To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

[twinsplus1sfb]

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

Some people really are total dicks.

"I'm really looking forward to the weekend because I get to work unpaid overtime" said nobody ever in the history of the world.

The bungy jumping video shows an astonishing lack of self awareness.

Nobody wants to watch other people's holiday videos at the best of times but when you're actually skiving off school to make it and then want to take up valuable class time to revel in it? Oh my, what crushing arrogance.

Their grandfather made a mistake. Not the schools fault.

Personal responsibility does exist despite Tony Blair's government trying to abolish it so that there is more work for the legal profession.

despite Tony Blair's government trying to abolish it so that there is more work for the legal profession

Roffle. Are you a campaign bot Forall?

TO be honest I'd be pretty depressed with the education system if a week's schooling at this age but of if that week of schooling is important to you then it's certainly your responsibility to make sure your kids are there. The teachers have families and social lives of their own and have enough to do without staying late to help kids who have been away on holiday.

Imagine how you feel if your child's teacher was absent during an essential week of your child's schooling because they accidentally booked the wrong dates for their holiday.

This is exactly why I don't teach in the UK anymore. It seems that teachers are wrong, even when it's the parents who made the mistake.

I admit that until I read this, I hadn't realised "grandparent getting the dates wrong" was such a common excuse ... puts a whole different slant on it somehow

Even if we accept these particular SAT tests affect the school more than the pupils, it's interesting that it's often the entitled parents who are first in the queue to criticize a school with apparently poor results ...

My parents took me on holiday the week of my year 6 SATS. The week of the SATS was changed and the holiday was already booked, it was supposed to be the week after the exams that we went. Anyway, we went on holiday, I sat them the week after I returned from holiday and no adverse effect on my school career, still placed in top sets at secondary school, etc. I would take them on the holiday but wouldn't have suggested that they sit them during evenings and weekends.

If grandfather can afford the expensive holiday, presumably he can also afford to pay to change the dates.

I don't believe that he booked those dates "by accident". I think it was probably a cheaper deal to go over those dates and you thought it would be easy to get a compromise.

SATs are for the benefit of the school, not the child.

I'm guessing she'll find a spare TA to sit with them, at a convenient time, if they are bright children.

I can imagine the scene in the staff room when she relayed your suggestions about staff coming in at weekends/half term or staying behind though....

Yabu.

Now try having headmaster that won't let your DS take a day off to go to a family wedding, but will allow a child with a religious family that doesn't celebrate Christmas take a week off to go to Turkey the last week in the Christmas term, because they want to avoid the religious holiday all together. Grrrr.

The same rules have to apply to everyone.

The headmistress did not make the rules, but she has to apply them, like it or not.

I once had quite the opposite situation to the one described in the OP. It was before school holidays were published online. My eldest had just started school and they sent home a printed sheet of the holiday dates. Unknown to us at the time, they had published the wrong week for their October half term. We booked to go away for the week they had published, and we paid. A couple of weeks later they sent home a correction. I spoke to them about it, had our booking confirmation and also their original written letter on which we had based our booking. The headmistress acknowledged their mistake, and that I would be unable to get my money back for the holiday by now, and I had no problem getting the holiday authorised.

It is different for you, OP. The rules are much tighter these days.

Take the holiday, but pay the fine if one is applied (or perhaps grandad will agree to help out there). Don't let it happen again.

Don't worry about it affecting their entire school career. That is bollocks. It won't. Year 2 is teacher assessment. Even if they are not in school on the appointed day, they have an otherwise good attendance record. Their teachers know enough about them and their abilities to be able to place them properly when they move on to the juniors, with or without the SATS results.

Stop any suggestion that you would like teachers to cut into their own precious free time and holiday to facilitate SATS for your children though. I would apologise for that suggestion, although my guess is that you were under pressure from all sides at the time and were clutching at straws without thinking of the consequences for the teachers themselves. They do not get paid overtime. Just remember that.

