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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/04/2015 10:08

As it's year 2 it won't make any difference to the schools scores. KS1 sats are based on teacher assessment of work during the year. They have to sit the tests, but the result of that isn't officially reported anywhere. It is the teacher assessment mark that is reported to parents and the LA and that is used for target setting at KS2.

kali110 · 17/04/2015 10:09

Yes, it's ybu, not the headmistress.

juliej75 · 17/04/2015 10:09

Genuinely curious here - is there much of a correlation between parents who take school seriously (not late, always insist homework done, no termtime holidays etc) and achievement?

All very well to say SATs aren't important (probably true in the overall scheme of things) but it doesn't send a very good message to the children.

And even if it is a rare aberration, it's the holiday and missing exams that the children (and school) will remember, not the years of perfect attendance.

SpeckleDust · 17/04/2015 10:09

Out of interest, what happens if children sitting SATS are ill that week? Do they retake them another time or do they just miss them?

HermiaDream · 17/04/2015 10:10

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DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 17/04/2015 10:11

listsandbudgets

Go on holiday, pay the fine and forget the SATs.

Lots of private schools don't even do SATs at all - ever.

But they're in a different field. For them Ofsted wouldn't come in because of a sudden drop in SATs as they don't do them. OP's children's school does do them and therefore OP's own children will be effected by any knick in effect to the school of the sudden drop in rates.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 17/04/2015 10:11

*knock on.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 17/04/2015 10:14

No they won't down. Ofsted will be looking at the teacher assessment scores, not the test scores. The test scores don't matter. If the school are doing all their TA during one week they have a lot bigger problems that the OP's children missing a week of school.

DarkBlueEyes · 17/04/2015 10:15

Year two sats are no big deal and to suggest that they would "affect their whole school career" is hysterically funny. at our school they play them down and it's no biggie.

In your position I'd take the holiday and pay the fine. Make sure you do educational things with your kids and get them to write a travel diary to show their teacher.

We've just got back from NZ and missed 6 days of school, and were also refused permission to go. No fine so far....

My children are in yr6 And yr 3 btw... I've just dropped a video of DD1 bungy jumping in to her teacher for the class to watch. I haven't been strung up and whipped yet...

Monica101 · 17/04/2015 10:15

I'd pay the fine and just go when I wanted.

When they are this little this sort of fuss is ridiculous!

HermiaDream · 17/04/2015 10:15

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OrangeMochaFrappucino · 17/04/2015 10:16

It will have no effect on their school career, that is nonsense.

The head is not being inflexible for fun, she has no choice. She isn't allowed to authorize your holiday.

I'm a teacher and before the term time holiday rules came in, parents would always take their kids on holiday and ask for work to be provided. It creates a massive amount of extra work for teachers, it's really not as simple as printing off a few worksheets. One kid got taken abroad for six weeks and missed a whole piece of GCSE coursework, his parents are assumed that his teachers would simply give up their own time to give him one to one tuition to make up for the six weeks worth of missed work. Of course, they had to do it. I know these rules cause a lot of hassle for parents, but I'm so grateful that situations like that can't happen any more!

muminhants · 17/04/2015 10:16

Y2 kids don't do exams, they are teacher assessments. In theory they could be done at other times, it's not like the Y6 SATS which have to be sat at other times.

I am not sure but I think if someone is ill and misses a Y6 SAT that is it. The school will ask for the kids to come in if they possibly can, do the test and go home. But Y2 assessments are different, they could be done at other times for a good reason like illness (not grandfather not checking dates). They are low key the kids are not really supposed to know that they are doing them, so if they miss them there is no "message" sent.

LifeHuh · 17/04/2015 10:16

Don't agree with term time holidays but also disagree with KS2 Sats results affecting a child's whole school career which is just silly.
And the impact on the school will depend on what OP's DCs are likely to score,surely - if DS has missed KS2 SATs the overall school results would have looked better Smile

Fairenuff · 17/04/2015 10:17

SATS have no bearing on your child's future or current education OP so it's fine to miss them.

The holiday booking is your problem to sort out so you can't expect school staff to work around your mistake.

Remember, you are just one family, if they did it for you they would have to do it for everyone and there is no way to accommodate each family with term time holidays and catching up with missed teaching.

So I would say take the holiday, pay the fine and miss the SATS.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 17/04/2015 10:19

Sorry I had an unfortunate cross post with Hermia. I totally agree with her that attendance is really important, I just mean that missing Y2 SAYs won't damage them for life. Poor attendance would damage their school career but if they have 100% attendance and missed five days as a one off, that won't be damaging.

hidingfromthem · 17/04/2015 10:19

as if teachers didn't have enough to do as well as setting a second set of SATs for those kids who go off on their jollies in term time.
the mind boggles.

Purplefrogeatsalily · 17/04/2015 10:19

I would be extremely apologetic to the school (as your request to them has been unreasonable), and still go on the holiday.

Agree that their grandfather probably did it on purpose, looking at the prices- make sure he doesn't, again!

Sparkle9 · 17/04/2015 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MidniteScribbler · 17/04/2015 10:21

I've just dropped a video of DD1 bungy jumping in to her teacher for the class to watch.

Yes, because not only does the teacher have all the time in the world to show a video to rub it in to the rest of the students that your daughter got let off school when she shouldn't, but that bungee jumping experience obviously makes up for all the days of missed actual education that the teacher then has to find valuable class time to catch up your child.

mollyonthemove · 17/04/2015 10:24

We took our dd (year 4) out for three days before the easter holidays - and yes it was a genuine mistake re dates. The school refused permission as I knew they would but I personally felt that the day she spent riding through the Portuguese mountains with a lovely lady talking to her about the countryside, the climate, the different crops that grow there and the workings of a horse was actually a bit more useful than watching a DVD. SATS are a massively divisive subject I know but really I would have checked had she been in year 2 or 6.

Micah · 17/04/2015 10:26

I've just booked a trip.

In the small print you have a grace period- I think mine was 24 hrs for a £50 flight- in which to cancel or change your booking. In case you get your dates wrong or other error.

If it was a genuine error, why didn't grandad get straight on to you holiday company and change the dates? Why is your first thought to ask school to accommodate?

Smells a little fishy to me...

youarekiddingme · 17/04/2015 10:27

Children are teacher assessed in year 2. The SATS are not set for year and are previous years papers that the school chose. It will not affect their school career.

YABU to expect the HT to be happy to arrange everything around your twins - however just tell her you've realised they aren't compulsorary so retract that suggestion and accept the unauthorised absence will incur a fine.

londonrach · 17/04/2015 10:27

Yabu for the sats testing not the holiday. Would you take your children on holiday if they sitting their gcses and a levels. They can not be organised as one of my friend had to go to stay at a teachers house as his exams clashed and he was to sit one the next day. Reorganise the holiday

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 10:32

You seriously imagine the teacher is going to interrupt a lesson to show a video of what your dd did on holiday, DarkBlue... Never mind a holiday she took when she was supposed to be in school? Hmm
Some people have no self awareness whatsoever. Shock
I'll bet you kept the staff room entertained that day, at any rate.

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