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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
shewept · 17/04/2015 09:23

Yabu sorry. I don't agree with the rule about holidays.

But your suggestions are not workable. They all mean extra staff being provided and your kids missing their exams.

You can't just take exams a week later or earlier. As your kids could possible be getting more or less prep time.

When is the holiday? Says are very soon, aren't they?

Pootles2010 · 17/04/2015 09:23

Sorry, YABU. I understand this wasn't planned this way, but the head cannot take a different stance, she isn't allowed. Holidays aren't allowed any week now, regardless of sats. I'm amazed that you're suprised by this, tbh.

NerrSnerr · 17/04/2015 09:23

Yes they do need to be strict. I know SATs are a pain in the arse but if they change the rules for you then everyone would be asking. It's a shame there was a genuine mix up but in my opinion education needs to come first.

shewept · 17/04/2015 09:23

Sats are very soon.

Littlemonstersrule · 17/04/2015 09:25

Your anger is with the wrong person. Did you really expect the teachers to give up their weekend or half term to do work your children will miss by going on holiday? It's not the Heads fault in any shape or form. She didn't book the plane.

If the SATS mean so much to you, change the dates of the holiday or don't go. Nobody needs a holiday, it's a nice extra. If you want the holiday then expect the fact that you miss the SATS.

NerrSnerr · 17/04/2015 09:25

'Is there anything I can do so my kids can take their SATs?' Yes. Don't take them on holiday.

kewtogetin · 17/04/2015 09:26

YABU for so so so many reasons I literally can't be arsed to list them all.
Of course the head will authorise your jolly and arrange for your children to sit the SAT's at a more convenient time for you!
I suggest you calm down and reread your post in a few hours, you'll cringe.

OwlinaTree · 17/04/2015 09:27

Is it Y2 SATs? They aren't taken on a specific day by the whole country iirc. They have to be administered in May.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 09:27

You want the school to give your children extra lessons after school or at the weekend to make up for taking them on holiday during SAT's week???
You really cannot be serious???? Shock

justjodie92 · 17/04/2015 09:28

The Year 2 SATs tests are based on Teacher Assessments, not the exact test results in May/June. The Head is probably just making her point to get you to not miss school. It certainly will not affect your children's school careers!

shewept · 17/04/2015 09:28

Our head is very nice and approachable and helps where she is allowed to. She wouldn't agree to any of your suggestions.

Personally, I think if kids have excellent attendance a week of for a holiday shouldn't matter, especially if they are doing well at school. Not a popular opinion but its mine. But I agree with the HT on this particular one.

Its going to be missing says or missing the holiday.

6LittleOnes · 17/04/2015 09:29

Yabu I'm afraid. The rules are there for a reason. You can't expect the teachers and the head to do extra work so your kids can take their sats at a different time to everyone else

Heels99 · 17/04/2015 09:30

I usually take mine out of school that week every year for holiday but due to sats I am taking them out the week after half term instead this year, they will miss 4 days of school but not the sats.

Your HT is not unreasonable. Your grandfather made an error, be cross with him instead or change the holiday or miss the sats or don't go in the holiday. lots of options. It doesn't matter whether they haven't been on a plane etc, that is not the point, the point is missing the sats. The solution of teachers coming on the weekend or holidays etc to do your child's sats is ridiculous frankly, what teacher would be prepared to do that because you made a holiday booking error, what about all the other people who would rather their kids did sats at the weekend, etc, for whatever reason. Who is paying this treacherous, you?!

You have messed up, don't be cross with the HT. It would be the same at most schools I can imagine, school doesn't operate on a flexi time basis.

PlasticCircus · 17/04/2015 09:30

I cannot believe this. Why should the teachers work extra time in their holiday and weekends just so your children can have a holiday?! Why are your children more important than the plans the whole school has in place for everyone else taking SATs who can stick to the right dates?

This has to be one of the most unreasonable, ridiculous posts I have ever seen.

OinkBalloon · 17/04/2015 09:30

Take the holiday and pay the fine. And don't give it any more thought.

KS2 SATs will not affect your dc's entire school career. They will affect the school's overall KS2 scores, which could, potentially, affect their Ofsted rating.

MenopausalMaud · 17/04/2015 09:31

I imagine that you are not the only family in your school requesting 'a compromise' which is why the school cannot really work around your request.

I work in a school (not a teacher) and we get many 'special requests' like this - each family thinking that their case is more special than the rest.
They too generally blame someone else for the booking.

Why didn't the granddad check the dates before booking? Surely if it is a family holiday he would have to check the date with you for other reasons too?

I'm sorry if this sound harsh but the rules are out there and well know, and yes I do have children!

shewept · 17/04/2015 09:31

The person you should be annoyed with is their grandfather.

Says aren't done in a particular day across the country and year 2 says are slightly different. May is 3 weeks away. The date will have been decided ages ago. The school isn't bu to not change this or provide staff during half term, weekends or evenings.

I am surprised he booked such an expensive holiday so short notice, and didn't double check the dates with you.

OinkBalloon · 17/04/2015 09:32

Sorry, KS1 scores, not KS2.

Heels99 · 17/04/2015 09:33

In your position, I would miss the sats and Pay the fine though. It won't be the end of their school,career, they won't be turned down for Oxbridge because they were in holidsy for the sats in year two.

Finola1step · 17/04/2015 09:33

I'm on the fence here. Agree with others that you shouldn't be taking the dc out of school during term time. But the school's argument of SATs week is ridiculous. Year 2 children don't have a SATs week like year 6. The year 2 assessments can and should be spread out over a longer period.

The school can choose to put all their Year 2 assessments into 1 week. But it is not statutory and your dc can actually do their assessments before or after.

If you do take them in holiday, be prepared for a big, fat fine.

Totality22 · 17/04/2015 09:34

YABU.

Although you and the kids may be happy to take exams early / go in at weekends I doubt staff are going to be quite as happy. Actually it borders on being entitled to expect staff to come in at weekends to suit your holiday arrangements!!!

Also it would set a precedent, which I completely understand the head teacher does not want to do.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 17/04/2015 09:35

Affect their school career Hmm Grin

Just go on the holiday and don't give it a second thought.

Even the Yr6 SAT's are meaningless imho. Secondary schools will re-examine the children with a different set of tests in Yr7.

You might get a fine but if grandad has paid for the holiday I'd just suck it up and enjoy yourselves!

Heels99 · 17/04/2015 09:35

How much will,the fine be?
£60 per child per parent per day so £1200?

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/04/2015 09:36

Cannot believe that you are angry that the headmistress insists you children attends school (exams are irrelevant IMO but if anything make it more important to attend) when you freely admit that you/ the granddad are the ones who have messed up on dates. I would be negligent if she said anything else. And to suggest that teachers ought to take time out to tutor your kids on the side. I feel so sorry for teachers sometimes, so much misplaced anger directed at them.

mojo17 · 17/04/2015 09:37

Miss the sats and pay the fine
It is a "test" for the teachers and school NOT individual pupils ans will not affect their school careers pfft
Have a great holiday

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