Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
DontWorryBeHappyNow · 17/04/2015 10:37

If the fine really is £60 per parent per child per day then surely it would be £1800 as OP mentioned 3 children? And on that note, it sounds as if school only has a big problem with the twins because it's their SATs week but would otherwise be ok with it as they aren't making a similar fuss about the Yr4 child. If so then they are being as accommodating as they possibly can be - they aren't allowed to officially authorise a term-time holiday for any reason but they can decide to not make a fuss (although the council can still impose a fine). Unfortunately you/grandfather have timed this particularly badly and YABU to expect school to sort it out. Take the holiday, pay the fine and be prepared for hassle getting the twins' targets set correctly in the next few years as the school probably won't go to great lengths to correct a situation of your own making.

Mistigri · 17/04/2015 10:41

I'd have thought that from the educational point of view, missing SATs week is actually less damaging than missing any other week. Time spent on pointless evaluations for 7 year olds is time taken away from actual learning.

Also, the person who said above that time off school is linked with worse results is making the common error of confusing correlation with causation. The type of family whose children have high absence levels tend to be the type of family that value education less. It's not the absence that is harmful (a week off in Y2 will have zero measurable impact on outcomes) but the parental attitudes that go with it.

This isn't to say I agree with term time holidays - I don't. But I don't agree with SATs for 7 year olds either so in this case I'd probably just go on holiday and pay the fine.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2015 10:42

Sadly there are parents like the OP around who genuinely seem to think of education is some kind of movable feast and teachers only exist for the convenience of their children. I'd like to see people like her fined per child, per parent per day. People like her make life difficult for parents desperately trying to get leave of absence for family illness and bereavement.

soverylucky · 17/04/2015 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2015 10:44

OMG I'm cringing at the bungee video

Proper arse clenching, toe curling cringe going on Grin

"Dear class, I'm interrupting lessons to show your fellow classmate dangling from an elastic cord, and having a high old time (see what I did there?) on the holiday, she was expressly told shouldn't be taken during term time...."

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/04/2015 10:51

I don't think the teacher actually has to interupt a lesson to show the video. It's hardly like she's going to stop in the middle of maths to show the video.

HermiaDream · 17/04/2015 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pootles2010 · 17/04/2015 10:56

She's not going to show the video Grin

PurpleAlert · 17/04/2015 11:00

"I would have no problem with my children missing their SATs. I don't agree with testing at such a young age"

I do not know a single teacher who would disagree with this but have no say in the matter.

Headteachers also have no say in the matter of authorising absences for holidays.

And you seriously think that underpaid overworked teachers (many of whom are leaving the profession in droves) should give up their diminishing free time to help your children catch up so you can go on holiday.

You are not only massively entitled but also totaly deluded.

Fairenuff · 17/04/2015 11:01

To be fair, I do think that many parents do not have a clue about the pace of the school day. Teachers are teaching. The only time they are not teaching is when the children are on break.

Then the teacher can go to the toilet, get a drink, liaise with staff, etc. There is no time at all for 'show and tell' unless it is timetabled into the day. Even if you allow 3 minutes per child, in a class of 30 that is still an hour and a half to find over the week.

Unscheduled holiday videos just won't make it. There literally is no time.

But these requests do cause hilarity in the staff room, so I guess they have their place Grin

Heels99 · 17/04/2015 11:02

Oh yes the fine for op will be £1800 not £1200. Hope grandad got a good deal in the holiday to cover that.

PtolemysNeedle · 17/04/2015 11:05

Even if SATs are for the schools benefit and not the child's (which isn't the whole story, but anyway) then why should the school compromise when you are actively choosing to do something that will make things difficult for them?

Compromise in your mind actually means the head making her already over worked staff having to do even more, just so that you can go and have some fun in the sun. What on earth makes you think you deserve that?

On the video thing, a child at my school brought in a video of his term time holiday where he went swimming with captive dolphins. The teacher refused to show it as she is aware of the cruelty around it and also didn't see why her class should have to watch it when they'd been at school working at the time it was taken. The parent made an appointment with the HT to complain! Thankfully, the ht has some common sense.

annielouise · 17/04/2015 11:07

Go on holiday. The SATs are for the school's benefit not yours. Pay the fine. I hate this by teachers - it'll affect his whole school career; I've also heard it. Must be a standard stock phrase. Wish they'd realise some parents are intelligent enough to realise in Yr 2 and 4 that it won't.

tiggytape · 17/04/2015 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oddfodd · 17/04/2015 11:13

At DS's school, they use the SATS to determine what learning set your child is put into in year 3. So it means more work for the teachers if your kids miss them.

