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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

something's not right with a guy at work who declares himself straight in work email signature

243 replies

Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 07:49

There's a particularly unpleasant guy at work, senior manager and acts like he is above everyone. I've annoyed him as I treat him like everyone else and don't just drop everything to help him when he asks.

Anyway he has an email signature that says "I'm a straight ally and support LGBT rights" and it has a little rainbow button.

Aibu to think that's not quite right? Who cares about who he fucks? And its 2015 not 1960 he's just stating the normal position of people.

Does anyone here work in HR? Could it be he's been disaplined on something and had to do a course and stick this in?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 26/04/2015 07:51

Disciplined for what, exactly?

BreacaBoudica · 26/04/2015 07:52

Or, could it be, you know, that's he's a straight ally and supports LGBT rights? Maybe he has a reason for wanting to support LGBT rights (more than the usual) but worries unsupportive colleagues might bitch about him and gossip about his sexuality?

ovumahead · 26/04/2015 07:53

He sounds like a twerp whose trying to be cool... Why not just ask him about it rather than going to HR? Or call HR and ask if it fits with the public image of the company...?

BrianButterfield · 26/04/2015 07:54

It's weird to have anything like that as your work email signature though - you wouldn't have "supporting animal rights" or even "supporting Manchester United" - it's irrelevant in a work capacity.

Eigg · 26/04/2015 07:54

Erm, it's a little unusual but I'm not clear on why you find itso annoying?

I'd just assume that he has a LGBT friend or relative and wants to be supportive.

richthegreatcornholio · 26/04/2015 07:55

Maybe he has a gay child or sibling?Perhaps he just feels strongly about gay rights?

YouCanCallMeBetty · 26/04/2015 07:57

Surely the point of the message isn't to say he's straight but to say he supports LGBT rights? Which is surely a good thing...? Don't quite see the problem tbh

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 26/04/2015 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honkinghaddock · 26/04/2015 07:59

Odd in a work email but nothing unpleasant about it.

HandMini · 26/04/2015 07:59

Putting info like that in your email signature? Hmm, well depends a lot on your industry etc. I don't think it's that usual.

BUT, what is wrong with calling yourself a straight ally? I think it a perfectly reasonable way to support LBGT rights while acknowledging that you don't have personal experience of the position. As a Pp said, v much appropriate if you have a sibling/parent/child who is LBGT.

TapDancingMollusc · 26/04/2015 07:59

We had strict guidelines what we could put if we had an email signature. Anything other than "Think! Do you really need to print this email?" had to be authorised.

But then that was in an environment where if you emailed to say "I'm taking lunch at 1 today" it would get printed and would be left sculling around on the printer for days.

StrawberryMojito · 26/04/2015 08:00

If he's a senior manager then he is above you and you probably should stop and help him if he asks. Why would you deliberately annoy him.

Re his email signature, maybe he is your firms diversity champion or maybe it is a cause close to his heart (gay relative perhaps). It's unusual but I can't see why it bothers you and I absolutely can't believe you would expect to see him disciplined for it (and I suspect from the tone of your post you would like this).

HeyDuggee · 26/04/2015 08:00

So the senior manager acts like a jerk trying to manage you, and he doesn't like you because when he assigns you a task, you fail to prioritise and don't assign his task the urgency he tells you it requires...

And you're hoping he's been disciplined and because of what he's chosen as his digital signature?

I think you need to focus on your job instead of your dislike of a senior manager.

OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:02

I like the way your thread title says "he declares himself straight" ( which could imply he has an issue with gay people) - when the reality is he supports LGBT rights).

And its 2015 not 1960 he's just stating the normal position of people

You'd have thought so. But it isn't for some people. There are still people out there who are not allies of LGBT people.

StrawberryMojito · 26/04/2015 08:02

Oh, sorry, you think he's had to put it in because he's been disciplined...I doubt it.

AuntieStella · 26/04/2015 08:06

I agree with previous posters that it depends on the norms of your specific workplace. As you say he's senior, he probably understands them.

If you want to find reasons to dislike someone, then go ahead use this to knock him. But whilst you're doing that, please never assume you know why that person sees something as an issue that still needs overt support.

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 08:08

Well its just I refuse to brown nose him, was annoyed the other day as I didn't give up my lunch break to have a working lunch with him - I had other plans and wanted some sunlight and fresh air.

Anyway its doesn't annoy me, just wondered if it's a thing. Surely if he was some diversity champion he'd say that rather than what he did. I support lgbt but I don't put it in my work signature.

He seems like the type to say homophobic things so I'm wondering if he's been caught out.

OP posts:
RedCrayons · 26/04/2015 08:08

I've never seen anything like that on a work e-mail, so its a bit unusual.

Sounds like you're looking for excuses to not like him.

OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:09

I've annoyed him as I treat him like everyone else and don't just drop everything to help him when he asks

Do you want some work advice? He's the senior manager. If he is the senior to you, and a manager, I would treat him differently.

Just saying.

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 08:09

He maybe a level higher than me. But I have been there a few years longer and it's not something I've seen before. Its a technology company

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:11

Still senior. The thing about bosses is they have power over you. Like it or not.

SouthWestmom · 26/04/2015 08:12

'He seems like the type' or he actually has? Think your dislike is getting in the way of your professionalism. If he's a snr manager treating him like everyone else is a bit silly.

EdithWeston · 26/04/2015 08:13

A senior manager is 'above everybody'

And a working lunch is an important thing, for the business and for your professional development. You've shown him very clearly that you are not interested in progressing. Your choice. But it also means that you won't be given the important, experience-building tasks that lead to promotion.

And there is no 'type' for expressing homophobia. You've either heard him make homophobic remarks or you haven't.

GraysAnalogy · 26/04/2015 08:13

If a senior manager asked me to a working lunch then I'd go, as long as it wasn't an everyday thing. That's not brown nosing. It's a respect thing.

Sounds like you're being awkward.

Kasey86 · 26/04/2015 08:14

Is he perhaps doing something for charity and the link maybe goes to a funding page or similar?