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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

something's not right with a guy at work who declares himself straight in work email signature

243 replies

Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 07:49

There's a particularly unpleasant guy at work, senior manager and acts like he is above everyone. I've annoyed him as I treat him like everyone else and don't just drop everything to help him when he asks.

Anyway he has an email signature that says "I'm a straight ally and support LGBT rights" and it has a little rainbow button.

Aibu to think that's not quite right? Who cares about who he fucks? And its 2015 not 1960 he's just stating the normal position of people.

Does anyone here work in HR? Could it be he's been disaplined on something and had to do a course and stick this in?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/04/2015 09:29

Excellent points there Down

FragileBrittleStar · 27/04/2015 09:31

i realise the thread has moved on but- just to say we have the ally program here - people can declare themselves allies of the LGBT network- I am not sure it goes in signatures but it is public (senior managers would have it in their profiles/stickers to put in offices etc)- the idea is that other people know about it so that if a LGBT employee is struggling then they know who they can get support from.

I think its a good thing. However it is also a sign of involvement with the corporate culture etc (these things help to show engagement/networking etc) so I can see that they are an irritant when you are disengaged

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 09:36

They have given no warnings so couldn't go down dismissing on performance anyway.

OP, in your thread on the employment board you say you've been invited to a meeting where you've been told you may be dismissed?

Are you taking union/legal advice? Well I'd assume not union advice given your political leanings, but it seems to me you have a fundamental lack of understanding of employment law and I think you need some proper advice before your meeting.

Oh and a horrible employer could well dismiss you without following due process. The onus would then be on you to appeal/go to tribunal which us costly and carries risk. Some employers bank on this.

OrlandoWoolf · 27/04/2015 09:37

Why are people allies of just LGBT? Do these employers have other equality initiatives? It's not just LGBT people who face discrimination in the workplace.

Old people
BME people
Disabled people
People from different religions.
etc

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 27/04/2015 09:37

Not sure exactly what you mean Dawn? Where am I going wrong with my thinking? About the reference?

Even after 2 years you don't have much rights, as I will find out tomorrow. After 10 years of mostly excellent service I will be sacked after a few dodgy months, thats just how londom city companies work.

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 27/04/2015 09:39

After 10 years of mostly excellent service I will be sacked after a few dodgy months, thats just how londom city companies work

And schools.
And other workplaces.

ilovesooty · 27/04/2015 09:39

They may of course use this meeting to put a performance plan in place, which might lead to dismissal if there is no improvement in an agreed time frame.

ilovesooty · 27/04/2015 09:43

Orlando I imagine it might be directly related to the company being in Stonewall's top 100.

We're an Equality North East gold standard company so we have a more general corporate signature reflecting that (which everyone has to use)

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 09:45

Where am I going wrong with my thinking?

Because you seem to think that you'll come out of this with a mutually agreeable severance package and a reference that will secure you employment elsewhere which is a very dated way of thinking. Companies just don't operate like that any more.

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 27/04/2015 09:47

Down that was a typo on my part, I mean redundant not dismissed.

What do you think I'm lacking in? Ive taken advice from acas, an employment solicitor and a friend in HR that works for a similar company. I feel I'm very up to date and there is a lot of bull spouted here imo.

Lol a London city private company works very different to public sector!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof4worried · 27/04/2015 09:49

Well I'm pretty certain what will happen is that, as that's what usually happens and it happened to someone else I know a few months ago.

What do you think will happen then?

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 27/04/2015 09:49

So the OP works in the city with a company in Stonewall's Top 100 and the manager who has only been there for a few months recently asked her to attend a working lunch, she refused, she votes UKIP and has a meeting today. She may have 4 children.

I wonder if she is identifiable to anyone who knows her?

ilovesooty · 27/04/2015 09:54

Posts are made redundant not people. I'm surprised ACAS didn't tell you that.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 09:54

Down that was a typo on my part, I mean redundant not dismissed

But you've just used "sacked" on this thread too at 09:37.

And earlier on you said I never mentioned anything about getting a redundancy, I said package and I will get offered one (tomorrow!).

I think you need to understand if you're sacked/dismissed then you get no pay out.

If you're made redundant you will get some pay out.

If you come to a mutual severance agreement you will get some pay out.

But your company isn't obliged to give you redundancy or a severance unless it suits THEM. A company playing hard ball could just dismiss you. Cheaper for them. Obviously runs the risk of going to tribunal but you would need to stump up £1200 up front and risk paying their costs if you lose.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 09:58

Sorry in case the above wasn't clear - the terms sacked/dismissed/redundant/severance aren't interchangeable and each has very different implications.

letscookbreakfast · 27/04/2015 10:04

OP I'm begininng to hope that you get sacked and no 'package'. You're coming across as the 'nob' not the senior manager.

Feckeggblue · 27/04/2015 10:18

Tbh I have to agree with the OP to some extent- there are a lot of inaccuracies in this thread. A generic reference is standard nowadays. The way round this is to ask a senior colleague for a personal reference but depending on the role you're going for companies will be expecting the standard and that will often be enough (more senior roles would be expected to come with personal refs)

A compromise agreement is again absolutely standard. A relatively small pay out allows the company to get the employee out and ensure they are protected against legal action.

The OP isn't describing anything unusual. It might be a shit attitude but they are usually the people compromise agreements are for

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 10:27

Feckegg

Here, people can only give personal references in a strictly personal capacity - they're not allowed to mention work so they're actually pretty pointless. Anything which mentions what they are like as an employee/colleague must go via HR. Although I wonder what impact the age of LinkedIn will have.

References are funny though because generally I only ask for them after I've made an offer (well HR do that but you know what I mean), so I'm pretty sure I want the person at that point so only a "sacked for gross misconduct" type would make me reconsider. However, it is blatantly obvious when a mutually agreed reference is provided. The phrasing, everything is just off. If you were still at the deciding point, I can see how someone would use that to inform their decision.

Feckeggblue · 27/04/2015 10:31

I agree down

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 10:34

So this would be allowed:
"I have known Pauline for 8 years and have always found her to be pleasant, hard-working, punctual and a team player"
Bob Smith.

Whereas this wouldn't:
"I have worked with/managed Pauline for 8 years and have always found her to be pleasant, hard-working, punctual and a team player"
Bob Smith
Senior Manager
The Big Company

ArgyMargy · 27/04/2015 10:48

In my sector it is normal to only give "standard HR references" ie dates of employment & job title. I think there may be something about sickness but I could be wrong.

ilovesooty · 27/04/2015 11:01

Well Down I imagine they'd at least have to be truthful... Hmm

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 11:08
Grin

The reference thing is quite raw with me as I've recently had to put a lot of effort into a "when references go bad" scenario yet, I personally don't set that much stock by them unless they flag up something scary.

The secenario I had to resolve was a perfect storm of what happens when people go rogue - both the referee & the person requesting!

forago · 27/04/2015 11:20

OP - i would also think the sig was weird and unecessary - but harmless I suppose. Personaly I don't really see the relevance of your sexuality in the workplace unless there is discrimination or bullying going on based on it, which there doesn't sound like there is. You're at a tech company to work , not to have sex. I also liked your joke.

A lot of American city type firms have overdone it on the political correctness I think - which is fine until you see that it is just lip service. I worked at a US investment bank for 10 years which is on the Stonewall list, and on all the other lists for being a top employer - and it was appalling. I have never been more discriminated against in my entire life.

Anyway, leave him to it - doesnt really change anything anyway.

OrlandoWoolf · 27/04/2015 11:23

I suspect this thread will be going - seeing as another thread by the same OP is going to be zapped.