As you don't appear to give a toss about teachers' time anyway, I doubt that will bother you!

MidniteScribbler · 17/04/2015 11:23

a week off in Y2 will have zero measurable impact on outcomes) but the parental attitudes that go with it.

The OP is showing her attitude to education by assuming that teachers will be willing to come in on the weekend so she can still get her hi day. That attitude isn't a one-off thing, it shows how she views the teachers and that education can just be moved around on a whim.

Every time someone thinks that it's ok to expect a teacher to provide "worksheets" for little Abcde to (not bother to) do while skiing, or to schedule time to view the video oh Heaven-Leigh riding a camel across the desert, they show how little they understand, and how little they value education.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 17/04/2015 11:31

The fine is not per day!! It is per absence. It is per parent though so it will be £60 per parent and per child so £360 which doubles if not paid in a certain time.

Roomba · 17/04/2015 11:32

My son's school is actually pretty understanding about things like this, and will try and stretch things as much as they can for parents/pupils. But it is made very very clear on their website, the school handbook and every letter they send out about absence or term dates - Do not request time off in May, particularly SATS week, as it WILL NOT be authorised. Ever. Full Stop.

Reluctantlandlord · 17/04/2015 11:39

Of course they can't sit them in the evening or at the weekend but it's a load of old nonsense to pretend that they couldn't sit them the week before or on their return. 100s of Y2 children who are off ill return to school and are sat just outside the class or in the HT's office or similar to take their test. Usually a TA will sit with them or check on them every 10mins. It happens all the time. It is no big deal. The HT is just trying to make a point but it's silly to pretend that this doesn't happen. And it's very clearly within the rules at KS1.

Going on holiday during term time is one thing. It's now against the rules and you could be fined. Being told it is impossible for your child to still take the sats and worse, being told it will affect their entire school career is just scaremongering bollox.

And to the previous posters who are saying this is true as the scores are used to set targets for ks2 are conveniently forgetting that the main element of ks1 assessments are teacher assessments which, if the op's children have otherwise excellent attendance and the teacher has done the usual formative assessments throughout the year, should not be an issue at all.

Op, YABU to expect the teachers to work evenings or weekends but the HT is being ridiculous to suggest that missing the SATs will adversely affect their entire school career.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 17/04/2015 11:52

Jeez where have you been? Of COURSE she can't authorise their absence at any time for a holiday never mind SATs week. Although the stuff about ruining their whole school career is melodramatic bollocks I grant you.

As for your frankly ridiculous suggestion about the teachers giving up time unpaid for your extra special children did you not just THINK first?!

Teacher: sorry family, swimming on Saturday morning is cancelled because I will need the car... and so is the trip to the park on Sunday while I catch up on the laundry because I have to work on Saturday.
Family: oh no! Why do you have to work extra?!
Teacher: well you see there are these two children in my class who are going on an all expenses paid holiday during term time so I have to work unpaid to facilitate that holiday.
Family: erm, we don't get to go on term time holidays so why are they getting special treatment? We can't even afford to go on a holiday abroad in school holidays!
Teacher: Because their grandad, who is paying, got the dates wrong.

muminhants · 17/04/2015 11:58

Headteachers also have no say in the matter of authorising absences for holidays.

Yes they do, they can approve it in exceptional circumstances. The problem appears to be that they are interpreting "exceptional circumstances" as "never" which of course is leading to some ludicrous situations. However, this is not one of them.

FireCanal · 17/04/2015 12:03

Call me cynical, but I don't believe anyone accidently books an expensive holiday for the wrong week Hmm

tuppenceabag · 17/04/2015 12:11

It's quite hilarious that, because of an error or your family's part, you expect everyone else to sort it out for you! Gave me a real laugh, that did. It's like saying: "Hey, I can't go shopping when the shop's open: I know, I'll request that they open just for me, as a goodwill gesture, and not be paid for it."
Yes, brilliant idea... Hmm

Ginmartini · 17/04/2015 12:13
  1. Do not believe for a second that grandfather booked this holiday without checking with you!
  1. Find it astonishing, bordering on revolting, that you actually expect teachers to work extra hours with your twins because they want to go on holiday. Have a word with yourself!
  1. YANBU to take kids out of school for holidays if you are willing to pay the fine and I agree with others that year 2 SATs are hardly going to affect your kids' futures.
GraysAnalogy · 17/04/2015 12:16

I've just dropped a video of DD1 bungy jumping in to her teacher for the class to watch. I haven't been strung up and whipped yet...

What the hell.