Fallen out with MIL over manners

[WoeIsMee]

I'm really annoyed. I've NC for this.

My MIL had my children today and they've come back saying 'what' instead of 'pardon.' This is because mil told them that 'what' is correct which is clearly wrong - it's 'pardon.'

I'm really annoyed as correct manners are so important, also it's undermined me.

WIBU to ring her and tell her she's wrong and ask her to tell the children that she was wrong?

How about 'what the fuck! speak up cunty?'

Maybe not.

Think yourself lucky op. My Mil uses 'fart' 'shit' 'moosh' and 'belly' (as in belly ache, whereas in our house it is tummy ache)

However she also saves me paying out for a childminder every Friday so I keep my thoughts to myself and remind myself that I parent dd the rest of the time.

I am a regular poster (penis beaker, Pom bears) and this isn't a wind up
Yeah, right

"Just saying" - there's another one that grates! Blech.

Especially when applied to something no-one has actually said!

(and, in 19655 Nancy Mitford did indeed write a piece on it, where she quoted from an academic paper on English usage by Professor Alan Ross, the linguist who did coin the terms ‘U’ and ‘non-U’. HTH )

how about 'OI CANT WHAT THE FACK DID YOU SAY@?

I usually just say "sorry?" but then I may just be an overly-apologetic person.

Never "pardon", though

Definite wind up. Hits too many MN sore points in all the antagonistic ways :o

Slightly too obvious. I give it a 4 out of 10

Come again?

sunny It was in a school in Drumchapel in Glasgow...my (very Glaswegian) MIL's favourite story from her teaching days, hands down.

As a tot I apparently once toddled through the kitchen shouting 'I NEED A WEE FOR JESUS CHRIST'S SAKE!' much to my father's horror as he had uttered that very phrase the day before after dropping a box on his foot

Yy CatthiefKeith my mil has the most grating estuary accent and drops h's and everyfink. She doesn't do childcare in case DD picks up the accent

Just tell them to say 'what' twice.

Hey presto! Problem solved. They'll out-posh everyone.

I tend to say "sorry, what" or "what"; I don't mind pardon either but don't use it.

People objecting to pardon usually do so because it rings their class alarm bells, it is considered a lower class thing to say, much like settee or serviette.

Falling out over it is an overreaction to a minor difference in opinion, tell your children different houses, different rules, so YWBU to ring her. It really is not undermining you and her manners are as correct as yours.

I kind of want to OP to 'correct' her MIL because it would be hilarious when she reports back. But don't actually do it, OP, because you will look very silly indeed.

What?

My husband's suggestion is 'Whit th' fuck did ye say ye daft bawbag?' which I believe is the correct form in the circles he moves in

Ask yourself if you really would like to fall out with your MIL about this.
Let it go there are worse things they could have said.

I can't see why people think this is a wind up? More than half of the people on this thread think that 'pardon' is correct so I can't be so wrong.

reni - what-what is asking for someone to agree with you "That's a dem fine filly, what-what?", it means, "wouldn't you say?" so that wouldn't really work.

[wonders where the Jeeves and Wooster omnibus went]

Pfft OP is new ish

A REAL old timer would say Tatiana/Links are my nemesis/OXO tower/wnaky baskets

you're half wrong though clearly. 50% of us think you're wrnog, the other half agrees with you. Therefore, it is a non-issue and neither you nor your MIL are wrong, you just have a 'preference'. Let It Go.

I think we use the correct term in our house. EH??????

You're not reading the thread OP. Pardon is correct if you are lower middle class or below (and nothing wrong with that). What is correct if you are middle to upper middle and above (and nothing wrong with that either). There's probably a sort of grey area in the middle where people feel they should say what but worry about it and end up saying sorry.

In any case, it is a total non-issue. The best way to tackle it is 'different houses, different rules'.

I say 'what's that?', 'what did you say?'.

"More than half" - oh dear. Did the same person who taught you your manners teach you to count? Nowhere near half of the posters agreed that Pardon was the correct term.

According to the book "Watching the English",

"The use of "Pardon" is the single greatest linguistic sin for the upper and upper-middle classes. It is considered far worse to say "pardon" than to be heard uttering a four-letter word. Lower middle and middle middle classes will use pardon. Upper-middle say "Sorry?". Upper and working classes tend to say "What?""

By all means, discuss this with MIL. However, depending on your relationship with her, expect the response to vary between amused laughter and hushed tones of shock . I don't think you are likely to get her to change her view!