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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be f*ed off at my husband for buying GTA5?

216 replies

Oakmaiden · 14/04/2015 19:56

Yes, yes, I know he is an adult, and I am not his mother, etc.

I also told my nearly 18 year old son that he would never be allowed to play violent and misogynistic games like that in my home.

And now his father has bought it, and I am not pleased. But he, obviously, thinks I am being stupid.

Am I?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 14/04/2015 20:03

Wouldn't bother me tbh, it's just a game

Handsoff7 · 14/04/2015 20:04

Yes, as you said you know he is an adult, and you are not his mother.

morethanpotatoprints · 14/04/2015 20:05

As you said he is an adult.
Who plays games, by the sounds of it.
If I was you I'd be pissed off at myself for being with a grown up who still plays games.

Fairylea · 14/04/2015 20:06

Hmmm. I know the general consensus on mumsnet seems to be very anti computer games for adults in general especially grand theft and call of duty but I think it's no worse than a lot of 18 rated films to be honest. I wouldn't want a child playing it or seeing it at all (and I can't believe how many mums at my dds school let their dc have it!) But for an adult I think it's fair enough to be honest.

The only time I have an issue with games or games consoles is when they become addictive to the point of taking over family life. My dh is a gamer and only plays in the evenings when the dc are in bed and i'm doing my own hobby. He played gta for a while but he prefers fantasy type games.

TravellingToad · 14/04/2015 20:06

As long as he doesn't play it when your ds is in the room if you've made a decision he can't play it. I agree its not suitable for teens, even 18yr old ones.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2015 20:07

It would bother me a bit. DH plays CoD but does intervene if nasty shit (racist etc.) gets said online, or if an obviously very young child is playing. GTA is really misogynist. I would want to know why that doesn't bother him.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 14/04/2015 20:08

I'm with you OP, I would not have that game under our roof. Not that DH has any interest in games at all, and DS is only 10. But everythign I hear about that game and its ilk shocks me. Vile vile vile stuff. I really worry about the messages we are sending our younger generation TBH.

Madamecastafiore · 14/04/2015 20:09

I wouldn't allow it in my house.

DH knows this and agrees with me.

DCs will not be allowed to bring this sort of stuff into house either.

So yes, YANBU.

ChazzerChaser · 14/04/2015 20:11

Yep I'd be fucked off. One of the reasons I'm married to him is because he wouldn't be interested in such violent misogynistic shit.

LotusLight · 14/04/2015 20:11

Computer games are great and damage no one. They are force for huge good on the planet.

LadyFairfaxSake · 14/04/2015 20:15

Yabu, he's a grown up & it's just a game. It's not likely to turn him into a bank robber or a psycho.
It's angered you because you disapprove of it & have told DS that he'll never be allowed to play it in "your home" - thing is, your home is also DH's home & DS's home.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 14/04/2015 20:19

Totally unreasonable, and maybe actually educate yourself about the game. It's mainly satire, not encouraging the breaking of society. No obe us making you play it, and I highly doubt it will turn your poor husband intact psychopath.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 14/04/2015 20:19

Into a not intact

googoodolly · 14/04/2015 20:20

YANBU. DP plays loads of video games but he refuses to play anything like GTA. It's a horrible game that involves enacting out rape scenes but apparently that's okay because it's "just a game".

Disgusting imo.

BathshebaDarkstone · 14/04/2015 20:25

I play Plants vs Zombies when my internet allowance expires on my phone and I'm awake at 2.30 am. I can't read, I don't have a bedside lamp. I don't think playing GTA5 is any worse than watching a slasher movie. Smile

LadyFairfaxSake · 14/04/2015 20:26

Googoo, it does not involve acting out rape scenes. There is a scene where the character is able to intervene in what might have been going to be a rape by AI characters.
Not the same at all. Most of the bile spewed about GTA5 is sensationalist & inaccurate to a point that would embarrass the Daily Mail.

VeryVeryDarkGrey · 14/04/2015 20:26

Ive played GTA5 and not once did i enact a rape scene

VeryVeryDarkGrey · 14/04/2015 20:29

Or what LadyFairFaxSake said

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/04/2015 20:30

I wouldn't have it in my house.
Dh has no interest in it.
Ds1 (16) has played it at a friends house more than once.
He wouldn't even bother to twist his lips to start asking me if he can have it as he knows full well it ain't happening. Ever.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 14/04/2015 20:30

I have played every GTA, and have no memory of acting out a 'rape scene' either. Seriously, there are just as violent games and tv shows out there that no one give a shit. Stop going on 'what you've heard', because quite likely you're wrong. You don't have to like it, or play it, but it's not nearly as bad as you think it is. Oh as for 'won't anyone think if the children', it's an 18, for sensible adults.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/04/2015 20:32

. Most of the bile spewed about GTA5 is sensationalist & inaccurate to a point that would embarrass the Daily Mail

That's funny then because the bits I have seen show women as prostitutes, people getting beat up left right and centre, drug use, car stealing and strip clubs

That wasn't gta5 to be fair, but I sincerely doubt it's much different.

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 14/04/2015 20:33

As it happens I don't think it will turn him into a psychopath or murderer. I just feel it is a game that demonstrates some pretty nasty viewpoints, and I am disappointed that he thinks they are OK because it is "just a game". Until today I firmly believed he agreed with this viewpoint.

I would be just as disappointed if he chose to watch films in which a "hero" did some of the things that can happen in GTA.

And the fact that my 10 year old son has noted the arrival of the box and keeps talking about it doesn't help me feel positive about it either. He WILL play it while the children are around. He might not do objectionable things in it whilst the children are watching (or not deliberately) but it kindof makes the whole thing "OK" then, doesn't it?

I know there is nothing I can do. I have no right to ban him from playing or doing anything. I have already lost the porn "battle", although it makes my flesh crawl to think about it too much. Having lost the porn debate (or at least explained my objections, to be told that he doesn't agree and that it doesn't really matter what I think about it) then I am not getting into a row about this one.

But I am fucked off about it.

Apparently unreasonably so.

Ho hum.

OP posts:
WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 14/04/2015 20:35

YABU, your husband is an adult and can make his own choices. If you don't like it don't be around him playing it. IMO your 18 year old son is also an adult and can make his own decisions.

browneyedgirl86 · 14/04/2015 20:35

I play gta as does my DP, none of us have ever enacted a rape scene, the part with the prostitutes is entirely optional. I don't play those bits and I know my DP doesn't like it, it is possible to play the game without doing any of that.

There's nothing wrong with an adult playing video games. There are games out there for all ages. GTA being an example of an adult computer game.

Yabu, it is just a game. Your husband is an adult and is free to make his own choices.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 14/04/2015 20:35

We've completed GTA V and IV and we've never had to re-enact a rape scene.

YABU. It's just a game. If your OH uses it to be misogynistic, that's his problem, not the game.

Nothing wrong with an adult playing video games. It's a hobby and a fun past time, like watching TV, knitting, jogging - whatever people enjoy.

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