Ensure that this is a one-off (and tell grandad so too, but tactfully), pay the fine if you get it and go with a clear conscience.

I agree with the holiday rules - there are 13 weeks in the year when children can be taken out of school.

Yes and the prices are more than double at these times so most families will never take they're children out of the UK. We've sent fake wedding invites to friends so they could actually afford to visit. Their DCs went to school with our DC's, rounded up cattle with the cowboys, ate new foods, saw wild animals they can only see in zoos in the UK and learned bush skills and truly slept under the stars. No classroom can give you those experiences. If it wasn't for us faking the system, they would never have those experiences.
Treating all parents in England and Wales like they're ignorant, neglectful morons to crack down on a minority of genuine ones is just

Their children

Take the holiday, pay the fine and be prepared for hassle getting the twins' targets set correctly in the next few years as the school probably won't go to great lengths to correct a situation of your own making.

So you where do you think the teacher will get the data for setting the twins' targets then? All of the other assessments they carry out throughout the year perhaps or do you think they'll just pluck figures from the air?

No child is going to have to endure years or even weeks of inappropriate targets simply because they missed Y2 SATs week. How ridiculous!

And tomato it's exactly like people like you faking the system that they've tighten up on things like weddings so now it is harder for genuine people with weddings can't get authorised.

I can't remember anyone from my primary school going abroad for holidays except one family whose dad was managing director for a huge national company, and I don't think we felt we missed out on experiences-we just had different ones.

Do not believe for a second that grandfather booked this holiday without checking with you!

Oh they do. My son used to go to an out of school activity. The teacher who ran it was bought a trip to Argentina by her parents for Xmas. They didn't check dates with her even though they must have known she worked for herself and had professional commitments. She took our money for the spring term before Christmas. Then told us we'd have to miss the first three weeks because her parents had booked her the trip. We did get the three weeks later but it was a silly thing for her parents to do.

On another occasion I worked in a team of 3. I had booked a week off months before. Just beforehand one of my other colleagues' parents booked a cruise for her as a surprise without checking dates. My boss let her go but was on her own for a week.

IF YOU ARE BOOKING TRIPS FOR YOUR KIDS OR GRANDKIDS please check the dates in some way even if you want it to be a surprise.

Regardless of SATS being "important" or not surely taking 3 kids out of school for a week is not a good example to be setting? To the OP's kids and it sets a precedent for the other parents. It's basically very selfish!!!

I know, I know that I'll get inundated with replies such as 'family time is much more important' / 'the cultural value of being abroad makes up for missing a weeks school' / 'it's the only time Dad could get off and the only week family will be together' etc..

Sorry but I don't consider any of the above a valid excuse. Going on holiday is not a God given right!!

As for the 'we'll take work to do on holiday' - I am sure the teachers love that. Having to plan further ahead to accommodate their students having a well deserved break when they themselves are unable to go away during term time.

Save up and go away every other year, holiday in the UK, Have a stay-cation. Seriously not everyone has to go abroad!!

OP the latter part of my post is not personally directed at you

And tomato it's exactly like people like you faking the system that they've tighten up on things like weddings so now it is harder for genuine people with weddings can't get authorised.

Right, because hundreds of people can afford to fly out to frequent weddings abroad? They've tightened it because it was a loop hole. They've made it so only the rich can afford to go abroad. Great for equal Britain, I don't think! it's a mess.

'Oh no dear me I got the dates wrong and booked in term time' rarely convinces.

I can't get over the idea that the teaching staff should give up weekend time so your children can go on holiday!

Skip off to the sun if you want to and value school so little, but you're utterly unreasonable to expect school to put itself to accommodate you in turning up when you feel like it and not when you don't!

Tomato, kids can be taken out of school, I do it every year, it's just not going to be authorised. Doesn't bother me I take unauthorised leave and would never lie about nonsense weddings, what is the point. Have also never been fined but would a happily pay the fine if I was