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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

something's not right with a guy at work who declares himself straight in work email signature

243 replies

Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 07:49

There's a particularly unpleasant guy at work, senior manager and acts like he is above everyone. I've annoyed him as I treat him like everyone else and don't just drop everything to help him when he asks.

Anyway he has an email signature that says "I'm a straight ally and support LGBT rights" and it has a little rainbow button.

Aibu to think that's not quite right? Who cares about who he fucks? And its 2015 not 1960 he's just stating the normal position of people.

Does anyone here work in HR? Could it be he's been disaplined on something and had to do a course and stick this in?

OP posts:
shewept · 26/04/2015 08:15

So basically you are just trying to find out if he got in trouble, rather than having a problem with something he has put in his signature?

YABU in that's case. If he has done it for this reason it's not your business. I don't understand why you want to know if he has been disciplined.

It actually sounds like you are the one with the problem. I am not trying to sounds nasty. But it's how it comes across.

TiggyD · 26/04/2015 08:16

He seems like the type to say homophobic things so I'm wondering if he's been caught out.

Is it his eyebrows? I hear you can tell homophobic people by their eyebrows.

Or are you just imagining other bad traits about him due to you not liking him?

shewept · 26/04/2015 08:17

He seems like the type to be homophobic?

Can you explain that? I genuinely don't understand how you can tell he is the type to be homophobic.

JontyDoggle37 · 26/04/2015 08:18

In our company there has been a massive drive on 'bringing your whole self to work', which has included people signing up as straight allies and being open that they've done it, so the email signature would not be seen as unusual in our global firm.

watchingthedetectives · 26/04/2015 08:19

Sounds like there is a lot more going on here than meets the eye.

Most professionals unless they had a fixed lunch appointment would agree to a working lunch with a senior manager - that's not brown nosing that's part of the job.

It sounds as if you are looking for trouble OP

Charis1 · 26/04/2015 08:19

Nothing what so ever wrong with his email signature, I think it is quite nice.

A LOT wrong with your attitude towards him, you are the one going to end up disciplined.

He must be a pretty relaxed manager, in most positions, you would have been already.

Ubik1 · 26/04/2015 08:21

Funny. Two threads now using phrases such as 'straight ally.' Confused

It's odd that someone would feel the need to declare this on a work email signature - unless it's part of a company campaign or you work promoting gay rights.

But it's not a big deal.

Summertimemadness · 26/04/2015 08:21

I agree it's unusual but you seem to have a problem with this man. Maybe tackle that rather than his signature.

MythicalKings · 26/04/2015 08:21

He's senior to you. If you don't respect the man you should respect his position in the company and be co-operative. Working there longer than he has doesn't give you special privileges.

As a senior manager he is above you, get used to it.

You sound like a nightmare to work with, actually.

FluffyMcnuffy · 26/04/2015 08:23

I've seen it done in companies before.

I like it actually, because believe it or not a lot of people at work (both clients and internally) are still not comfortable talking about gay families.

I think it's a brilliant message from senior management saying "it's ok to be openly gay here".

OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:23

I know the answer. Based on my MN experience.

You are jealous. You applied for the same job but didn't get it so you want dirt on him

Ubik1 · 26/04/2015 08:24

Oh perhaps he is a diversity champion.

It's actually a good marketing idea for these issues - you get managers to adopt it on their email signature and it raises awareness.

Actually I think it's great. Good for him.

Eigg · 26/04/2015 08:26

My Senior Manager is a great guy, brilliant to work for, dynamic, supportive, flexible etc.

However, if I declined a lunch meeting on the basis of 'needing some fresh air' or in fact on the basis or anything other than an actual appointment (like docs or bank or something difficult to reschedule) he would take a very dim view of it.

Charis1 · 26/04/2015 08:28

very very odd not to go to a working lunch if told to. I'm not surprised he is annoyed. Obviously this is not ok at all. if you are told to attend a working lunch by a manager, that is what you do. I can just imagine the look on my managers face if I said no thanks I want to go and get some fresh air! I'd be unemployed very swiftly indeed.

BuriedSardine · 26/04/2015 08:30

I think if you see are attendance at working lunches as 'brown nosing' you should perhaps spend some of your time in the sunshine and fresh air examining whether you are working for the right company.

I'm struggling to see exactly what your senior manager has actually done wrong.

CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 08:30

It does seem a bit unusual but I like it. As an LGBT employee I can guarantee that he is doing a lot more than 'stating the normal position of people'. It's bloody hard sometimes and knowing that your boss has your back is a huge deal.

Also, it's normal to have a working lunch.

Ubik1 · 26/04/2015 08:31

The only thing that would bother me is asking people to declare their sexuality.

I would have suggested a little rainbow and 'supporting LGBT rights' or something along those lines .

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 08:32

Ha well I should of left the personal differences aside for this, was just giving some context as I'm probably biased.

He only gave 10 mins notice wanting this working lunch, regularly schedules things when I can't attend as have to leave for childcare.

He seems like the type as he's used the word bugger several times, which I don't think is appropriate and has said a few sexist things.

OP posts:
BadgersNadgers · 26/04/2015 08:32

Fancy some ketchup to go with that chip on your shoulder OP?

Pommes · 26/04/2015 08:33

Our firm has similarly had a 'Proud to Be' campaign running to raise awareness of LGBTQ diversity, with people sharing their experiences or declaring themselves to be 'straight allies' - this wouldn't look out of place at all. I think he's using his email signature as a tool to reinforce positive messages, of equality and inclusion. I agree the "straight" ally perhaps looks like an odd choice of words if you have not been privy to such (hugely positive) campaigns.

OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:33

TBH - if he is a diversity supporter - or a supporter of equal rights at work for all, it should say more than just LGBT.

There are plenty of groups who face discrimination. But that could be a very long email signature.

Feckeggblue · 26/04/2015 08:34

I used to work in a company where this was a standard signature item. The company were on stonewalls top 10 gay friendly list and this was one of the things they provided to recognise that. I've never given it a thought

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 08:35

That's it UB, I'd think a "supporting lgbt' is fine but why the need to declare his own sexuality?

Anyway its just words in an email SIG, easy to type and by no means makes any lgbt employees life easier. He's never mentioned lgbt in work or at socials,and I've never seen I'm included in inclusion and diversity.

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 26/04/2015 08:35

He seems like the type as he's used the word bugger several times, which I don't think is appropriate

Well that's going to go down well on here.

notquiteruralbliss · 26/04/2015 08:36

I would just imagine that it means he is involved with the LGBT activities within the organisation in some official capacity. Especially if he is a senior manager. It would not be a particularly unusual sig in the Investment Banks I work in. They tend to have well funded, well supported LGBT programmes and senior managers are encouraged to get involved.

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