. 'Pardon' is considered non-u by those wot lead posh lives...

Are you serious?

Why wouldn't I be serious?

She is right.

Why is it even an issue? Depends on the tone of voice used, but I wouldn't be at all bothered

I often say either, and don't consider either to be rude or bad manners.

I've never said "pardon" in my life and I'm still alive.

Pick your battles. (Or pay a childminder, which is way all these threads go)

Yes, YWBU! But she was also U to say 'what?' is correct. You should both be saying, 'Different people use different words. In this house we use x'.

I would correct my DC if they said pardon but I'd stay well out of correcting it in any grandchildren if a DIL had taught them to say it and silently judge the fuck out of her JOKE

Yabu to feel undermined because of this.

Agree with castle, explain that not everybody says the same thing.

She's actually right.

But there's no reason why they can't be "bilingual" and say "What?" or "I beg your pardon?" in grandma's house and just "pardon?" in yours.

My children are the other way round- we're a "what?" house and grandma's a "pardon?" house!

the thing is she is right, but should not be undermining you.
I could not stand to hear children saying 'p'dern? p'dern?' but each to their own.

Yes, 'what' is right.

'Pardon' means sorry.

'what' is correct.

Both are correct, surely. You will make a fruit loop of yourself if you phone to complain about any such daftness.

Pick your battles. This would be a silly one to pick.

I'm with your MIL here. 'Pardon' is a way of saying sorry, like 'pardon me' or 'I beg your pardon?'. Just saying 'pardon?' as a question is a bit... low brow?

Agree with upthread, explain that some homes have slightly different rules.

I can't believe people are saying 'what' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!

Pardon is as wrong to 'what' as serviette is to 'napkin'.

HTH.

What is DEFINITELY right

Wind up. I would LOVE to know who you are usually OP. Quiet day at the office?

"at' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!"

Truly, really don't!

I had no idea that "what" is more polite than "pardon"

I always say "pardon?" or "sorry?" if I didn't catch something the first time. I went to school with a lot of people grunting "what?" or worse, "eh?" so I don't like how it sounds, it's very abrupt.

Your MIL is correct, OP.

Although 'what' is technically the correct term, general usage can come across as rude. 'Pardon' is widely accepted as the social nicety.
I would just tell the children that you'd like them to say pardon or excuse me. Depending in your relationship with MIL, mentioning it could be more trouble than it's worth but correcting them in front of her would get your message across.

I hate 'pardon' and 'sorry' and worst of all 'I beg your pardon' which is invariably said by eg teachers who heard very well what you said. I simply tell them that they have no need to beg....
'What' does sound a bit rude, so we say 'What did you say?'