Fallen out with MIL over manners

[WoeIsMee]

I'm really annoyed. I've NC for this.

My MIL had my children today and they've come back saying 'what' instead of 'pardon.' This is because mil told them that 'what' is correct which is clearly wrong - it's 'pardon.'

I'm really annoyed as correct manners are so important, also it's undermined me.

WIBU to ring her and tell her she's wrong and ask her to tell the children that she was wrong?

I want my children to have good manners and it annoys me that mil is trying to sabotage this.

I really wouldn't call correcting your children sabotaging you.

Can't resist:

How To Get On In Society by John Betjeman

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me

Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.

" I DO however take issue with people who think pardon is the ONLY polite stance - it's not "
yes that is slightly annoying, and it is usually nursery workers, childminders and so on. they also do not like children asking for the 'bog' or the 'shitter' and insist on 'toilit'.

I can't believe people are saying 'what' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!

This post gave you away OP. Complete wind up.

You haven't taught your children to say toilet, have you? If so, it may be too late for them.

It's to do with 'poshness'. So people think it is 'posh' to say pardon but I was taught that was what you said if you had been so vile as to burp in public. Some people would say it is LMC to think pardon is polite.

What is correct.

These threads are so useful for luring the raging snobs out of their hidey holes

I think you need to see some of the real problems with mils, people have on here if you actually consider speaking to your mil on this.

Could be worse op, she could have told them to say eh? instead

I hope if you do speak to her, your mil laughs in your face, I would

*I can't believe people are saying 'what' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!

This post gave you away OP. Complete wind up.*

^^
This

You're such a funny, genuine poster Woe.

Are you bored? Is it half term?

(BTW, it's "What?", never "Pardon?").

Erm woe I beg you please don't mention this to your MiL because

1. it would be unbelievably petty
2. she would love to know she's annoyed you by the sounds of it
3. she is right and you are wrong

Sorry but please don't . It's making me actually die of the cringe to think of you confronting her

" I was taught that was what you said if you had been so vile as to burp in public. "

OMG my granny would have had a heart attack, not about the burping or indeed farting, but the fact that you had been so rude as to draw attention to it.
And sorry but it is vile, I have to agree. Never forget a fortnight sharing a flat with someone who, when sitting in the kitchen, thought it appropriate to , let out a fart, and then shout PARDON!!
it drove me insane!

In our house we mostly say: "sorry, what did you say"
My American husband says: "l'm sorry" with his head slightly tilted?
op You say you are a regular hmm...

I grew up with napkin, sofa, sitting room, although DM didn't much care one way or the other about pardon and what. Serviette, settee and lounge I would always have understood as perfectly valid, they were just not in common usage in our house.

Possibly because my GM was a social climber in the mould of Hyacinth Bucket and my DM was desperate not to be anything like her

I do find it hard to believe that OP never knew this was "a thing", though.

It's mumsnet! The snobs don't need to be lured out.

Hmmm you want to teach your children to have "good manners" yet you consider making a batshit crazy call to your MIL? I'd reconsider my priorities if I were you.

So your kids were with your MIL for one day and on they have come back with a completely new response.

Err, how on earth did it come up? Are your DC usually this slavishly complient? Do you think if you are this particular about things you shouldn't ever leave them with anyone ever again?

If this happened to me I would just correct the DC and forget about it. It's not like she was teaching them swear words.

Presumably your MIL taught your DH to say 'what'

My kids say bog!

And that's on a good day!

In this house if we don't hear what another persons says we say,

'Sorry I didn't catch that ' or 'I didn't hear you '

If we are calling someone we answer with a 'yes'.

'What' isn't used as it is to abrupt and sounds rude and 'pardon ' is just the wrong context all together.

sunny I would rather my kids said bog than lavatory shudder

(which reminds me of a little girl in my MIL's infant school class who announced 'Miss, I need a DUMP!')

I don't give a toss what people say, as long as they don't go round loudly 'correcting' everyone else. Now THAT is rude, regardless of your peerage or lack thereof

" 'Miss, I need a DUMP!' "

aww bless her

Next thing you'll be telling us she calls the loo a lavatory or toilet!

Oiks everywhere!

It should be "what" but I tend to say, "I'm sorry?"