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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

something's not right with a guy at work who declares himself straight in work email signature

243 replies

Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 07:49

There's a particularly unpleasant guy at work, senior manager and acts like he is above everyone. I've annoyed him as I treat him like everyone else and don't just drop everything to help him when he asks.

Anyway he has an email signature that says "I'm a straight ally and support LGBT rights" and it has a little rainbow button.

Aibu to think that's not quite right? Who cares about who he fucks? And its 2015 not 1960 he's just stating the normal position of people.

Does anyone here work in HR? Could it be he's been disaplined on something and had to do a course and stick this in?

OP posts:
Sagethyme · 26/04/2015 10:03

Having just read your updates OP, it sounds as if you have just reached burn out point, so if you still want this job, be honest at your meeting, say you are aware of your poor performance, but your struggling to cope with demands at work and home, and since your performance has been string for 8/10 years would they consider giving you a career break. However i think its probably too late for that now, as unfortunately they will be going on latest behaviour where you come across as just being obtuse.

shewept · 26/04/2015 10:06

I think the OP should read 'i hate my job and can't be parsed, I have meeting this week where they will probably sack me. However a manager who I don't like or respect, may have been disciplined. As a result he has declared himself a straight ally in his signature. Is there a way I turn this possible disciplinary around on him so I get paid off rather than hacker's

Because that's how this is coming across.

Crocodopolis · 26/04/2015 10:08

OP, I asked ny best friend, who is a barrister specialising in employment law, about your case as you've detailed it here.

He suspects that your employer has been logging various incidents over time and will present these as a foundation for warning you about your future with the company.

Further, even if you joined a union now they would most likely not be able to help as most unions have a policy that you must be a member for a number of months before they can support you.

UncleT · 26/04/2015 10:08

Bottom 25? Maybe focus on your performance rather than the signature your boss has.

Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 10:11

Yes this thread has been a car crash. Anyway its distracting me from real work. So I'm going to flounce off, leaving a joke that probably only I will find funny.

My boss got a new car... (self.Jokes)
submitted 3 months ago by alex989233
..."Wow! that's a really nice car boss!"
"Lemme tell you something. If you set goals, work hard, and act determined, I can get an even better one next year."

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof4worried · 26/04/2015 10:14

Croc there is a lot more to my case than this, but thanks for that. Have only been working with this guy for a very short time, project based work.

Its a bit company they chew people up and spit them out daily, I'm fine I've got my next step lined up. He is still a dick though and encapsulates all that is wrong with city work.

OP posts:
RJnomore · 26/04/2015 10:14

Straighy ally is the same sort of idea as green champion isn't it?

Info here

www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/straight_allies_2.pdf

RJnomore · 26/04/2015 10:15

Sorry I realise the threads moved on a lot but I was surprised its so little known.

Aussiemum78 · 26/04/2015 10:24

So you were a top performer for 8 years, outlasted the average attrition rate and in return they overlooked you for promotion?

I can see the PP point about your bad attitude and wanting to dislike this guy but it sounds like the real problem is you were overlooked and are responding with resentment, dropping your standards and refusing to acknowledge that this guy is senior to you.

You have two better choices. Look for another job, or seek out mentoring/training to work out why you were overlooked. If you were overlooked because you are a female who leaves to go to childcare and can't work unreasonable hours I sympathise.

I've also been your boss. Walked in to a new job not knowing one of my reports applied for it. She was rude and difficult, no matter how hard I tried to get along. It was awful and wasn't my fault.

Umbongolongo · 26/04/2015 10:25

www.bury.gov.uk/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=11636&p=0

a quick google shows thats is a scheme he is part of
maybe so that people who might be having problems knows he's approachable?
hes not boasting, its a bit like saying he's a member

ilovesooty · 26/04/2015 10:28

"package to leave*

I'd imagine that if you're dismissed on performance grounds it will be minimal.

I've got my next step lined up

You've found another company that want a lazy arsed obstructive employee and will accommodate childcare that you need?

DrankSangriaInThePark · 26/04/2015 10:31

Gosh OP, lots of stuff going on. LGBT issues here.....UKIP stuff there.....whatever next?
As others have said, maybe there is a connection between your appalling attitude to your job, your manager and your colleagues, and your failure to advance up the career ladder.

ArgyMargy · 26/04/2015 10:33

Can I have your job when you leave OP? Sounds wonderful there is a firm in 21st century where you still get a lunch break...

Albadross · 26/04/2015 10:36

Someone earlier in this thread mentioned they thought stating anything about social movements etc was unprofessional in a work setting - I disagree - the more companies realise they have a moral responsibility to help drive social change, the more social change there'll be.

ilovesooty · 26/04/2015 10:39

I can't imagine how a self confessed UKIP supporter fits in with the ethos of a company with a really passionate commitment to diversity.

twirlypoo · 26/04/2015 10:39

I can see you have started another thread in employment regarding this so am assuming you won't be back here. Genuinely though. If you want to save this situation, go in and hold your hands up - say you have needed to concentrate on home for a bit but are now ready to focus on your role and ask for mentoring, extra support. If you want to turn this aroun and not get sacked, show willing. Make time on your lunch break, have a can do attitude. I hope it goes well or that you really do have your next move worked out Thanks

twirlypoo · 26/04/2015 10:40

Where's the ukip thing? Or have I been sucked in by an op with lots of contentious issues going on at the mo Confused

DrankSangriaInThePark · 26/04/2015 10:41

Quite sooty...my thoughts too.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 26/04/2015 10:43

Yes twirlyWink

RoboticSealpup · 26/04/2015 10:45

YABU. It seems like you're just looking for another reason not to like the guy.

shirleybasseyslovechild · 26/04/2015 10:45

so when he suggested working lunch you LIED that you had an appointment .

oh, so that's ok then...

twirlypoo · 26/04/2015 10:47

Ahh thanks for the heads up dranksangria Thanks

TheSecretCervix · 26/04/2015 10:53

OP you may wish to have some of your posts removed in this thread, from what you've said about your company, a quick google makes it quite identifiable.
I don't think any of the things you've said about your company and your boss on here would help your current situation.
I hope it all works out for you

ilovesooty · 26/04/2015 10:58

It's identifiable? Well if it's linked back to her UKIP thread it will certainly do her no favours. They might well sack her for bringing the company into disrepute without bothering with the performance route.
I'd expect someone working in a big company to use social media more sensibly.

ilovesooty · 26/04/2015 10:59

I meant if it's linked back in addition to her posts on this thread.