To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

[twinsplus1sfb]

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

Two of my kids missed reception, year 1, year 2 and year 3. We were ummmmmm home educating, well having lots of fun doing stuff. It hasn't affected their whole school careers, they both got excellent GCSEs and A levels and both have 1st class hons degrees. Talk about drama, seven year old misses SATS the world is coming to an end, oh no its isn't is it. Enjoy your holiday, the HT will get over it.

Just thought, two of mine teach in senior school, rarely leave school before 6, always available to kids after school and run planned sessions after school for exam years (11 and 13) so I don't think it would be the end of the world if a primary school teacher hung on for a couple of hours to do the SATs or get a TA to supervise them while the rest of the class are doing something else.

Yabu

Just pay the fine and maybe get some sats work todo now and submit to school.

YABU to expect the school to arrange extra teaching/SATs sessions during a holiday period and YABU to be surprised that the head won't authorise a holiday absence. Even I know a head can't do that and my DDs have left school.

YANBU to take your children out of school for a week, especially if they have otherwise unblemished attendance history and the holiday is going to provide a lot of experiences they wouldn't otherwise get. Missing a week of school simply isn't going to make any difference to their life chances or their educational outcomes. An enjoyable, mind-broadening holiday is far more likely to make a positive difference to them. Apologise politely to the head teacher for the mistake, then go on holiday and have a wonderful time.

no op for 6 pages, either she has slunk off tail between legs or was that thing i can't mention.

I don't give a shiney shit about Sats. Go on holiday and have fun.

Actually there's usually a wedding or celebration of some kind, there always is, it's just not their close family. So they're not strictly lying, just stretching truth a little. They live in a nanny state and apparently they need their lives ruled and dictated for them, they wouldn't need to get around it, if this wasn't the case. I know people that have removed their children without excuse too, I would do it to (did when I lived in the UK) Now I can be up front and tell the school what I plan to do, not have the government telling me how I can plan my life. The school may advise me to re-schedule, especially if they're are tests but as we are given a years notice of exactly when the tests are, we are able to plan holidays around that anyway. In the UK I was only told when my children's SATS were the week before and TOLD to feed them properly and make sure they were well rested (like the rest of the time they could eat Macdonalds and go to bed at 1am ) . If the OP had known she could have mentioned it to their grandad before he booked the flights.
Doesn't bother me though, I just know that a lot of my friends in the UK are upset about the rules that prevent their own children from having the experiences they had themselves.

OP go, it's a once in a lifetime experience.

I would most definitely take them anyway and pay the fine if you can afford it. But then I'm very anti SATs and would consider keeping them off in SATs week anyway, except that I believe they would sit them on return. Not much the Head can do about it.

Y2 results are based on assessment by teachers of the children's work. This does include the internally marked SATs (which do not have to be taken on a specific date) but they are just one piece of evidence and their results are not reported. Children who do not take the paper for whatever reason will have teacher assessment levels recorded just like their classmates.

I'm not saying that this makes taking the twins out of school OK but the implications for missing the test date seem to have been blown out of proportion.

Like some others I suspect the grandad did not make a mistake, just changed his mind when he saw the price difference between the two weeks. If this is what happened it is a very silly thing for him to have done.

YABVU to expect teachers to give up their free time to suit your DCs, but I expect you know that by now . My friend is a teacher and she has some choice words about parents who choose to take their DCs out of school and then expect the teachers to set them extra work on their hols or use precious TA resource when they come back to get them up to speed. I'm not sure if you are aware but generally teachers and heads work a lot more than their contracted hours already and generally have marking and class setting duties at the weekend already.

Why on earth would the headmistress compromise - she may well not have the leeway to do so, even if she did want to.

On the other hand, having said all that, without knowing much about SATs, I'm not sure that missing a week before half term could endanger the rest of their school career. I'm not from England but I assume that Y2 and Y4 means they are roughly 6 & 8 - is that right?

grannytomine "Just thought, two of mine teach in senior school, rarely leave school before 6, always available to kids after school and run planned sessions after school for exam years (11 and 13) so I don't think it would be the end of the world if a primary school teacher hung on for a couple of hours to do the SATs"

You clearly have absolutely no concept of how primary teaching works! I don't leave school till half 5 each night and then I go home and continue working. I am also (only until June hopefully!) a student teacher and so don't get paid for any of this, I do it so the children have the education they deserve. But obviously because it's 'just' primary teaching I can just bung out some family size packs of playdough each day and whizz off at half three each day.

ooo

Anyway.. .YANBU. Far more important things than a year 4 SATS grades. I would take them away and have a great time.

So there.

And one fine day will you want their GCSEs moved to suit you or to take a holiday when it is cheaper. You are being unreasonable and irresponsible.

I've read some crazy things in here, including various wind-ghosts (one today) but the bungee jump post just took number one spot.

Out of interest what educational angle is being put on the bungee jump? Is it physics testing the elasticity or during a psychology lesson as an example of pure narcissism

Sending fake wedding invitations???

It's either that or never seeing our friends and family, or our friends and family never seeing our home. Many families have been forced to break the rules now, and they will continue to do so because some things are far more important than the rules.

Bungee jumps must not be available in the school holidays - or do they put the price up of them as well ?

I got quite hopeful when a pp said they often only fine after ten days' absence as was thinking of taking ds with me on a two week trip i have to take in September. Be careful with that - it's actually ten sessions, which is ten half-days, so one week.

Op yabu to expect the school to reschedule the SATs but fwiw I would go on the holiday and not give it a second thought. I don't agree with them either esp the year 2 ones.

Genuine question here tomato.

I book our flights for our holidays as soon as they are released, often 11-12 months in advance as I know that they are going to increase price wise fairly quickly. Our flights are generally because of this very cheap and no dearer than they would be going term time.

For people with relatives abroad is it not possible to do this? One minor benefit of the school holidays is that at least you know when they are fairly far in advance.

I disagree with examinations in such young children so I say sod the sats, enjoy the holiday

Agree that YABU. You seriously suggested they open the school on a weekend so your kids can take the tests on a different day?!

But I also think that the SATs are meaningless, and if you're prepared to suck up the fine and not concerned about suggesting school isn't important (which I think depends on their age, how you play it, and how you normally pitch school-related things) then just take them. YABU to expect the school to inconvenience themselves to accommodate your decision.

I wish we could be allowed by central government two weeks of free passes ie you can legitimately take child on holiday for max that amount of time over the year but not not during exams etc. that would level out the price hikes that travel operators subject us to. Feel sorry for the head teachers they have no choice but to try to enforce these draconian rules.

My LEA doesn't issue fines at all for the first week of any unauthorized absence. The schools all sent letters home about it so really makes a mockery of all the hand wringing about 'breaking the law' to take a weeks holiday in term time imho.